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Many reasons and it needs to be stopped. For one, we need to stop providing welfare to these women because so many have children for this reason. Likewise, make sure the sperm donor is fined and pays his share. A greater issue though is asking why these women value themselves so little that they have sex with these loser men. I know a few who had babies with men they knew wouldn't stick around because they already had baby mamas. Why? We need to also stop glorifying unwed parenthood and shame both men and women who engage in this behavior.
Moderator cut: Against Great Debates guidelines. Let's look at it this way for a moment you say "It is truly sad but we are not helping the situation by continuing to pay for them." Unless you mean something progressive like a way to get them off this system then I cannot agree that we should not pay for them. Maybe it was just you did not take time to write it out thoroughly but if you mean we should stop cold turkey paying for the poor women and children to have food and shelter, I cannot agree. That is cruel.
Imagine if tomorrow we just decided to say no and close all assistance no matter the need because we are sick of the cycle and the paying for these "deadbeats:. What would happen? Would we see toddlers and babies with mom's on streets crying and asking for food. Would we get so callous like in Brazil that we would go to areas where we see children homeless living in gangs of children and rape them and kill them for sport? I for one do not want to become that kind of society. I would rather give them money for now. I would rather research the issues and see how much a drain they really are and redo the system.
I think too many mean spirited people see and notice all the bad things like the guy in the checkout line buying lobster with his food stamp card. I want to see the reality not magnify the bad there is.
Obviously we can't just instantly stop welfare. What I think we need to do is put limits on it (real limits not ones that we currently have a million ways and waivers around), channel money into job training/education/internships/something (many of these programs have had their funding cut), I know some people hate this one but I think people need to be on birth control while receiving welfare. If you cannot support the family you have now, you have not earned your right to reproductive freedom. This is a BIG one. No more reproducing while on welfare or SSI or SSD. Also I think all people on welfare should HAVE to do some type of work to receive the funding...something to make them start feeling productive and maybe change the image they have of themselves as non contributing members of society. If they already work, fine. I am talking about the people who are "too disabled to work" or have to take care of their kids so they can't work or "can't find a job" so sit on welfare for 5 generations. I'm sorry but they can ALL do something! Even if it is cleaning up litter on the sidewalk for an hour a week, crossing guard for schools, weed picker, dishing out meals at the soup kitchen, some type of volunteering or work should be MANDATORY... EVERYONE can do something. Let's start breaking this generational cycle of poverty and give these kids a chance to succeed in life.
Disclaimer- And just so you know I am not just noticing the bad (the guy using food stamps to buy lobster as you mentioned above). I know what I am talking about as I have worked with this population for over 16 years now. I KNOW this population.
Why do the men get a pass for being the ones impregnating all these women? Why can't they be more responsible? Although I do agree, I wonder when people will finally take having kids more seriously.
Women ultimately give birth and are most likely going to get full custody of the child barring drug use or some other criminal behavior, so it's not 50/50. Therefore, women should be more cautious. I think men should be more responsible too, but the brunt of the responsibility goes to the women, whether it be fair or not.
Both are responsible for the child, but then why is it that they don't get equal custody often even if the father wants it?
Sometimes they do, but more often than not the woman gets full custody, with the man just getting the kid every other weekend..
My uncle paid over $250,000 to drag his ex wife through the courts to get full custody. He hired a private investigator and everything to follow her so he could have PROOF that he needed to prove she was an unfit mother.
THEN, even though he gets full custody (she gets them every other weekend) it somehow still works out that he pays her child support for the every other weekend that she gets them.
Like I said, women are favored so much in custody battles that it's pathetic. Most men couldn't have the chance to be equivalent fathers even if they wanted to.
In many states and it is becoming more the norm child custody is by default 50/50. The reason fathers don't get custody when they might want it is because they don't ask for it or wont fight for it. When they do they are granted custody in 50% or more of the contested cases. So much for that theory.
Custody has moved form early common law where children were considered paternal property so fathers always got custody, to the tender year doctrine, where mothers were seen as a better fit custodial parent because they were mostly the caretakers of children to the best interest of the child doctrine where the primary caretaker is usually given custodial custody.
There is still much bias in the family court system especially when it comes to the carrying out of custody agreements. This lies with individual justices and courts. I think something needs to be done to guarantee the non custodial parent has more resources to insure that they actually get the parenting time agreed upon without interference from the other parent.
In my area most of the young mothers, while not married, do have the baby's father to varying degrees active in their lives and the child's life. They do not married because they get more benefits from the state. Free health care, WIC, FS, housing, etc. Most of these girls don't have what it takes to further their education or have any kind of decent future on their own. On top of that they do seem to believe it is some magical super power to have a child or two and they are proud of it even though they cant care for a child without assistance.
I think we need to stop glorifying teen motherhood, we need more job training and education in general and maybe some sort of program like the ones that try to scare teen to remain drug free and sober, but to remain childfree until they are financially and emotionally ready to become parents. We also need to set higher goals, with a support system to back it up, for our young people, male and female.
Obviously we can't just instantly stop welfare. What I think we need to do is put limits on it (real limits not ones that we currently have a million ways and waivers around), channel money into job training/education/internships/something (many of these programs have had their funding cut), I know some people hate this one but I think people need to be on birth control while receiving welfare. If you cannot support the family you have now, you have not earned your right to reproductive freedom. This is a BIG one. No more reproducing while on welfare or SSI or SSD. Also I think all people on welfare should HAVE to do some type of work to receive the funding...something to make them start feeling productive and maybe change the image they have of themselves as non contributing members of society. If they already work, fine. I am talking about the people who are "too disabled to work" or have to take care of their kids so they can't work or "can't find a job" so sit on welfare for 5 generations. I'm sorry but they can ALL do something! Even if it is cleaning up litter on the sidewalk for an hour a week, crossing guard for schools, weed picker, dishing out meals at the soup kitchen, some type of volunteering or work should be MANDATORY... EVERYONE can do something. Let's start breaking this generational cycle of poverty and give these kids a chance to succeed in life.
Disclaimer- And just so you know I am not just noticing the bad (the guy using food stamps to buy lobster as you mentioned above). I know what I am talking about as I have worked with this population for over 16 years now. I KNOW this population.
Really, now it is controling whether a woman has a baby, but the same people also want to prevent abortions and limit birth control and reduce welfare. One way or the other it seems like people want to control what a woman does with her body. When do women get to control what a man does with his body? Maybe the solution would be to prevent the men from shooting loaded bullets, put them on drugs to make them shoot blanks. A man has 100% control over wearing protection or not, but once the woman is pregnant, he is just a "sperm donor ", the mom is the one that takes over from there and gets the blame and the shame. Make all young heterosexual men get an implant that prevents them from making a woman pregnant and in the future if they want to have a family and be responsible, it can be removed. Why pin all the responsibility on the women, let the men honestly carry some of the burden.
There is alot that can be said for abstaining from sex before marriage.
Fornication is about two irresponsible adults not waiting for marriage to deal with the fruits of having a union that should only be enjoyed in marriage to face the challenges together that a union would have.
Our society tolerates bad behavior. Instead of shaming women who have children out of wedlock, our country puts them on a pedestal. Basically giving the idea that it's great to be a single mother and you don't need a man. Our government continues to give money to single mothers with multiple kids in the form of welfare. I know that some people do fall on hard times but welfare does give women the safety net to continue to act irresponsibility because they believe that the government will take care of their kids if they get pregnant. If the government didn't provide welfare for out of wedlock children then that would force a lot of women to be more responsible in their decision making.
Our society tolerates bad behavior. Instead of shaming women who have children out of wedlock, our country puts them on a pedestal. Basically giving the idea that it's great to be a single mother and you don't need a man. Our government continues to give money to single mothers with multiple kids in the form of welfare. I know that some people do fall on hard times but welfare does give women the safety net to continue to act irresponsibility because they believe that the government will take care of their kids if they get pregnant. If the government didn't provide welfare for out of wedlock children then that would force a lot of women to be more responsible in their decision making.
No it wouldn't. All we'd have is a bunch of starving kids.
There are countries all over the world where the poorest of the poor get ZERO help from anyone, and they still pop out babies, often at a higher rate than those with more money. That "starve them and they'll stop" tactic never works.
Why? Because the decision to have babies is not based on money on the first place.
I still do not understand how it is the woman that ends up being irresponsible, they take the brunt of it all including the blame, the men get pats on the back as if their virility has been proved.
Look, we can play the blame game all day. Here are the facts: the woman has to allow the men to have sex. she is the gatekeeper. She has MUCH MORE to lose by being irresponsible and getting pregnant when she is not ready. When you have more to lose than someone else, shouldn't you be more responsible and make sound decisions? When I am broke, I don't gamble. I'll let the million dollar man with little to lose play that game. Also, men are biologically programmed to seek out women for sex. This isn't my opinion, it is proven science. It has been this way since humans began, and no amount of being mad at men and wanting them to be shamed more is going to change it. Some of you can spew opinions and anger all you want, but I just laid the facts out there for ya. It is up to you whether you would like to face reality or not.
Teach responsibility. Stop praising bad behavior. Preach education. Promote birth control. That is society's only hope on this issue.
Our society tolerates bad behavior. Instead of shaming women who have children out of wedlock, our country puts them on a pedestal. Basically giving the idea that it's great to be a single mother and you don't need a man. Our government continues to give money to single mothers with multiple kids in the form of welfare. I know that some people do fall on hard times but welfare does give women the safety net to continue to act irresponsibility because they believe that the government will take care of their kids if they get pregnant. If the government didn't provide welfare for out of wedlock children then that would force a lot of women to be more responsible in their decision making.
The ole' boys will be boys saying should become bile in ther mouths when unwanted pregnancy comes. it is amazing how pressure to avoid making that mistake comes after having made it.
Sometimes, I think parents fail to shame their sons when they are the fathers of the children. More often than not, the parents protect the sons from responsibility because they want a brighter future for their sons to not see it thrown away because of a "mistake".
Sometimes, they do it for their daughters as well, but usually that would involve abortion, rather than carry the child to term to give the child up for adoptions. The quicker they get rid of the shame, the faster they can get over shame and continue on for that brighter future, but it doesn't work that way.
Maybe the blame should be on the parents for not instilling enough common sense for the rule of life in not having sex before marriage?
Proverbs 22:6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
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