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Old 08-10-2017, 09:05 AM
 
2,834 posts, read 1,257,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mpier015 View Post
Do you think that disciplining children should include some sort of physical punishment? I grew up in a family with parents and grandparents rooted in old school southern morals. The saying that I heard a lot growing up was "spare the rod and spoil the child". I was a well behaved child for the most part but still received my fair share of 'whippings'. Whippings were not the only form of punishment used and I do not feel as though I was abused...I actually think I learned a lot from my upbringing. However, now that I am at the point of starting a family of my own, I am not quite sure how I feel about the subject.

So, what do you guys think? Is it acceptable to physically discipline your children in a reasonable manner or is this type of punishment completely archaic and off limits? If you do not discipline your children physically what are the best ways to correct poor behavior? Lets debate...
I am a millennial . I had it when I was a child and have it even after I had a child

But it helps build discipline and focus in the long run.

 
Old 08-10-2017, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,560 posts, read 11,645,504 times
Reputation: 21077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remington Steel View Post
Your examples have nothing to do with "discipline" and more to do with just a parent taking their frustrations out in their child (abuse). You are generalizing spankings and whoopings into that hence your disapproval for it.
we dont use the word Whooping over here , can you define for me what the word means as to spankings..isnt striking a defenceless child taking out a parents frustration... its abuse..whatever you try to call it...Can I ask what feeling do people get after hitting a child... is it a feeling of satisfaction, sadness or what..
 
Old 08-10-2017, 09:36 AM
Status: ""Undeclared"" (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
6,956 posts, read 2,628,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
we dont use the word Whooping over here , can you define for me what the word means as to spankings..isnt striking a defenceless child taking out a parents frustration... its abuse..whatever you try to call it...Can I ask what feeling do people get after hitting a child... is it a feeling of satisfaction, sadness or what..
I get a feeling of immense strength and pride after hitting my children...anyone's children really. Afterwards I'll often take my shirt off and pace back and forth in my front yard flexing my muscles like Wolverine and challenging any man woman or child who walks by to a fight.


Really, what kind of answer are you expecting?
 
Old 08-10-2017, 09:40 AM
 
15,220 posts, read 16,171,314 times
Reputation: 25210
I've always thought it peculiar that if an adult hits another adult, it's assault. And if a child hits another child, it's assault, or at the very least the child who has been struck is perceived as the victim and the child who hit is perceived as a bully. But when a parent strikes a child many people see it as a form of love, or at the very least, some sort of education. It seems inconsistent.

Also, the argument that a two-year-old who darts into traffic needs a spanking is also odd. It's the adult in that situation who failed--not the child.

My daughter is a young adult. I spanked her a couple of times when she was a toddler, and every single time it was because I was angry and frustrated. And the spankings did nothing to make the situation better.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 10:09 AM
 
1,623 posts, read 708,083 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
we dont use the word Whooping over here , can you define for me what the word means as to spankings..isnt striking a defenceless child taking out a parents frustration... its abuse..whatever you try to call it...Can I ask what feeling do people get after hitting a child... is it a feeling of satisfaction, sadness or what..
Whooping is the same as spanking. Not as dramatic as "beating". Don't know where it originated, but is used primarily by the "older southern crowd".
 
Old 08-10-2017, 10:11 AM
 
Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
9,612 posts, read 20,566,709 times
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I believe society functioned better when children were raised to become adults with lots of chores and corporal punishment. Since we started raising kids to have 18 years of Disneyworld at home American students are now falling way behind the children of immigrants whose parents use old school child rearing methods.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remington Steel View Post
Whooping is the same as spanking. Not as dramatic as "beating". Don't know where it originated, but is used primarily by the "older southern crowd".
This is exactly what I was trying to get across. In my family these words are interchangeable. My family is very much rooted in old school, southern ways.
 
Old 08-10-2017, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,560 posts, read 11,645,504 times
Reputation: 21077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
I get a feeling of immense strength and pride after hitting my children...anyone's children really. Afterwards I'll often take my shirt off and pace back and forth in my front yard flexing my muscles like Wolverine and challenging any man woman or child who walks by to a fight.


Really, what kind of answer are you expecting?
I wonder Uncle Bully
 
Old 08-10-2017, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,560 posts, read 11,645,504 times
Reputation: 21077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remington Steel View Post
Whooping is the same as spanking. Not as dramatic as "beating". Don't know where it originated, but is used primarily by the "older southern crowd".
Thanks RS Here in Scotland it used to be Leather or Leathering, so I take it that meant hit with a belt.. we all have our own words for this. Another word used here for hitting is a tanking.. hell knows where that one came from..
 
Old 08-10-2017, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Washington state
4,761 posts, read 2,362,869 times
Reputation: 13999
Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzybint View Post
a child that really needs it....so what made this child into the little monster he might be....I know that some children can take it out on a parent.. especially a parent with many children and worries.. but keeping a child in away from friends or taking away computers etc solves problems more than hitting ever does.. When my own kids were young, I also did things wrong.. I admit to that.. I shouted a lot which can be bad to for children so I to got it wrong..but Ive seen a parent hit a child for nothing , just because things werent going their way, maybe stress, worries.. but small people arent just there for our convenience to hit out at like a punchball.. I was standing behind a mother in a supermarket who had hold of her daughters hair, a girl about seven... and I knew by the girls reaction that the mother was twisting her hair.. the girls face was red and she was staring up at the mother...plainly terrified.... but there was nothing to prove. no marks on the girl but she was still inflicting pain on the child. why are some parents so cruel and perverted, or were they treated the same ......
That's your problem right there. A child who challenges his parents and pushes the limit constantly is not a "little monster".

Those children are usually the brightest and most curious children you see, BUT they have to have that energy directed. And nothing "makes" these kids that way. Kids are born that way, just like some are born quiet and gentle. But the child who dares anything is also likely to be the one to get into trouble more often and sometimes needs a little more than a talking to to get him to pay attention.

And if you understood my posts, you'd know I was in no way recommending doing the things you're talking about above. As I've said over and over, there is a HUGE difference between a deliberate swat from a parent who's trying to get control over his/her child and that same parent being upset or angry and taking that anger out on a child by physically hurting them somehow. The minute you've struck your kid in anger is the minute you lose.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
I've always thought it peculiar that if an adult hits another adult, it's assault. And if a child hits another child, it's assault, or at the very least the child who has been struck is perceived as the victim and the child who hit is perceived as a bully. But when a parent strikes a child many people see it as a form of love, or at the very least, some sort of education. It seems inconsistent.

Also, the argument that a two-year-old who darts into traffic needs a spanking is also odd. It's the adult in that situation who failed--not the child.

My daughter is a young adult. I spanked her a couple of times when she was a toddler, and every single time it was because I was angry and frustrated. And the spankings did nothing to make the situation better.
The argument about the child darting out into traffic was mine. Here's how I perceive it: a child has to learn a couple of things to be safe when he's younger. One is to learn the word no and the other is to stay close to his parents (if possible). I don't expect a two or three year old to understand all the dangers of the road or the danger of running off at that age. So it's not exactly a parental failure.

But reinforcing no with a swat if the child does run off into traffic is helping you possibly save the life of your child and also limiting the number of times you have to yank him back to you. I'd prefer to bring him back with a no and a swat five or six times (or preferably less) if I have to instead of without the swat and just bringing him back with just a 'no' about 20 times. Your luck only extends so far before the one time you can't get him back quickly enough.

But I also want to say, again, children are very different. Some will never take off. Some will learn the first or second time you tell them. Some won't learn till they're 12 years old. It depends on what the particular nature of your child is.

You can't fit all children to just one way of discipline. You have to fit the discipline to each child and children can have different temperaments even in the same family.

And for the record, if I did have a child I knew who took off at the drop of a hat, I'd have him on a child leash. But of course, that's an entirely different topic and I'd probably get a lot of backlash because of how I'd use the child leash, too.
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