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Old 08-09-2017, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Washington state
4,761 posts, read 2,362,869 times
Reputation: 13999

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
Do parents who beat their children feel good afterwards and get some deep satisfaction ...I often wonder..

In some cases lashing out and beating someone can actually feel good, almost in an orgasmic sense. I know because my father had a temper and would lash out all the time and I did the same thing in my early 20s when something unpleasant happened to me. When you're angry like that, you almost go into a trance and just strike out.

It wasn't until I realized one day that I was beating my dog like my father beat me. I quit cold and I haven't been truly angry since. I know if I lose my temper, what I will be like and I don't ever want to be like that again.

The dog, by the way, was fine and we had a long, happy partnership until he died but that's another story.

 
Old 08-09-2017, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
I don't know if you've duplicated a thread or not but it is the age old argument between parents: Those who spank and those who don't.

Those who don't spank think of those who do spank as child abusers. Those who do spank think those who don't spank raise Special Snowflakes.

It's a lose lose debate.

Too bad this wasn't in the parenting forum. It would have been really good.
Curses! I wasn't aware of the parenting forum. Would it be against the rules to post it there as well? I'm interested in reading as many opinions as possible.

*Edit: I reviewed the FAQ and found my answer. Hopefully I will receive as many helpful responses as I would've had I posted this in the parenting forum. So far, so good
 
Old 08-09-2017, 01:32 PM
 
6,267 posts, read 9,576,112 times
Reputation: 7556
Spare the rod, spoil the child still rings true 2,000 years later. If children knew a spanking awaited them from mom, dad, the teacher, the principle, and etc for their bad behavior, it would quell all of the problems we're seeing in schools now. Most children learn what's appropriate and respectful behavior from 1-10 and typically no longer need spankings past that. Alot of the time just the threat of a spanking is enough. But liberals, as usual, stuck their noses in where it didn't belong and not only ruined a world class Christian-based educational system but also the true authority of educators in the school system.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
19,249 posts, read 9,067,774 times
Reputation: 18600
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Spare the rod, spoil the child still rings true 2,000 years later. If children knew a spanking awaited them from mom, dad, the teacher, the principle, and etc for their bad behavior, it would quell all of the problems we're seeing in schools now. Most children learn what's appropriate and respectful behavior from 1-10 and typically no longer need spankings past that. Alot of the time just the threat of a spanking is enough. But liberals, as usual, stuck their noses in where it didn't belong and not only ruined a world class Christian-based educational system but also the true authority of educators in the school system.
Well, I'm a retired princiPAL, and I don't remember a time when I thought spanking was the best way to solve an issue with a student. And don't know many princiPALs who felt that spanking was appropriate.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
1,006 posts, read 444,705 times
Reputation: 2114
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Spare the rod, spoil the child still rings true 2,000 years later. If children knew a spanking awaited them from mom, dad, the teacher, the principle, and etc for their bad behavior, it would quell all of the problems we're seeing in schools now. Most children learn what's appropriate and respectful behavior from 1-10 and typically no longer need spankings past that. Alot of the time just the threat of a spanking is enough. But liberals, as usual, stuck their noses in where it didn't belong and not only ruined a world class Christian-based educational system but also the true authority of educators in the school system.
I am 60 years old and spankings were not allowed in schools in my state when I was a child. This is not some new "liberal" plot. I did not spank my daughter. I was not her friend. I was her parent. If she misbehaved, there were consequences and I followed through on those consequences. It never involved physical punishment. Was she spoiled because I didn't use "the rod"? My friends referred to her as the "dream child" because she was so well-behaved. I set high expectations and she rose to meet them. Hitting children is not necessary to enforce discipline. When I see children being hit, it is usually because a parent ignored the bad behavior until it becomes so extreme that the parent lashes out. Nip the bad behavior in the bud. Pay attention to your kids!
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:28 PM
 
13,060 posts, read 12,594,594 times
Reputation: 37551
If you're a lazy parent, sure go ahead and lay a hand on your kid. I've seen too many successful and well-raised children who were never hit to think it's a reasonable option. I don't hit my dogs and they have always been well-behaved, so I don't see how a remotely loving parent could lay a hand on their child.

The most undisciplined children I see are from parents I encounter who either use physical punishment or don't use any discipline at all. The ones who use physical punishment tend to argue that it's either that or no discipline at all, which is utter BS.

Further there are tons of empirical studies that find it is damaging to children to be physically disciplined. There are none that I'm aware of that have found it to be beneficial. Basically, from what I can tell there's less disagreement on this than there is on global warming.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:34 PM
 
419 posts, read 152,626 times
Reputation: 461
The lesson parents should teach their kids is, "Your body belongs to you and not to anyone else. Don't let people touch you in ways that you don't want them to." Spanking teaches the opposite lesson.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:40 PM
 
5,314 posts, read 3,070,756 times
Reputation: 18130
My dad spanked me once. Sorry to say I thought I deserved it, too. I don't remember that it hurt but I do remember the surprise that my dear dad would hit me.


I spanked my kids until my daughter was six. It was reserved for dangerous things like going in the street or putting things in the light socket. (True. Was that ever scary!)


Then I came to my senses and started thinking about my confusion that my dad would say he loved me and yet he hit me. And I was being told not to hit people. How nuts is that?


I realized that when I spanked my children the problem was mine. I was acting out of anger and fear and handling it by hitting them. When I figured that out I stopped. Discipline was done in our house in a normal tone of voice with both kids (who are adults now) and with our animals. We learned that you don't have to yell or hit if they aren't conditioned to keep the behavior up until you yell or hit.


DH was never spanked and never spanked our children. (I might add, only somewhat jokingly, that he doesn't have as much respect for the rules as I do either. Hmm.)
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Phila
441 posts, read 824,866 times
Reputation: 516
We got kids around here throwing rocks at cars and attacking people in broad daylight in gangs, shouting racial obscenities etc. They could probably use some kind of beating or bring back the stockades.

In all seriousness, ever kid is probably a different situation and households vary greatly. I was spanked, punished growing up, but didn't feel abused. In an ideal world positive reinforcement and building self esteem, work ethic, independent thinking would be a good start, but like all great plans, **** happens when the bullets start flying.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Phila
441 posts, read 824,866 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser View Post
In some cases lashing out and beating someone can actually feel good, almost in an orgasmic sense. I know because my father had a temper and would lash out all the time and I did the same thing in my early 20s when something unpleasant happened to me. When you're angry like that, you almost go into a trance and just strike out.

It wasn't until I realized one day that I was beating my dog like my father beat me. I quit cold and I haven't been truly angry since. I know if I lose my temper, what I will be like and I don't ever want to be like that again.

The dog, by the way, was fine and we had a long, happy partnership until he died but that's another story.
I made the same mistake, I hate to admit. Maybe it was something learned as a child. I had two dogs fall into my life, so I hadn't had the time to study/prepare how best to train them. I later learned how much easier positive reinforcement and reward treats made things than reacting after the fact. Dogs don't understand that. My lashing out was usually anger/hatred at myself for not preventing the crime proactively (going potty inside or eating something like q-tips that were left within reach).
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