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Does anyone REALLY care what anyone does any more? We can all debate on whether we personally want to do it but it doesn't impact me what others do. But....part of that impact means no new tax breaks...in fact get rid of any tax break based on marital/relationship status.
It can and does work for some people just like marriage can and does work for some people. In all relationships there are problems.
I would not be interested in polyamory because I don't want to sleep with someone that is sleeping with someone else. Also, it seems to me that in any relationship one party is more attached than the other. My guess is that if you were to get truly honest answers from two people in a polyamorous relationship - one would prefer it be monogamous.
I realize that one person can't be 'everything' to another but I still don't want to share.
The more humans involved, the more complex it becomes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth
It has to take "very special" minds to want to be in poly relationships. Being with one is a full time pretty tough job.
A mistake there would be to assume the relationship dynamics and their difficulties would increase proportionally with extra people. All relationships are a challenge - but moving from 2 to 3 people does not mean all the difficulties and stresses of a relationship also increase 50%.
Quite the opposite can be true - and there is an "economies of scale" effect on many of the relationship issues where quite a lot of things simply become easier. Other things become harder. And in the end I think for many it simply balances out so a truple (as we lovingly call it) ends up no tougher a job than being in a couple.
Whether that trend continues - or differs - with the addition of subsequent people up to 4 - 5 - 10 - 50 I simply do not know however.
While I personally would not want to be in a polygamous marriage, I don't think there should be laws against it. We are supposed to have freedom to practice our religion, no matter what it is, so if your religion allows more than one spouse well then the government should keep their noses out of it.
Don't really care what people want to do, but no way should you be able to have multiple LEGAL marriages. Why not you say? Because then every spouse and their children would be entitled to SS survivor benefits. Now if the laws were changed that SS payments had to be divided equally between legal spouses/children then that's ok. If each additional legal spouse/child received an additional 100% benefit, you'd have SS being paid out multiple times for the same earner. I think we can agree that SS would sink even faster under that sort of thing.
Legally speaking, if the state has no right to dictate the genders involved in a marriage then the state has no right to dictate how many people can be in it either. We've already abandoned the traditional one man one women model of marriage.
Morally speaking it depends on the people involved. I don't think we're generally wired for such relationships, particularly for ones involving multiple men and one or more women. Women are generally more open to sharing a good man than men are regarding a good woman.
I use the qualifier "generally" for a reason though. Generally men are attracted to women and women to men but we all know there are exceptions to that. There are exceptions to everything, just about. If a group of exceptions happen to meet and are able to form a good relationship together, that's their business. I think more often than not you will find some people are enjoying the relationship while others feel pressured in to it because of a primary attraction to one member of the group, or because of insecurities. There are all sorts of ways those relationships could form in very unhealthy and exploitative ways. Same is true of traditional couples as well though.
I certainly hope such arrangements remain a fringe model and never go mainstream though. If we were all pressured in to such relationships from an early age I think there would be a lot of unhappy people and a lot of social instability. Even more than we have now, I mean.
Polygamy and polyamory are by far not the same.
Life long love to one person is a well marketed by society myth. There are reasons for that that may take pages and pages of fiery posts. But one who is true to their feelings, will likely agree with it.
Surely, there may be exclusions to this statement. Out of yey many people on earth, why not. But they are not THE RULE.
Polyamory is natural state. Love is not a limb attached to a body. It is an ever changing, fluctuating feeling. It is state of loving that can be as capricious as human mind. Besides, most of the time love is confused for affection. And affection is a VERY impermanent thing, but marriage came, laws enforced and so we go...
Don't really care what people want to do, but no way should you be able to have multiple LEGAL marriages. Why not you say? Because then every spouse and their children would be entitled to SS survivor benefits. Now if the laws were changed that SS payments had to be divided equally between legal spouses/children then that's ok. If each additional legal spouse/child received an additional 100% benefit, you'd have SS being paid out multiple times for the same earner. I think we can agree that SS would sink even faster under that sort of thing.
Maybe we should eliminate SS survivor benefit? Or maybe we shall make a total payout amount proportionally divided? Just because our current laws are written so, it does not mean they cannot (or should not) be changed. As Mr Huckabee correctly noticed once, even Constitution is not a Bible and can therefore be changed if needed.
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