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Old 08-09-2017, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640

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Do you think that disciplining children should include some sort of physical punishment? I grew up in a family with parents and grandparents rooted in old school southern morals. The saying that I heard a lot growing up was "spare the rod and spoil the child". I was a well behaved child for the most part but still received my fair share of 'whippings'. Whippings were not the only form of punishment used and I do not feel as though I was abused...I actually think I learned a lot from my upbringing. However, now that I am at the point of starting a family of my own, I am not quite sure how I feel about the subject.

So, what do you guys think? Is it acceptable to physically discipline your children in a reasonable manner or is this type of punishment completely archaic and off limits? If you do not discipline your children physically what are the best ways to correct poor behavior? Lets debate...

Last edited by mpier015; 08-09-2017 at 12:24 PM..

 
Old 08-09-2017, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Southern California
19,404 posts, read 6,416,082 times
Reputation: 13091
NO, beatings, hitting etc WHO wants to be hit? I was a well behaved child too, very well behaved and my dad didn't spare his rod....

I was married to a man who would NEVER lay hands on our daughter. He was very patient in many many ways. Our daughter was a good girl but did things I would have never done in my days.

Children grow up and hit each other and then go off to wars and hit and kill more.

Take away their computer toys, that is a big punishment.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 11:30 AM
 
12,411 posts, read 9,305,741 times
Reputation: 8869
Quote:
Originally Posted by mpier015 View Post
Do you think that disciplining children should include some sort of physical punishment? I grew up in a family with parents and grandparents rooted in old school southern morals. The saying that I heard a lot growing up was "spare the rod and spoil the child". I was a well behaved child for the most part but still received my fair share of 'whippings'. Whippings were not the only form of punishment used and I do not feel as though I was abused...I actually think I learned a lot from my upbringing. However, now that I am at the point of starting a family of my own, I am not quite sure how I feel about the subject.

So, what do you guys think? Is it acceptable to physically discipline your children in a reasonable manner or is this type of punishment completely archaic and off limits? If you do not discipline your children physically what are the best ways to correct poor behavior? Lets argue...
No, natural consequences are much better. If you use physical punishment on children, this makes you "the bad guy". From a kid's perspective, it is not a consequence of their actions, rather, it is you, the parent, being a narcissistic, overcontrolling boss that cannot negotiate and uses physical force instead.

Hitting by any other name is still hitting.

Everybody, adults and children alike, needs to see how actions relate to consequences. And "consequences" does not mean "punishment". It means "the natural result of an action". For example, the consequence for a child who pesters someone and is rude is that the child gets shunned by that person or asked to leave.

If you don't allow children to experience natural consequences, then again you are the "bad guy", because the child sees nothing really wrong about the act aside from the fact that you don't allow it.

If you think a 6-year-old can't sense that you are imposing something on them by authoritarian fiat, or if you think children don't need to know the real reason something is wrong, you are mistaken.

Obviously you can't allow a 2-year-old to drink a bottle of cough medicine to teach them about "natural consequences", but you certainly can allow children to express their opinions, and talk to them with the recognition that they are free to believe you are mistaken about something and are free to express their opinion just as an adult is. "Talking back" should NEVER be grounds for punishment. The freedom of speech and the freedom of thought are available to all ages.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 11:45 AM
 
12,411 posts, read 9,305,741 times
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Also, strangers in public places should stop being so anti-child. If a 7-year-old is rude or inappropriate to you, don't look to the kid's parents. Children are people like you and me. Just ask the kid, directly, to please stop doing whatever it is, in exactly the same way as you would ask an adult who did the same thing.

The kid will understand you just fine. There is no need to go through parents as a mediator.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Southern California
19,404 posts, read 6,416,082 times
Reputation: 13091
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncole1 View Post
Also, strangers in public places should stop being so anti-child. If a 7-year-old is rude or inappropriate to you, don't look to the kid's parents. Children are people like you and me. Just ask the kid, directly, to please stop doing whatever it is, in exactly the same way as you would ask an adult who did the same thing.

The kid will understand you just fine. There is no need to go through parents as a mediator.
Boy, I agree on that one. In a public place, talk to the child directly and tell them to stop what they are doing etc. They will get it from a stranger, from the parent they just push more and more.

Some probably worry about the parents not liking what you say to their child, but that is the way to get things corrected. Go to the source.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
19,249 posts, read 9,067,774 times
Reputation: 18600
To the OP...the point in this part of the forum is not to argue. It's to debate. There's enough unpleasantness.

Whippings? No.
Beatings? No.
Controlled spankings. On occasion.

But I was a school teacher and principal, and we NEVER resorted to physical punishment. While an occasional controlled spanking may be called for by a parent, a wise and intelligent parent doesn't usually need to resort to even that.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by phetaroi View Post
To the OP...the point in this part of the forum is not to argue. It's to debate. There's enough unpleasantness.

Whippings? No.
Beatings? No.
Controlled spankings. On occasion.

But I was a school teacher and principal, and we NEVER resorted to physical punishment. While an occasional controlled spanking may be called for by a parent, a wise and intelligent parent doesn't usually need to resort to even that.
I was being facetious
 
Old 08-09-2017, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
434 posts, read 251,289 times
Reputation: 640
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
Boy, I agree on that one. In a public place, talk to the child directly and tell them to stop what they are doing etc. They will get it from a stranger, from the parent they just push more and more.

Some probably worry about the parents not liking what you say to their child, but that is the way to get things corrected. Go to the source.
That would be my main concern, honestly. Some people, rightfully so, are really protective over any and everything when it comes to their children.
 
Old 08-09-2017, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
19,249 posts, read 9,067,774 times
Reputation: 18600
Quote:
Originally Posted by mpier015 View Post
That would be my main concern, honestly. Some people, rightfully so, are really protective over any and everything when it comes to their children.
Reminds me of one day in the supermarket. You know how sometimes it turns out that you sort of meet up with the same people aisle after aisle. Well, this particular day there was a mother with a little girl sitting in the cart seat. Cute kid. As people would pass her they would say "hi there" or "hello", etc. And each time the little girl would yell, "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" Finally I walked past the mother and girl, and the girl said, loudly, "Hi!". I said loudly, "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" If the mother's looks could have killed, I would have died in the snack aisle.

Last edited by phetaroi; 08-09-2017 at 12:59 PM..
 
Old 08-09-2017, 12:32 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,826,301 times
Reputation: 41007
Some kids do well with being put in a time-out. Some kids do not. My grandson is one of those. He definitely straightens up with a quick swat on the rear end.
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