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Old 12-19-2009, 12:46 AM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,639,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
I'd like to see a reality show about teen moms. Nothing preachy, just real day to day life events. Show the moms waiting in line at Social Services with a crying baby. Studying for her GED with a crying baby. Court hearings for child support. Where's the glamour in that?
Nothing quite this severe..but there is a show..I stumbled on it trying to get my fix of Ace of cakes..lol..It shows the ridiculous nature of it all...and how the parents of these teens come to the rescue...

here is the link...
Teen Mom | Full Episodes, Photos, Episode Synopsis and Recaps | MTV

 
Old 12-19-2009, 11:41 AM
 
298 posts, read 807,367 times
Reputation: 165
This thread is ridiculous.

I'm guessing now it must be politically correct to say there is a "Pro" and a Con to everything.
Once we as a society go down that route, nothing will be considered unacceptable. In fact, that's already been happening.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 03:03 PM
 
Location: US Empire, Pac NW
5,008 posts, read 10,452,145 times
Reputation: 4125
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr74 View Post
With all due respect this i.e. is not the social norm, but I agree that there are some "success" stories.

As far as the closing the generation gap? Hodge Podge, there are many parents whom have had their children at a later age and still make the effort to connect with their children and can successfully do so, my dad for i.e. is 64 and still plays video games with the grandkids and is caught up on all the trends and has the means to spoil and provide!
That's very good of your dad . My mom and dad made an effort (when I was younger than 8) to play some video games with me, like Tetris and the old Nintendo duckhunt and olympics game with the fitness pad.

And I do agree that my friend's family is the exception, not the rule, but I just wanted to point out there are exceptions to every "rule" human in nature.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,523,609 times
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Grandparents and grandchildren have abandoned their responsibility to care for each other. Which singular fact of modern society has removed any possible Pro in this debate.

There is no reason whatsoever why a 15-yo girl and her extended family cannot fulfill all the responsibilities of parenting. Except the fact that we have destroyed the extended family. The child can no longer depend on being reared and nurtured under adult supervision, unless the mother herself is an adult.
 
Old 12-20-2009, 12:39 AM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,639,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Grandparents and grandchildren have abandoned their responsibility to care for each other. Which singular fact of modern society has removed any possible Pro in this debate.

There is no reason whatsoever why a 15-yo girl and her extended family cannot fulfill all the responsibilities of parenting. Except the fact that we have destroyed the extended family. The child can no longer depend on being reared and nurtured under adult supervision, unless the mother herself is an adult.
I disagree with you on several points.

IMHO I feel that no parent would choose for their 15 yr old daughter to have a child, which is loosely what my point was several posts ago. Will the parent "support" their teenage daughter ( Most do but not all).Most parents strive to provide their children with a better life where they can succeed, be empowered and create good lives for themselves while at the same time enjoy being 'young" and have all the oppurtunities in the world!

What happens when a 15 year old girl has a child? true while she is able to conceive cognitively she is still a child, she still wants to go out, hang out with her friends, come home, hang out, watch tv, go to sleep ect...and as we all know babies do not adhere to our schedules.
Babies are a huge responsibility, they need alot of attention, daily care and nurturing, they do not always take naps when we need a break, they do not always sleep through the night.

What ends up happening is strife in this extended family home, even though this little addition is welcome, what ends up ocurring often times is strife in this extended family situation, why?

1. Being that the mother is a teenager her parents are still raising a child
2. The grandparents still work and cannot always be accessible to raise the child
3. Teenage mom hopefully stays in HS and hopefully they have a teen mother program at her school, but what to do if they do not? Money must be paid for child care and who pays for this?
4. Who wakes up with the baby at night? If mom does not?
5. Who takes care of the baby when mom wants to go hang with her friends, go to the movies? OR god forbid go on a date? Grandma or grandpa
6. Who buys the diapers, formula, wipes, powder, babywash, clothes, ect?
7. If mom is of age and gets a job, who takes care of the baby for her to attend school and work? Grandma and grandpa and if they cannot who pays for the child care? mom will essentially be going to work to pay for childcare and very little else, unless she burdens our already caving social services system

Basically? Parents do not wish this for their daughters period. Grandparents have a very distinct role which is to love their grandchildren, spoil them, watch them from time to time but to raise their grandchildren? I don't think so.

I do not believe thay extended families are crumbling it is Nuclear families that are crumbling and this causes stress on the rest. Extended families are great do not get me wrong, they can be a great resource in means of a support sytem but not to be used to RAISE your child.
 
Old 12-20-2009, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Sandpoint, Idaho
2,880 posts, read 5,070,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
It is not childbirth that causes their hopelessness. It is their hopelessness that is alleviated by childbirth.
This is a terribly misleading and naive perspective. Replace "childbirth" with drugs and we have yet another dangerous approach with how to think of this problem.

For a teenager considering childbirth as tool to alleviate hopelessness, they will get a quick fix found in the attention and hormonal surges during pregancy and the miracle of life being born, but soon afterwards the reality, fatigue and limitations presented by the child soon overwhelms. And with perspective, the regret of every having thought of childbirth as a panacea for social exclusion or boredom, or economic despair begins to look incredibly foolish.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Middle East is not a good example. There, in many countries, women outnumber men in enrollment at universities, and more girls than boys graduate from high school. I think that is also true in India, but I'm not sure. Iraq, under Saddam, was one of the countries where that was the case.
No, actually it is. I was not making a geopolitical point nor one on the comparison of cultures, but rather on the decision calculus of the American teenager considering teen pregnancy. A married teen bride in the MIddle East represents the best at what can happen. After all, she has a wife and hopefully shelter & food. Yet such a bride's life ends and her life as wife and mother begins.

If an American teen could fully appreciate the reality of a life of responsibility, servitude, and loss of individuality, even under marriage, it would be safe to say, most would not make the decision to have a child.

Your further points on enrollment were irrelevant.

S.
 
Old 12-20-2009, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,523,609 times
Reputation: 35864
I don't see anything wrong with teen pregnancy, as long as the girl thoughtfully and voluntarily wishes to have a child, and has the support of an extended family to assure that the child is reared responsibly, and if the father is a willing participant. There are plenty of mothers over 18, in which those criteria are not met, and parenthood prospects are not improved in such cases by the higher age of the mother..
 
Old 12-22-2009, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Sandpoint, Idaho
2,880 posts, read 5,070,237 times
Reputation: 3020
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
I don't see anything wrong with teen pregnancy, as long as the girl thoughtfully and voluntarily wishes to have a child, and has the support of an extended family to assure that the child is reared responsibly, and if the father is a willing participant. There are plenty of mothers over 18, in which those criteria are not met, and parenthood prospects are not improved in such cases by the higher age of the mother..
OK. I'll buy that statement. But as you well know, the conditions are disproportionately unmet my teen age single mothers.

And I also agree, that those 20+ have no carte blanche on good parenting.

S.
 
Old 12-22-2009, 12:19 PM
 
48,880 posts, read 39,370,650 times
Reputation: 30543
Quote:
Originally Posted by BORGUSX View Post
What are the pros and cons regarding teen pregnancy? If you guys can list out the pros and cons so basically try to contradict yourself! What is your final verdict?

Pro

-The baby can fill the void of the teenage mother
-The baby can be someone to keep the mother company

Statements that would support this viewpoint

-Well, people were teenagers when they have kids back in the old days
-If you guys think a teenager is just a baby, then how does a baby have a baby? If you do believe in evolution and/or God, then why does not puberty starts at 18
-People say a teenager is a baby, well that is socially constructed, but it does not match up with human biology

Con

-Being responsible for the baby's well-being
-Financially responsible
-Not having time to enjoy other things
Pro's:
-Two or more people got to have sex. Giggity.
-The government will pay most of your bills for you as long as you don't get married.

Con's:
-Welcome to a life of low wages, section 8 housing and a good chance of becoming a grandparent before you are old enough to run for president.
 
Old 12-22-2009, 03:27 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,194,930 times
Reputation: 45811
Well, I think teen pregnancy is a bad, bad thing.

But I think one component that nobody talks about is how the current rat's maze we call Education now forces people to be in school until age 22-24 in order to earn a decent living. A high school diploma used to mean something in this country. Now it is utterly meaningless because the curriculum has gotten so dumbed down.
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