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Someone who is attracted to a girl who is obviously a child is a pedophile, and that is disgusting.
However, you can't really fault a man for looking at a 16-17-year-old girl who's all dolled up. Can he really tell the difference between her and an 18-year-old? Is there really a big difference between a girl who will be 18 in 3 months and someone who has been 18 for 3 days?
I have to say, though, that I'm skeeved out by men (or women) who actually date/have sex with people who are significantly younger than they are, particularly that are "close" to being underage, even if they are "technically" adults.
It is understandable why a man might find a 17-year-old attractive. She's got that youthful appearance. She hasn't had children or had her metabolism catch up to her yet, so she probably has a naturally fit figure. She doesn't have a ton of responsibilities, so she doesn't have the stressed-out tired look, and she has more time to play with makeup and hair to look her absolute best. Her parents are still giving her money and/or her money from her part-time job goes to things like tanning and nails and makeup and clothes instead of bills. He probably doesn't know off-gate that she's 17...just that she's young, developed and attractive.
However, as a 28-year-old, I can tell as soon as a person opens their mouth if they're underage or close to it. It's impossible to think that someone much older than I am can't tell the difference. My father is 51 years old, and I'd be skeeved out if he dated a woman in her late teens or 20s. If I were single, dating an 18-year-old...or even having an 18-year-old as a "hook up" would not be appealing to me at all.
Looking is one thing, acting is another. Plus, there comes a point where it certainly isn't considered "pedophilic" behavior but where I think it's still pretty gross.
A person isn't a pedophile unless he's acted on his urges.
I'm a woman, but I've lived long enough & have been observant enough to realize that it's pretty normal for men to be attracted to any healthy, vibrant-looking female with breasts. Of course most men are wise to hold back any comments or outward notice of females below 18 because they understand that under 18 = jail time.
The law exists to protect young people who may LOOK good, but mentally & emotionally & experientially, they're not compatible with adults. A solid line is drawn at 18. Just don't cross it. Adults need to play with adults. Leave the kids to play with each other.
Is a man a pedophile for being visually attracted to a blossomed young woman? Not necessarily. But if he ACTS on it, then yes he's legally a pedophile. Men know they are wise to just stay far, far away and not to even think about it.
And of course if any adults are attracted to pre-pubescent children, and men who are attracted to little boys, that's definitely reason to seek psychological counseling
That isn't correct a pedophile is an individual whose primary sexual attraction is pre-pubescent children once he or she has acted on those "urges" he or she is an offender.
I'm at least somewhat physically attracted to pretty much anything with boobs...even if she's 12. I don't feel like that's too abnormal...unless you're exclusively attracted to that age. I don't know why it would be, unless it's just social training that changes things. From the evolutionary perspective, it makes sense.
I feel like there's this widespread societal attempt to villainize that type of attraction...which makes sense for the following reason: It's an efficient way to discourage adult men from attempt to have sex with or hitting on 13-17 year olds...and a similar strategy can work for adults who are probably too young for older adult men. Just call them pedophiles and they'll be less likely to cruise the high schools for seniors. Cool. Whatever.
However, I sometimes feel like the focus is on the attraction rather than actions. If the body appears semi-adult, what's weird about having an attraction to it?
I feel there's a kind of adult code people need to learn when they hit 18 that goes: pedophile does not usually mean pedophile. It probably doesn't even mean ephebophilia. All it means is: Don't do anything that's going to get you thrown in jail, or that most people would perceive as disgusting, or that would get you shot by a parent.
I kind of like this video for that reason...because it steps away from what I'm guessing is the cultural propaganda sensibly used to defend our youth, but which I think seems unrealistic, by which I mean society's tendency to verbally condemn the mere physical attraction to post pubescent youth as abnormal.
I like facts. I like to understand humanity's true nature, ugly as it is. I don't like the constant stream of happy blather. Next, I want to see a video that argues that divorce is natural because parents are only biologically programmed to stick together for the fifteen or so years it takes to raise a child. Then I want to see another video about common, natural, sexual attractions between siblings. I don't know if any of that is true, but I just love that controversial stuff.
Alright...now I guess I have to go back to defending the dang children. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Everyone over 35 who has ever gawked at a 19 year old in a bikini is a pedophile. Cool. I watched about 15 minutes of the video.
I have always been opposite of most men i like older women matter of fact for some reason any female under 21 is a turn off i still look yes but i prefer them to be 30 and up.
Its annoying that these conversations always happen in the abstract.
Its as if people never want to discuss what REALLY happens when men are sexually attracted to younger girls. Its as if people are assuming that men don't often act upon those attractions when they do. For a LOT of men if they are attracted to 13-14-15 yr old girls and believe that they can get away with copping a feel or having full sexual intercourse then they will.
And for the poster who said that he would be attracted to a 12 yr old if she had boobs....girls have no control over how quickly or how much we develop. But a 12 yr who has the misfortune of developing larger breasts than the average girl at that age should not have to be thrust into navigating the world of unwanted sexual attention from men that she is emotionally and psychologically not capable of handling at that age.
There isn't enough consideration for the young girls in this discussion and that is concerning.
Its annoying that these conversations always happen in the abstract.
Its as if people never want to discuss what REALLY happens when men are sexually attracted to younger girls. Its as if people are assuming that men don't often act upon those attractions when they do. For a LOT of men if they are attracted to 13-14-15 yr old girls and believe that they can get away with copping a feel or having full sexual intercourse then they will.
And for the poster who said that he would be attracted to a 12 yr old if she had boobs....girls have no control over how quickly or how much we develop. But a 12 yr who has the misfortune of developing larger breasts than the average girl at that age should not have to be thrust into navigating the world of unwanted sexual attention from men that she is emotionally and psychologically not capable of handling at that age.
There isn't enough consideration for the young girls in this discussion and that is concerning.
The bolded is not based on fact and is an asinine conclusion of a confused, at best, individual.
100-150 years ago, one probably rarely heard of the word pedophilia.
It took awhile for the age of consent to be raised from 10 to 12 to 14 and to 16, in the 1930's
My great grandfathers, from today's perspective, were probably classifiable as Pedophiles.
I'm Gay, have always been attracted to older men. I thought, eventually, I'd outgrow it, and my attraction would do a U-turn along the way. And? I'm now 66, and if looking, my partner better be around my own age or older and well-seasoned.
I just don't get it!!! This attraction to younger people!
The Age of Consent, as in most states is 16. When I was 25 I met a beautiful 16 year old girl, it lasted 5 1/2 years. When I was 30, I met a bombshell of a 17 year old. It lasted 3 1/2 years.
Sure, some people didn't like it, mostly jealousy I suppose, but I/we did not care, I live my life for me, not others. I treated both girls well, not like playthings.
When I was 46 I married a 51 year old. Crazy world we live in.
Humans have evolved over the millennia, but perhaps not completely. Some basic instincts still bubble to the surface. Females of the species looked for powerful men to protect them and their children. Power can mean leadership of the pack, the most material wealth, or physical prowess. Males looked for nubile females of child-bearing age to better spread their seed among their race. They sought to dominate physically attractive specimens. Big hips and big breasts indicate an ability to give birth and nurture but small physique and youth both suggest submissiveness, another desired trait.
By now humans should have had enough evolution and education that those basic instincts do not have to be carried out in their basest form. But that doesn't always happen. The result can be crimes like pedophilia, rape, stalking, etc., perpetrated by men. Among females the result can be a desire to use men for what they can provide and often be very shifty and deceptive in how they achieve their goals, lacking access to power bases.
Acknowledging this doesn't make it right and is not an excuse for cruel and crude behavior, much of which our society has appropriately deemed illegal. Most of us are better than the messages we may still receive faintly from what Carl Jung called our collective unconscious.
I don't doubt that child molestation has been growing. Pornography, sex ed, the increasing sexualization of younger and younger children, the prevalence of sex in the media and all forms of entertainment and not least the decline of mens' roles as guardians of their families and the responsibility that grew from it and much more share the blame.
Last edited by Jeo123; 05-04-2016 at 10:07 AM..
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