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My Mom and I were discussing this the other day. She told me about her recent experience at a local mall.
My Mom was describing how she and my Father felt invisible while walking through a busy mall. She specifically singled out the younger generations and how they pretty much ignored my parents and walked right through them like they weren't even there or deserving of an "excuse me/pardon me".
This is not the first time she had mentioned this.
Now she could be more sensitive to this because she is a Senior and I assume that many Seniors of all generations say the same thing. "These kids these days have no respect".
But is there any truth to this? Have we raised an even more self-entitled, rude generation(s) or is this just youth?
I am in my mid-40s and live in a hipster area. I can see some age bias towards me as I have gray hair but I can't say it's excessive. I probably had some age bias myself when I was younger. But what I do notice is the bitchy/whiny (sp?) voices which absolutely drives me crazy. The Comedian, Louis C.K, did a very funny episode in his series, "Louie" describing this which was quite funny.
I agree with your mom, but I think it's because they haven't been taught respect. Their parents were afraid to hold them accountable for anything and as a result they're spoiled brats.
My husband, myself and a friend went bowling last weekend. We shared a lane with 5 people in their mid-20's. They sat on the eating table, almost knocking over our drinks, before I told them to stop doing that. They were also pushy and intrusive, and kept goofing around in their lane and pushing each other in to our's. The last straw was when 3 of them stood at the line talking and laughing, while we waited for them to move so we could bowl.
After they sat down, I told them that they were being rude and unruly, and there was "etiquette" for bowling. One being that you wait your turn if someone else it going to the line. The other is that you don't spill over in to other people's area. I reminded them that we were paying by the hour and they were interfering in OUR time. They looked at me with their mouths hanging open, shocked that their behavior was being questioned. One started to argue but I looked her in the eye and told her she was being rude, and to think about others for once. To their credit, they proceeded to behave perfectly, and had a great time, but "thought" about their behavior. As we were leaving, I thanked them for taking my complaint to heart and we appreciated the fact that they changed once we said something.
I honestly don't think many people hold that generation accountable for their behavior. These kids really didn't seem to think they should care about anyone but themselves. And they weren't young, dopey high schoolers. These were kids that should have known better.
The idea that older people need to earn respect, and aren't entitled to it just because of the number of their birthdays started with the youth revolution in the 60's, when the Boomers started coming of age; it's nothing new. I don't see the type of behavior the OP describes as being an age issue in terms of who's on the receiving end. Maybe her parents are from a place where the old defer-to-elders culture lasted longer than in other places. Most elders who are Boomers these days wouldn't view the matter as disrespect to elders. Most (including some on C-D forums) seem to take it as kids-will-be-kids.
Ive noticed that boomers are not expecting special treatment for getting older myself. They changed the rules and at least they are ok with the consequences regarding their own aging process. Folks older than boomers are the ones that are not happy with the level of respect they receive for being an "elder"
I find it rude when kids or adults I don't know call me by my first name during business interactions. From the cable company service department call center to making an appointment with a clerk for furniture delivery, it is the rule these days. What happened to the courtesy of calling elders and customers Mrs. or Mr. So and So?
As to older people being invisible, that has always been the case. I noticed it when I was in my 20s. There are some benefits to being older and I consider being invisible one of them. YMMV
I think it's more that we are taught to respect people by who they are and not simply because of their age...
How can you possibly know who a stranger "is" during a brief encounter? Also, what determines "who a person is?" Does some shallow, mindless actor/singer deserve more respect than an accomplished neurosurgeon just because you recognize the actor?
I'm a little concerned about all the political segmenting memes anymore where various political forces try to pit people against one another over gender, age, race, geography and a host of other categories.
I think it tends to make some people see things as us vs. them instead of maybe just having some differences of opinion on things.
That's a very good point. ^^^
FWIW, I see older people, people of all ages, really, being equally clueless in grocery stores. This happened just the other day when two friends were shopping together. They would routinely block aisles with both their carts, oblivious to other shoppers trying to get down the aisle. It was astonishing. A couple of people gave up on waiting for them to move, and pushed through them, saying "Excuse me, I can't get through". This wasn't happening because older people feel entitled and don't respect anyone younger, or for any other demography-related reason. I see no reason to read that into it.
So in view of this, I need to amend my earlier statement. This really isn't a generation-specific or age-specific behavior. It's a hallmark of thoughtless people in general, who get caught up in conversation with their friends, are wrapped up in their little bubble, and don't notice the rest of the world around them. It may be more common in teens, but it's present in most age groups.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 01-11-2016 at 02:10 PM..
I find it rude when kids or adults I don't know call me by my first name during business interactions. From the cable company service department call center to making an appointment with a clerk for furniture delivery, it is the rule these days. What happened to the courtesy of calling elders and customers Mrs. or Mr. So and So?
I've always wondered about this. When did it become store policy to address everyone by their first name? And why did that happen? There are a couple of businesses/stores in my town that at least call women "Miss" or "Ma'am" (no last name). That seems like a good compromise, if "Ms./Mrs. So-and-So" is too formal for some people to swallow.
And while I'm at it, GET OFF MY LAWN you crazy kids!
These kids parents never told their little geniuses NO. They fawn over anything they used to do and the little darlings are never wrong. My sister used to make the whole car be quiet because her daughter had something to say. Weird much? They grew up and are now parents but my sister has the honors of watched the new generation of little darlings. It all begins and ends with the parents. Good parenting skills are rare....
I've always wondered about this. When did it become store policy to address everyone by their first name? And why did that happen? There are a couple of businesses/stores in my town that at least call women "Miss" or "Ma'am" (no last name). That seems like a good compromise, if "Ms./Mrs. So-and-So" is too formal for some people to swallow.
And while I'm at it, GET OFF MY LAWN you crazy kids!
We had a recent thread in which people were offended when addressed as "Ma'am" and "Sir"! How can the store know how a particular individual prefers to be addressed?
Me? I have no problem being addressed by my first name and actually prefer it that way.
This rude 28 year old immediately ran over to an elderly lady who fell out of her car to help her up today. I should have walked by her to reinforce the stereotype.
Unfortunately, one thing that stroke me in the USA is very pronounced lack of respect to elders. But, I think there are two aspects to what OP posted.
1. lack of respect to elders
2. lack of absolutely basic respect to others and entitlement attitude in the street or walkways.
As of #1, it's very noticeable.
As of #2, as I am rather a large worked out man, I started simply standing in front of people that try to "walk through you" like as if you did not exist and path belongs to them. Then, suddenly, they "just notice" you and evade. I am tired of giving way to those to bluntly wonder on the wrong side or walk straight into you. It was really funny once, when I was in my son's high school and teenagers crowd was doing just that - plowing through people. So I stopped and stood still in path of one of them boys and he stopped maybe a foot in front of me, raised his gaze and yet still looked at me like I ow him the right of yield. He was VERY surprised when he finally realized that a) I am not going to budge and b) I am actually much bigger than he is. Was precious moment when he shrunk and passed me on the side.
But truly, they behave only the way they were permitted to. It's that sissy "tolerance" from everyone around that builds this attitude in their minds.
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