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IMO, whippings work when you’re young, but later taking privileges works. I will say that while in high school, the shop teacher gave 2 swats with a paddle. First time 2, second 4, third 6, I decided not to find out the fourth.
It all depends on the kid and the age. Sometimes little ones are defiant, and need a spanking or a quick swat. My grown son tells me the worst we did was time out, sitting in a corner. Once they get a little older, taking away their cell phone might be best. It all depends on the age and the kid. But, as a parent, you always need to maintain their respect and parental authority. But when they leave, then they're on their own.
That isn't "discipline" - that is bullying, violence, and assault. There is no "reasonable" way to hit someone. Violence begins where knowledge ends. If the only way someone can get their children to act appropriately is to bully and threaten them with physical attacks for non-compliance, they seriously need parenting classes.
Totally agree...using violence on a chld is when an adult parent cant communicate with their child in such a way to explain right from wrong.. hitting a child is evil, cruel and not the way to teach a child how to become a responsible adult.. There is as you say NO reasonable way to hit a child... how can anyone even use that word in the same sentence..
WHAT?! Whippings????! Beatings?? Seriously? This isn't Dark Ages Europe. Nobody ties adults to a rack and pulls their limbs apart, or burns people at the stake anymore, either. A rare spanking, for something pretty egregious? Possibly. But WHIPPING??!!! Sounds like some people failed at parenting, if that's necessary.
How many people have heard the old saw about the Jesuits, who used to say, they only needed to have a child for the first 6 years of its life, in order to mold a good citizen. How you handle the first 6 years is crucial. They were right.
I saw a documentary some years back where a little boy was asked how it made him feel to be physically punished by his mother...
his response was
"It hurts me in my heart"
From the mouth of babes.....
But you could say the same thing about giving a child 'the look', or parents who let their child know that their disobedience has let their parents down.
Which is rather the point of it isn't it? To let children know that what they've done is not acceptable for one reason or another?
[And pretending that spanking isn't hitting serves only to make some parents who hit their children feel better about the fact that they hit their children]
I saw a documentary some years back where a little boy was asked how it made him feel to be physically punished by his mother...
his response was
"It hurts me in my heart"
From the mouth of babes.....
It hurts no matter how they discipline you. That's what punishment is for--to make sure you don't do it again. Whether it's a swat, a spanking, a removal of privileges, getting hollered at or spoken to harshly, it's not supposed to be enjoyable. For a young kid, too young to understand reason, that's about all you can do.
When they're older, you can sit down and reason with them. I have seen parents in a store sit their very little kid down and try to reason with them--toddlers--the kid doesn't even understand. They need to hear a stern voice or get a little swat. That's what they understand before they have a great understanding of language and a sense of reason.
It hurts no matter how they discipline you. That's what punishment is for--to make sure you don't do it again. Whether it's a swat, a spanking, a removal of privileges, getting hollered at or spoken to harshly, it's not supposed to be enjoyable. For a young kid, too young to understand reason, that's about all you can do.
When they're older, you can sit down and reason with them. I have seen parents in a store sit their very little kid down and try to reason with them--toddlers--the kid doesn't even understand. They need to hear a stern voice or get a little swat. That's what they understand before they have a great understanding of language and a sense of reason.
You miss the point. Spanking or hitting a child on purpose, is quite different than punishing by taking away privileges.
It hurts me in my heart...means a little boy has psychic pain. Feels he is inherently bad. Doesn't understand that the parent might just want to punish for one act by the child but might question how a parent he loves can physically harm him at the same time. It's confusing and demeaning. It breaks the trust bond between parent and child.
This is where the views of psychologist and psychiatrists come from....why they don't recommend such violence against innocent small children.
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Sounds like some people failed at parenting, if that's necessary.
