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Old 09-22-2008, 07:19 PM
 
Location: Aiken S.C
765 posts, read 1,680,363 times
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I personally think is is a chosen lifestyle and i detest the concept ,so what do you people think? are you born or taught to be like this?
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,217 posts, read 4,111,845 times
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Wow.. this is going to be a tough subject for a lot of people to debate.. but here it goes.

I believe you are born that way.

Let's put it this way...

If any of us had to chose how our lives would go,do you not think that we would chose the path of least resistance. .. the road in which our lives would be peaceful, always joyful,without heartache or hardship? We know that it is impossible, because then life would be boring and well what would we learn or gain from life if everything were easy. However, a happy joyful and stress free life is what we all try to attain .

We should all know that the gay / lesbian lifestyle are by no means an easy road to travel. It is wrought with judgement from others, being shunned by family members that do not understand it or fear it etc. By no means is being gay easy and takes a lot of work for those being gay to accept themselves.. especially if they do not find the acceptance from those around them and those closest to them.

If it is our goal to attain peace and happiness in life, then why would someone "chose" to be gay or lesbian if it achieves the opposite and can be a really hard and heartbreaking road to walk?

If you've ever known anyone that is gay, you may have insight to the struggle they went through to accept themselves. I know from an experience in my life just how hard that road is to personal accpetance from someone I was very close to. If he had had a choice he would have wanted to be "normal" and fought against what he was for a long time so that he could try to be what he wanted or "chose" to be. In the end, he ended up facing what he was and eventually made piece with it and accepted himself.

He is a wonderful person and human being and simply becasue someone is gay or lesbian doesn't make them any less so.

And if all men and woman are created by god and god is perfect, then anything god creates is perfect and is just as it should be.
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:44 PM
 
3,553 posts, read 6,785,657 times
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elvislives wrote;
Quote:
I personally think is is a chosen lifestyle
Do you have a solid basis for this thought? Or is it something that was passed down to you from your parents, your church or some other influence in your life?

I've never seen any evidence of it being a "chosen" lifestyle. In fact I think it's insulting to a gay person to refer to it as a lifestyle, but that's my opinion.

Remember there are lots of "shades" of gray when we use the term gay. Senator Larry Craig insists that he is NOT GAY, and I believe him. However, I also think he is one of many straight men, who enjoy (perhaps only occassional) sex with other men.

Many gay people are not "totally" gay, in the same way that many "straight" people are not "totally" straight, see Larry Craig, above. Many people "experiment" with same gender sexual relationships, ofen throughout their entire life.

Many people denounce pedophiles as "gay", although most pedophiles are straight. BTW, I'm not defending pedophiles here, just pointing out that many people's "opinions" are completely at odds with the facts.

golfgod
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Old 09-22-2008, 10:13 PM
 
392 posts, read 1,681,602 times
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My best friend in high school was gay. He was one of five kids, all the rest straight with tough Italian parents. Growing up would have been so much easier for him if he wasn't gay. No one "taught" him to be gay, he had no examples to go by. He had more girls after him than the straight guys that were making fun of him and threatening to beat him up did. Why would he have chosen to go such a difficult road?
OP, when did you make the conscious choice about your sexuality? Did you sit down and think it through and decide what you were or did you just know? Why do you think it is different for homosexuals?
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Old 09-22-2008, 10:26 PM
 
2,180 posts, read 3,186,564 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elvislives View Post
I personally think is is a chosen lifestyle and i detest the concept ,so what do you people think? are you born or taught to be like this?
The fact that you detest the concept runs the risk of your having a difficult time with some of the reasoning surrounding it.

However, let's explore this a bit.

There are animals that engage in homosexual behavior.

If your stance is correct, then presumably the animals, too, have that as their chosen livestyle. If that is the case, then there is a degree of consciousness that we do not normally accord to animals.

Is that something you mean to be suggesting or with which you are in agreement?
********

Let me shift gears, but do please answer my question above.

I believe that the vast majority of gay, lesbian, and bi people were born the way that way. My best friend growing up was gay and certainly hoped I was - but I wasn't.

It was not "learned" by any means. Nor was there anybody in our circle from whom my friend could or would have learned it.

But...

I know people who have chosen that path, as adults. Often, though not always, it is a choice made after a very negative experience with a member of the opposite sex - and more often women making the choice to live as lesbians when they had not been a lesbian, by their accounting, before that.

They choose that path because, difficult as it is, it is easier for them than dealing with men or living without intimacy and love.
********

Again, this is a small percentage of the homosexual women I know - and all of that group made a choice as adults. None of the adolescent LGBs I know decided to be that way, and several of them pray every day not to be.

I do hope this helps you to reconsider the issue.
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Old 09-22-2008, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
708 posts, read 2,361,897 times
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I'm pretty sure I didn't choose to be gay. If anything, I tried to prevent it. . . Not that I was even aware of the concept of sexuality when I first realized I liked guys. That's not to say that it can't not be genetic. In fact, many gay identical twins have a straight twin. On the other hand, identical twins are much more likely to share the same sexuality than fraternal twins, suggesting there may be a genetic predisposition.
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Old 09-23-2008, 03:31 AM
 
605 posts, read 818,808 times
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There is no denying a genetic component at this point, there is too much scientific evidence. However, it cannot be concluded that environment has no impact. Regardless, as a gay person, I know that I did not choose to be gay. I woke up and realized it one day. And there is no going back.
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Old 09-23-2008, 04:26 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
3,088 posts, read 4,542,478 times
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I once dated a man who was convinced that being "gay" was a choice rather than an inborn charachteristic. I was not able to "talk to him" about my very different opinion on this subject, until I asked him when he made the "choice" to be heterosexual. He was adamant that, for him, it was not a choice. . . . . and it made him "think". . . .
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Old 09-23-2008, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Aiken S.C
765 posts, read 1,680,363 times
Reputation: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by cap1717 View Post
I once dated a man who was convinced that being "gay" was a choice rather than an inborn charachteristic. I was not able to "talk to him" about my very different opinion on this subject, until I asked him when he made the "choice" to be heterosexual. He was adamant that, for him, it was not a choice. . . . . and it made him "think". . . .
But if you don't have to think if your are hetrosexual .but then again your happen to realize you are gay implies making a choice..
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Old 09-23-2008, 05:52 AM
 
79 posts, read 207,477 times
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I'm convinced that gay people have no choice in the matter - they are born gay.

What I believe is acquired, learned, or chosen is the campiness and other affectations at times.
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