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I have a question... Why do so many people HAVE children? It's as if you can't live without them or it just happens all by itself. I can think of so many more reasons NOT to have them than to HAVE them that I often wonder if it's just an inability to think for oneself or outside the box (or remember to take birth control) or if people actually believe they must do so; if so, for what reasons? It's just ridiculous.
If a person says they don't like a person of a certain race, he/she is a racist.
You don't like gays, you're a homophobe.
You don't like men or women, you're sexist.
But it's okay for someone to say they dislike or even hate children. I've never understood this.
In America which is supposed to have free speech, it should be all right to say you don't like any of those things you mentioned. But you have to be extremely sorry for people who don't like children. Children are our country's future.
I will like or not like anybody I please and I will say I like or don't like anybody I please because I am retired and cannot get fired for saying what I please anymore. Free speech in America is a thing of the past. It no longer exists when you can be fired for saying what you like or don't like.
I will like or not like anybody I please and I will say I like or don't like anybody I please because I am retired and cannot get fired for saying what I please anymore. Free speech in America is a thing of the past. It no longer exists when you can be fired for saying what you like or don't like.
It has never been the case in the US that a boss could not fire an employee for saying the wrong thing. Fifty years ago, if I said something my boss disapproved of, he could fire me on the spot.
The First Amendment applies to government, not to private businesses.
Even if children ARE "our country's future" (assuming our country has one), how does that translate to feeling personally sorry for those who don't choose to have any? Confused.
I have a rather vivid, childhood memory of a cousin directly informing me that she didn't like children. At the time I didn't understand it (being a child, obviously) but now I understand it, even if I don't see the purpose in announcing the fact directly to the child in question!
In any event, I was raised in a very conservative, Catholic environment where having tons of kids is both normal AND expected of most families. So, I always thought it strange that I tended to avoid kids as much as possible from the time I was a teenager until now. I wouldn't say that I dislike kids per se, but merely that I try to avoid them - the noise, smells, unpredictable behavior. I'd say the exact same thing for drunken adults, for much of the same reasons.
At this point, I am in a very small minority of my friends who are both married AND do not have children post-college. Right now the average is somewhere around 3 kids per friend, but certainly some are up to 5 or 6. So, in that sense, I've had plenty of chance as a casual observer to see the type of immense work and sacrifice that parenthood requires. And while earlier I may have said that I lack the maturity, perhaps now what I simply lack is the willpower and/or motivation? Whatever it is, I have gotten a lot of questions and just try to ignore or deflect them, as the 'childfree by choice' label seems to be interpreted as synonymous with 'selfish'.
I have a question... Why do so many people HAVE children? It's as if you can't live without them or it just happens all by itself. I can think of so many more reasons NOT to have them than to HAVE them that I often wonder if it's just an inability to think for oneself or outside the box (or remember to take birth control) or if people actually believe they must do so; if so, for what reasons? It's just ridiculous.
How does having children translate into "an inability to think for oneself or outside the box"?
For us it was more of a thought between us that it was time to have a child. It felt right. Almost spiritual if you ask me. On top of that is a belief system and teachings that all of us prior to coming here to Earth, were spirit children of a Heavenly Father, or God. We lived with God and wanted to be like him. He sent us here to ideally loving parents, although that does not always work out for everyone, still the idea is that a man and woman, married and starting a family, would want to bring some of these spirit children into the world and raise them in loving homes. With an understanding of that idea or belief system, being a parent is an honor. It is an honor to bring some of these Children of God into the world and teach them right from wrong, teach them how to be responsible adults, and allow them the same opportunity to start families of their own.
As I said before though, not that we as adults need to remain in that state. Kids grow up and we complete our jobs as parents. While it may have been challenging and fun at times, while we have a lot of both good and bad memories, it was an experience, and continues to be an experience that I would not trade for the world. To see a kid learn something new, ride a bike for the first time, get their drivers license, get that first real job, that is amazing.
Someone who dislikes children is someone who dislikes a particular phase of human development. Every single human who ever existed went through this phase. It's temporary; they'll literally grow out of it.
But the dislike of a particular race, ethnicity, nationality, or sexual identity is permanent. That someone has singled out a select group of humans and declared that they are hated. Forever.
"Whatever it is, I have gotten a lot of questions and just try to ignore or deflect them, as the 'childfree by choice' label seems to be interpreted as synonymous with 'selfish'."
Personally, I find many more "selfish" reasons cited to HAVE children than not have them, including (but not limited to) financial gain if on public assistance, an excuse to stay at home and not work, someone to keep you company, a caregiver in your old age, proof that you're "normal," a band-aid to keep a failing marriage together, too lazy to use BC responsibly, etc.
And yes, I realize that I don't speak for everyone; I am speaking for myself (but thanks, PM sender).
Last edited by otterhere; 07-06-2016 at 10:32 AM..
It has never been the case in the US that a boss could not fire an employee for saying the wrong thing. Fifty years ago, if I said something my boss disapproved of, he could fire me on the spot.
The First Amendment applies to government, not to private businesses.
The point I was making is that fifty years ago the norm was that "while I may not agree with what you are saying, I will defend your right to say it." Bosses and everyone else were more tolerant of free speech back then. I know that because I am 70 years old.
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