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Old 09-27-2008, 08:48 PM
Status: "Bountiful pine needle harvest" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: Near Manito
19,275 posts, read 20,155,339 times
Reputation: 13358

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaneSA View Post
If I don't remember being told it was time to make a choice.
I was eleven. Beverly Beck made the choice for me. She said "Come here, big boy, and let me show you how to kiss."

I've been a flaming hetero ever since.
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Old 09-27-2008, 11:25 PM
 
Location: Heartland Florida
9,324 posts, read 23,234,062 times
Reputation: 4895
Behavior is learned, attraction is instinctive. I believe that sexuality is based on the scale between limits. On one side is homosexual, the other heterosexual. In the middle is bisexual and on a tangent is asexual. It is highly unlikely that anyone is completely heterosexual, homosexual or asexual. As an asexual who has never attained sexual release, I tend to think of myself as pure asexual. There have been girls and women interested in me that I thought were attractive, but the desire to "get laid" never materialized itself. There was no desire to perform similar experiments with gay guys. I have known and been friends with several gay men and have found them to be relatively "normal" looking and acting, and one is a very muscular and non feminine guy. What I believe is learned is the behavior of how people act. The flaming queens are that way because of a poor relationship with father or too many female friends growing up. However, I have known two guys who everyone thought were gay and did every available female in the office.

Women prefer gay men because they are generally willing to talk while straight guys often avoid emotional contact. I believe that men who harass or "bash" gays have homosexual tendencies themselves or have been molested by a homosexual. The hate for gays is definately learned. However, I cannot believe that homosexuality is a choice. It is extremely unfortunate that religion has chosen to condemn the orientation. I have never had a problem with gay men and every one I have known expressed the desire to have been heterosexual instead. None of them have expressed an interest in being asexual though.
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Old 09-28-2008, 04:43 AM
 
12,870 posts, read 12,773,798 times
Reputation: 4446
if homosexuality is not a choice, how could one identical twin be gay and one straight?
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Old 09-28-2008, 09:46 AM
 
3,717 posts, read 5,097,154 times
Reputation: 1139
Quote:
Originally Posted by tallrick View Post
The flaming queens are that way because of a poor relationship with father or too many female friends growing up.
Is it possible to have too many female friends? Why would a bad relationship with one's father make a gay man more "flaming"?

Quote:
However, I cannot believe that homosexuality is a choice.
I'm with you--much like we don't choose varying levels of asexuality. I don't think someone would choose to have no interest in something that most people seem to view as requirement in romantic relationships.

Quote:
It is extremely unfortunate that religion has chosen to condemn the orientation.
Well, that's definitely a generalization. Some religions condemn the orientation. And then, IMO, some people hide behind that and use it as an excuse for their own bigotry that is in no way related to, say...Christianity, since there are gay Christians out there and plenty of Christians who are gay allies. That explanation's my take on it, anyway.

Quote:
I have never had a problem with gay men and every one I have known expressed the desire to have been heterosexual instead.
That's a shame, but then I think all non-heterosexual people feel that way at some point in their lives.

Quote:
None of them have expressed an interest in being asexual though.
I think that's about as accepted as being homosexual.
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Old 09-28-2008, 09:48 AM
 
3,717 posts, read 5,097,154 times
Reputation: 1139
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridasandy View Post
if homosexuality is not a choice, how could one identical twin be gay and one straight?
Well, first things first. The question wasn't whether or not it's choice; it was whether it's innate or learned.

My answer to your question (which will be an opinion and nothing more) is that it is at least partially learned. Identical twins probably couldn't have the same experiences in life. But that in no way means that one of them made a choice to be gay or whatever the orientation might be--it simply means that each one understands his world/the world differently, just like with anyone else. I'm not sure why you're saying that if one isn't born with an orientation, he or she must have chosen one. I don't see why it's either/or.
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Old 09-28-2008, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Heartland Florida
9,324 posts, read 23,234,062 times
Reputation: 4895
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridasandy View Post
if homosexuality is not a choice, how could one identical twin be gay and one straight?
Perhaps the one who says it is heterosexual was not being totally honest. If a pair of twins is bisexual, they can go either way. Yet how many people who have had homosexual experiences will admit it? A scientific test for homosexuality would have to be administered, otherwise the word of an individual has no real meaning.
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Old 09-28-2008, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Lynbrook
517 posts, read 2,241,273 times
Reputation: 319
I disagree that it is learned - fully or partially. I believe there is probably a genetic predisposition. I do believe that environmental factors could play a part. In terms of twins, we think of the environment of the womb as being equal but, in actuality, having two fetuses can result in one fetus receiving more of certain things than the other (ex: the difference in birth weights).

I definitely do not believe it is a choice. I agree with the previous post about attraction being instinctual. Have you ever known someone that had qualities you would look for in a partner, but the "chemistry" just wasn't there?

Many of my gay friends and family have stated that they realized fairly early on that they were "different" in some way. Many of their families were also aware of a difference.

As others have stated, most gay friends have said that they fought against being homosexual. Eventually they realized that they could not change who they were attracted to, they could only decide to accept themselves or be miserable living a lie. If you consider that a "choice" then imagine yourself as a heterosexual in a world where it was only acceptable to be homosexual - could you "choose" your sexuality then?

The sad fact is that a large percentage of suicides are committed by homosexual teens. Death seems preferable to being gay in such a hostile society. If they could simply choose to be straight, then death wouldn't be an option.

Live and let live. Judge not lest ye be judged. And all that jazz.

Quote:
Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges View Post
Well, first things first. The question wasn't whether or not it's choice; it was whether it's innate or learned.

My answer to your question (which will be an opinion and nothing more) is that it is at least partially learned. Identical twins probably couldn't have the same experiences in life. But that in no way means that one of them made a choice to be gay or whatever the orientation might be--it simply means that each one understands his world/the world differently, just like with anyone else. I'm not sure why you're saying that if one isn't born with an orientation, he or she must have chosen one. I don't see why it's either/or.
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Old 09-28-2008, 06:16 PM
 
3,717 posts, read 5,097,154 times
Reputation: 1139
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarenBo View Post
I disagree that it is learned - fully or partially. I believe there is probably a genetic predisposition.
That certainly could be the case. I just tend to believe that all orientations are learned/developed to some extent, but of course I have no way to prove or disprove a theory like that.
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Old 09-28-2008, 10:52 PM
 
Location: mass
2,905 posts, read 6,420,331 times
Reputation: 4967
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeledaf View Post
That is so true. Only women's inferior reflexes and smaller muscle mass keeps us guys from getting our butts kicked regularly. (cf. See "mommytotwo"'s post, above...)
Are you saying I'd be abusing men if I were bigger and stronger than them?
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Old 09-28-2008, 11:56 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,313,389 times
Reputation: 6944
True, lots of arrogant gay alpha males....big turn off though

Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiRob View Post
Frankie117 you should go to a gay club because there are more "Alpha" males there then you think there is in the your so called perception of what being gay is. Want to know how many cops & firefighters and athletes I know who are in the closet?

Gay men congegrate with females or is it the other way around? Why are women so attracted to gay men?

Thanks for comparing gay people to sheep! Believe it or not sexual organs and lust don't define gays.

Should I address your comment on how mothers smoking or drinking or using teeth whiteners effects a child's sexuality? No because it is beyond the point of absurdity but then again you probably believe the moon is made out of cheese & aliens landed in Roswell.

have a good night!
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