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Old 10-21-2018, 09:19 AM
 
3,961 posts, read 1,590,532 times
Reputation: 12349

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
Well, they don't end in divorce. Is that supposed to be the same thing?
In any other context a 50% "success" rate is pretty weak odds.

So... Succeed in continuing to exist? Maintaining their status quo? Inertia?
Now consider the role of medical advancement and legal encumbrance.

Sure the math is clear enough about what the effect of all this is on the numbers.
Do you really think that addresses the point of (the poorly phrased) OP topic question?
I don't.

For someone who uses the word Rational in his moniker, you seem to have a blind spot here. And moving the goalposts isn't really fooling anyone.

It began with a simple question: Is a lifelong commitment/contract realistic? Since a majority of marriages do indeed end up being lifelong, the answer is a pretty simple 'Yes.'

Undaunted by the statistics, you're now trying to move the debate into the question of happiness and fulfillment. It's an interesting sleight of hand, but it doesn't answer the original question.
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Old 10-21-2018, 09:27 AM
 
9,834 posts, read 5,715,842 times
Reputation: 9736
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
For someone who uses the word Rational in his moniker, you seem to have a blind spot here. And moving the goalposts isn't really fooling anyone.

It began with a simple question: Is a lifelong commitment/contract realistic? Since a majority of marriages do indeed end up being lifelong, the answer is a pretty simple 'Yes.'

Undaunted by the statistics, you're now trying to move the debate into the question of happiness and fulfillment. It's an interesting sleight of hand, but it doesn't answer the original question.
Yes the 50-60% success is significant. Thus it is realistic.
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Old 10-21-2018, 09:55 AM
 
Location: NC
1,777 posts, read 858,251 times
Reputation: 4133
Of course it's realistic. Is it easy? Not all the time. My first marriage ended in divorce after 4 years. It was a miserable 4 years for me.

I've been married to my second husband for 26 years, have lived with him for 28 years. Both parties need to be committed to it. There are ups and downs and times that we are happier and times that we seem to be off sync. But it always comes back to the fact that we love each other and can't imagine not sharing our lives. We've grown and matured over those years (I was 25 when we got married, he was 32) and we've done that together.
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Old 10-21-2018, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Billings, MT
8,988 posts, read 7,076,226 times
Reputation: 12447
Some animals mate for life.
If it is good enough for Canada geese, it is good enough for me.


By the way, they say "The third time is the charm!" For me, that is true. First marriage: 4 years, then she left me. Second marriage: 13 years, and she went crazy. I had to leave or kill her. Third marriage: Over 30 years, and still working fine.
Yep, third time's the charm!
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Old 10-21-2018, 10:09 AM
 
9,834 posts, read 5,715,842 times
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People don't fundamentally change. They do sometimes play a role and pretend to be something they are not. Unfortunately too many people have selfish reasons for wanting to be married. Marriage is not a game and should not be treated as such. It requires compromise, communication and honesty. If you can't do that don't bother.
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Old 10-21-2018, 10:10 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,831 posts, read 57,830,396 times
Reputation: 29215
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
For someone who uses the word Rational in his moniker...
You don't know that story. Ex gave me the nick.

Quote:
It began with a simple question: Is a lifelong commitment/contract realistic?
Since a majority of marriages do indeed end up being lifelong, the answer is a pretty simple 'Yes.'
Simple answer to the poorly phrased question.
This pablum level where you want to maintain this 'great debate' isn't the issue.

Quote:
...you're now trying to move the debate into the question of happiness and fulfillment.
It's an interesting sleight of hand, but it doesn't answer the original question.
Most threads need a "sleight of hand" to get down to the real issue.
Absent "happiness and fulfillment" as you phrase it... describes what share of the continuing marriages?
If just 3%... then the rest of those numbers and the point you cling to crumble.


Keep trying. Look deeper.
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Old 10-21-2018, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,376 posts, read 2,424,586 times
Reputation: 7735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eumaois View Post
At least with divorces, a mother-in-law isn't as much of an issue anymore until you re-marry.
You would marry your mother-in-law?
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Old 10-21-2018, 11:54 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,640 posts, read 64,111,757 times
Reputation: 68376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
For someone who uses the word Rational in his moniker, you seem to have a blind spot here. And moving the goalposts isn't really fooling anyone.

It began with a simple question: Is a lifelong commitment/contract realistic? Since a majority of marriages do indeed end up being lifelong, the answer is a pretty simple 'Yes.'

Undaunted by the statistics, you're now trying to move the debate into the question of happiness and fulfillment. It's an interesting sleight of hand, but it doesn't answer the original question.
Agree. It's realistic for the majority of people (only 40% of first marriages end in divorce). Still, I'm kind of intrigued by the OP's suggestion of having the "contract" renewable every 20 years or so. Couples could celebrate that milestone. Or is that a bad idea? Would couples, who happen to go through rough times near the end of the first contract period, simply give up, and say, "oh well, it's ending anyway, let's call it quits"?
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:11 PM
 
26,867 posts, read 38,123,724 times
Reputation: 34808
46 years says yes.
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Old 10-21-2018, 12:59 PM
 
2,209 posts, read 4,397,515 times
Reputation: 4857
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retired in Illinois View Post
I've known my wife for well over 50 yrs. We've been married for 53 yrs. So yes marriage can last a lifetime.
That wasn't the question. The question was whether it's *realistic*, and given the high divorce rate, not to mention the number of unhappily married couples, the answer is clearly no.

Maybe when life expectancy was much shorter it might have been.
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