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Only insofar as pregnancy and birth is concerned. Aside from that, men need to deal with the consequences too.
And these men are choosing to deal with the consequences by running away and not being available.
They are bad people.
So in this case, would it be more politically correct to say "Children are growing without parents. This is a problem. With so many women being stupid about who they are choosing as mates and so many men being bad about responsibility, what is the appropriate answer to make sure children get what they need?"
And these men are choosing to deal with the consequences by running away and not being available.
They are bad people.
So in this case, would it be more politically correct to say "Children are growing without parents. This is a problem. With so many women being stupid about who they are choosing as mates and so many men being bad about responsibility, what is the appropriate answer to make sure children get what they need?"
That isn't "politically correct," it's just correct. This is huge problem in our society and both genders are to blame.
What to do about it? Make it illegal to not tell a man that he has a child. Make sure every child has 2 legal parents then punish them if they try to abandon their kid. Dads walking away is why these women and children have no prospects.
Honestly, which is the worse crime? Having unprotected sex with someone you (think you) love or abandoning a child? I don't see why women get the brunt of the single parent household judgement except that it's just plain convenient.
Last edited by Oldhag1; 02-06-2015 at 07:54 AM..
Reason: Language
Because women are the gate keeper and should use better judgment in who they let inside so to speak. There are far more consequences for a female having sex and getting preggo irresponsibly than for a man. It's just a fact.
Wrong. Two people make a baby and two people should bear the full consequences. Pregnancy is only 9 short months, compare that to 18 YEARS of a child needing a support system and I'd say it's pretty fair.
Men should have more responsibility about where they stick it. AND women should be more careful.
Wrong. Two people make a baby and two people should bear the full consequences. Pregnancy is only 9 short months, compare that to 18 YEARS of a child needing a support system and I'd say it's pretty fair.
Men should have more responsibility about where they stick it. AND women should be more careful.
Yeah, unfortunately it doesn't work out like this.
Even if a man is an equally fit father, he will have an incredibly hard time getting 50% custody. Even if the father is a better fit, the courts nearly always side with the mother.
So, it isn't equal. Why should men often have to pay over 50% of the support of the child, but they are only allowed to be with them every other weekend.
I think all men who pay child support should be given the option of 50% custody, unless they are incredibly and proven to be unfit.
I don't have kids, but will in the next few years. I know for a fact if I knocked up some deadbeat woman, I would rather have full custody and have the mother never involved in her life, take on all that responsibility myself, in turn for being able to raise the child myself instead of just every other weekend. Heck, I'd pay the woman to have no custody if I could raise the child myself, in one home. I have no desire to ever raise a kid in two homes. It messes a lot of children up.
To add to the discussion, it is a common trend in my area. No one ever expresses shame or disappointment. Everyone (including the soon to be mom) rejoices and claps as if she won the nobel prize. Even if the dad is a crackhead and leaves, she is so brave and amazing for becoming a mother. As you can probably see, this only reinforces the behavior rather than teach and deter irresponsible pregnancies in the future.
That is what I see here in my small town. One dad was shot execution style before baby was even born, but he would have been the best dad ever! Maybe delusion is all they have left in life?
Maybe the baby is sort of a lifeline. Something they have that gives them a reason or excuse for the life they lead. I'm a MOM, so I must be important. We've been told that being a mom is the hardest and most important job in the world.
Men, women, sex, procreation and posterity are an infinitely complex mix with an infinite number of outcomes. Good luck trying to make sense of it. Humans have been trying for millennia.
One of the standard myths, at least in my parent's generation and predominant in mine (Boomer) is that a young woman was supposed to find a decent guy, fall in love, get married, have kids and stay together forever. That is a lot of maybes to string together and have it work. I knew one woman that said, when I asked her why she had a child while she was still single, answered that a baby would be someone to love her. I was feeling less than generous and responded by telling her she should have gotten a dog and a vibrator. They are more reliable and easier to maintain.
Wrong. Two people make a baby and two people should bear the full consequences. Pregnancy is only 9 short months, compare that to 18 YEARS of a child needing a support system and I'd say it's pretty fair.
Men should have more responsibility about where they stick it. AND women should be more careful.
How is a man to be held responsible when you can not prove he was the man? You can not seize his DNA, thus ultimately we depend upon the gatekeeper's sense of mission and hope. It may be two people biologically linked, but those socially engaged can be much higher. It was because of the fact that we could not prove the responsible party without an unconstitutional, in the United States, search and seizure that there is a legal prejudice that the husband is the father no matter how many men the gate was opened for.
Working at a welfare office I am well aware of what the OP is saying. We see many young women (girls really) with multiple babies with multiple baby daddies. They rely on public assistance (cash, food stamps which is now called SNAP, medicaid, energy assistance, housing assistance, basically EVERYTHING assistance) all courtesy of the tax payer.
They usually come from unstable, fatherless families where the mother was also a teen mom and is also receiving public assistance and/or Social security disability. They seem to see no way out of the lifestyle because this is all they know. All their friends, family, associates etc fall into this same dead end life style. Since they are all on subsidized housing most of them live in the projects where once again this is all they see surrounding them. No one goes to college, no one dreams of a different life, popping out babies is the norm. It is truly sad but we are not helping the situation by continuing to pay for them. All we do is enable them to continue the sad downward spiral...
Now I do realize that not EVERY young mom falls into this pattern but what I described is the norm where I work.
Yeah, unfortunately it doesn't work out like this.
Even if a man is an equally fit father, he will have an incredibly hard time getting 50% custody. Even if the father is a better fit, the courts nearly always side with the mother.
So, it isn't equal. Why should men often have to pay over 50% of the support of the child, but they are only allowed to be with them every other weekend.
You sound like it's just a transaction. When men don't use condoms and women don't use birth control and she ends up pregnant, both are responsible for that child. So none of this "I'm not going to support the child because I can't see them" crap. I have a brother who has had problems all his life stemming from the fact that his biological dad never wanted anything to do with him.
So if men don't want to be in this situation, use a condom to prevent another child being brought into this world to live most likely in poverty and without both parents around.
As a guy, I've always viewed it that we need to be more careful, since once the pregnancy happens we have no control over what happens in pregnancy. We have fewer choices/control on the backside, so we better be super careful on the front end.
This is assuming you have a evolved ethical streak in you that see's abandoning the child as not being a feasible option. Once you are there, yeah men have to be even more careful because we don't have the choice to abort/put up for adoption/keep and raise. We are at the whim of the woman.
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