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Old 08-10-2017, 02:25 AM
 
Location: Washington state
4,761 posts, read 2,362,869 times
Reputation: 13999

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
spanking for one parent is totally different to another but they seem to think its ok.... and its not. do you know how it affects a child mentally to be abused especially in public.. its humiliating and cruel.. and only serves to get the parents venom out on that child... abuse and only abuse.
This is what I mean when I say you shouldn't be angry if you are going to smack a child. You can sound angry, just don't BE angry. That alone makes a world of difference.

And kids are totally different. I was the stubbornest child ever and I would have tested the patience of a saint. My brothers were complete angels growing up. Who can figure? Like I said, some kids don't ever need to get swatted. Other kids will challenge you every day they're alive and if you don't step up to the plate and assert yourself some way, that's the kid that will be running the household.

The other thing you have to remember is that while you may personally not believe in swatting a child who misbehaves, if you have the kind of child who really needs it, eventually he's going to go from challenging you to challenging the law and all other authority. Then he will be disciplined and not in a good way.

 
Old 08-10-2017, 02:37 AM
 
Location: Washington state
4,761 posts, read 2,362,869 times
Reputation: 13999
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Spare the rod, spoil the child still rings true 2,000 years later. If children knew a spanking awaited them from mom, dad, the teacher, the principle, and etc for their bad behavior, it would quell all of the problems we're seeing in schools now. Most children learn what's appropriate and respectful behavior from 1-10 and typically no longer need spankings past that. Alot of the time just the threat of a spanking is enough. But liberals, as usual, stuck their noses in where it didn't belong and not only ruined a world class Christian-based educational system but also the true authority of educators in the school system.
I am liberal and I do believe in swatting a child that needs it.

As for ruining a "Christian-based educational system", please. Christian education belongs to Sundays and sermons. Learning belongs to schools and teachers and it's the parents who have the job of making their children behave in both settings. I would discipline my own child with a swat if necessary, but if you made the mistake of doing the same thing, you'd live to regret the day.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 02:50 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,560 posts, read 11,645,504 times
Reputation: 21077
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser View Post
This is what I mean when I say you shouldn't be angry if you are going to smack a child. You can sound angry, just don't BE angry. That alone makes a world of difference.

And kids are totally different. I was the stubbornest child ever and I would have tested the patience of a saint. My brothers were complete angels growing up. Who can figure? Like I said, some kids don't ever need to get swatted. Other kids will challenge you every day they're alive and if you don't step up to the plate and assert yourself some way, that's the kid that will be running the household.

The other thing you have to remember is that while you may personally not believe in swatting a child who misbehaves, if you have the kind of child who really needs it, eventually he's going to go from challenging you to challenging the law and all other authority. Then he will be disciplined and not in a good way.
a child that really needs it....so what made this child into the little monster he might be....I know that some children can take it out on a parent.. especially a parent with many children and worries.. but keeping a child in away from friends or taking away computers etc solves problems more than hitting ever does.. When my own kids were young, I also did things wrong.. I admit to that.. I shouted a lot which can be bad to for children so I to got it wrong..but Ive seen a parent hit a child for nothing , just because things werent going their way, maybe stress, worries.. but small people arent just there for our convenience to hit out at like a punchball.. I was standing behind a mother in a supermarket who had hold of her daughters hair, a girl about seven... and I knew by the girls reaction that the mother was twisting her hair.. the girls face was red and she was staring up at the mother...plainly terrified.... but there was nothing to prove. no marks on the girl but she was still inflicting pain on the child. why are some parents so cruel and perverted, or were they treated the same ......
 
Old 08-10-2017, 03:00 AM
 
1,623 posts, read 708,083 times
Reputation: 2720
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
a child that really needs it....so what made this child into the little monster he might be....I know that some children can take it out on a parent.. especially a parent with many children and worries.. but keeping a child in away from friends or taking away computers etc solves problems more than hitting ever does.. When my own kids were young, I also did things wrong.. I admit to that.. I shouted a lot which can be bad to for children so I to got it wrong..but Ive seen a parent hit a child for nothing , just because things werent going their way, maybe stress, worries.. but small people arent just there for our convenience to hit out at like a punchball.. I was standing behind a mother in a supermarket who had hold of her daughters hair, a girl about seven... and I knew by the girls reaction that the mother was twisting her hair.. the girls face was red and she was staring up at the mother...plainly terrified.... but there was nothing to prove. no marks on the girl but she was still inflicting pain on the child. why are some parents so cruel and perverted, or were they treated the same ......
Your examples have nothing to do with "discipline" and more to do with just a parent taking their frustrations out in their child (abuse). You are generalizing spankings and whoopings into that hence your disapproval for it.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,219 posts, read 3,714,408 times
Reputation: 13752
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
Hitting a child is a crime..its bullying at its worst level.. To hit a child for any reason is the parent out of control, who thinks to hurt is the way to resolve an issue.. its not, it only causes hatred and resentment and that child then or can become a bully to other children and animals.. Ive said this before on here..... what would happen if you hit a stranger on the street who annoyed you..... you would be arrested.. but to even think of beating someone you are supposed to love is beyond me.... Do parents who beat their children feel good afterwards and get some deep satisfaction ...I often wonder..
Listen, a small spank on the bottom wizens many kids up and only hurts their feelings. No, you get no satisfaction, just positive results.

We spanked our boys (NO beating) and gave them time outs. They are now 29 and 32. They don't "hate" and they don't "resent" us at ALL. We are not only their parents, we are good friends. They come for supper at our house often, we camp with them, go out to restaurants with them and spend holidays with them and their spouses.

They aren't bullies and they both own or have owned animals that they LOVE/D and treat/treated only with kindness (cats and dogs, rabbits, a wild raccoon saved as a baby at the edge of a rural road)

Last edited by gouligann; 08-10-2017 at 06:01 AM..
 
Old 08-10-2017, 06:49 AM
Status: ""Undeclared"" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
6,956 posts, read 2,628,095 times
Reputation: 12930
Quote:
Originally Posted by mpier015 View Post
Is there a difference between spankings, beatings and whippings? If so, what would you say is the difference. I have always been under the impression that they were looked at as synonyms or that different parts of the country used different words for the same actions.
You know there is or you wouldn't have worded the topic the way you did. I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't an ulterior motive to this thread. It would seem to me that anyone who tried to use the words interchangeably either doesn't know how to use words correctly or doesn't know how to use them honestly.


To answer your original question, even though I suspect it was a set up of some sort:


Whippings, no.
Beatings, no.
Spankings, yes.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,946 posts, read 9,876,452 times
Reputation: 34899
Ask 100 people this question and you will get 100 different opinions. My two sons are now 46, and we did spank......not so much mom, but I was the disciplinarian in the family most times. Did I ever feel great about doing it .........NO, but I was spanked as a kid and I was not mentally damaged by it, and understood why I was being punished.

Every day, I see parents who have NO CONTROL over their kids, or who don't love them enough to try to teach them discipline. Kids are smart and will push the boundaries as far as they can, and when you give them a little swat on the behind, it lets them know they have reached that boundary. I rarely had to speak twice because they saw that mean daddy look and knew what might be coming next.

Both of mine have turned out to be honest, hardworking, well liked human beings, who love me as much as I love them. We sit around having a beer sometimes, and they laugh about the times I would catch them doing something and give them that little love tap on the behind. So, I say spank yes, but never beat or whip.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
You know there is or you wouldn't have worded the topic the way you did. I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't an ulterior motive to this thread. It would seem to me that anyone who tried to use the words interchangeably either doesn't know how to use words correctly or doesn't know how to use them honestly.


To answer your original question, even though I suspect it was a set up of some sort:


Whippings, no.
Beatings, no.
Spankings, yes.
I explained this earlier in the thread. In my family the words were used very much interchangeably. I worded the title this way because I wasn't sure which word the most amount of people used, so I used all of them. As explained earlier, the words were used as synonyms in my family and could vary in severity according to the behavior that was being corrected. My family has southern roots and the older members use the words whippings and beatings. My parents would use the words whippings and spankings. I am African American so maybe the use of the different words is a cultural thing.

Once the thread started to gain more traction I quickly realized that this was not a popular view, which is why I asked for clarification. If you check my posting history you will see that I have created very few threads and have never posted in order to achieve some sort of agenda or ulterior motive. I have been pretty transparent and try to use this site the way it is intended to be used. I'm not sure what type of "set up" you were expecting but you wont find it here, at least not from me. If you feel this way then it is perfectly reasonable to pass the thread on by...

I am at the point of starting a family of my own and was recently asked my views on spankings. I didn't know how to answer because I was physically disciplined as a child and I do not view it as abuse. At the same time, I am not sure that the physical discipline is what steered me in the right direction. This is why I posed the question. I am the type of person who enjoys hearing views that may differ from my own. I realize that this is rare in the world of city data...
 
Old 08-10-2017, 07:25 AM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
385 posts, read 184,056 times
Reputation: 1625
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncole1 View Post
Also, strangers in public places should stop being so anti-child. If a 7-year-old is rude or inappropriate to you, don't look to the kid's parents. Children are people like you and me. Just ask the kid, directly, to please stop doing whatever it is, in exactly the same way as you would ask an adult who did the same thing.

The kid will understand you just fine. There is no need to go through parents as a mediator.
My daughter tried that once. We were atthe pool, and this one little boy kept screaming in my ear while he was splashing around. I am very sensitive to noise, so my adult daughter asked him to please stop yelling in my ear. Well, his mother heard this and went ballistic. She started yelling "Don't tell my kids what to do", and this started a screaming contest between her and my husband. It was ugly.

I don't think it is a good idea for anyone to tell someone else's "special snowflake" what to do unless they are putting themselves in danger. These days, parents seem to think it's cute when their kids are out of control, disruptive or destructive.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 07:44 AM
 
1,960 posts, read 1,182,037 times
Reputation: 9288
People should learn how to parent instead of resorting to knee-jerk reactions. A smack in anger is abusive.

Planned spankings as a punishment make sense, I guess, if you also agree with whipping criminals or slapping people who insult you at work or elsewhere.

I was spanked. Didn't cause any weird complexes. My kids got a few diaper-padded swats when they did something egregiously wrong and dangerous. They're fine.

But parenting is about teaching people how to behave, not just how to not behave. Kids have to learn WHY a behavior is not wanted and adjust themselves rather than just, "I better not do that (or get caught doing that) or Mom's gonna spank me!"


As an aside... I hate the phrase, "Spare the rod, spoil the child" used to support beating children. In the 23 Psalm, it says, "His rod and his staff comfort me" speaking about Jesus as a shepherd... which is a common theme I remember from my long-ago Sunday school days growing up. If anyone knows anything about shepherds, they carry rod or staff to protect and guide the sheep, not to beat them with.

Why not use that meaning? Guide your children or they'll be spoiled. Makes sense to me as a non-Christian. Otherwise wouldn't it mean to beat your kids with a shepherd's staff? I don't see anyone advocating that (hopefully).
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