Insecurity, self-esteem and the American culture of consumerism

[Memphis1979]

Originally Posted by mateo45

Actually sociologist Christopher Lasch described all this back in the 70's with "The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in an Age of Diminishing Expectations".

Basically he says that post WWII consumerism is creating a society where folks come to see themselves not so much by their talents and abilities anymore, but by what they own… aka, "I am my BMW, pure-bred Bichon Frisé, Glock 19, McMansion, Harley Fat Boy, ACLU membership, Mastercard Points"…whatever.

Which naturally leads to all the other charming traits of clinical Narcissism… "entitlement", grandiosity, lack of empathy, no accountability, etc. (sound familiar)?!

I disagree with Mr. Lasch on this aspect.

Narcissism is defined as "Its all about me" but when something goes wrong it must be "my fault" More of the self absorbed nature of narcissism.

Borderline is defined as "Its all about me" but when something goes wrong it must be "everyone elses fault" and then will lash out against those in their circle as responsible for their misfortune.

I don't hear many people blaming their problems on themselves. I hear an ass load of people blaming them on everyone else.

[mateo45]

If you read the DSM descriptions of Narcissism and BPD, they both share several symptoms, including a noted lack of responsibility or accountability (aka, "it's always someone else's fault!").

But neither one has a particularly well-grounded personality or ego, because they're both always dependent on some sort of outside re-enforcement (via having the right "stuff", or even by treating people as 'objects', aka "narcissistic supply"). And BTW, BPD's with their shaky self-image, are sometimes described as making good 'actors' for the Narcissist's grandiose 'movie' (which is all about them, naturally), and why they're often a common 'marriage'!

https://www.bpdcentral.com/faq/personality-disorders