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Old 12-14-2008, 01:21 AM
Status: "many types of daisies" (set 6 hours ago)
 
1,771 posts, read 2,351,288 times
Reputation: 1510

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Ice View Post
I'm afraid I'm terribly politically incorrect. I will ask quite bluntly, " so what happened to your leg? or what's it like living with that illness or dissability?" I have never had a bad reaction from the person I am asking, they often like my straight forwardness. More often then not I get a reaction from other people who are listening, they are more horrified than the person I am talking to. As far as race goes I have never identified people by race, people are people to me. All of these terms of differentiation just serve to keep race division a part of the language. I said once in another thread, I would like it if the word race was taken out of the dictionary purely through lack of use. The same goes for all of these other terms.
Keep in mind, though, that you could very well be hurting someone's feelings, but instead of yelling at you or being rude to you, they take the high road and answer the question you have asked. People that are not walking correctly, for example, are just trying to shop or eat or whatever. They do not go out so they can explain to everyone they run into about what they have or what's happened to them.

If people remember that people who are different than they are are still people, not just the thing that stands out about them, it should be easier to communicate. Talk about what's going on around you instead of them, unless it's something you know they would be delighted to talk about, such as the beautiful weather or a nice pin they have on. This makes for much less awkward conversation.

 
Old 12-14-2008, 01:25 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,484,664 times
Reputation: 47456
showing respect is never wrong, throwing accountability out the window is causing some real problems.
 
Old 12-14-2008, 09:25 PM
 
4,248 posts, read 5,319,362 times
Reputation: 10287
Quote:
Originally Posted by trustmeiknow View Post
Keep in mind, though, that you could very well be hurting someone's feelings, but instead of yelling at you or being rude to you, they take the high road and answer the question you have asked. People that are not walking correctly, for example, are just trying to shop or eat or whatever. They do not go out so they can explain to everyone they run into about what they have or what's happened to them.

If people remember that people who are different than they are are still people, not just the thing that stands out about them, it should be easier to communicate. Talk about what's going on around you instead of them, unless it's something you know they would be delighted to talk about, such as the beautiful weather or a nice pin they have on. This makes for much less awkward conversation.

I said I was blunt ,I didn't say I was rude. I don't just go up to some stranger on the street and ask them about whatever I notice about them. I am talking about a social situation in which I am already engaged in a conversation.I don't tippy toe around it or even worse avoid the person because I don't know what to say. I am actually a very sensative person and never would say anything in a hurtful way. If I am interested I will ask and I don't see anything wrong with that.I don't see it as being rude, it is talking with them and allowing them to share their experience. Maybe it's just different cultures, Australians are rather straight forward we don't like a lot of BS.
 
Old 12-14-2008, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,230 posts, read 43,514,946 times
Reputation: 18697
Quote:
Originally Posted by backfist View Post
No sir, I'm not. I'm not calling you anything accept uninformed about a subject you'd just as soon opine about, instead of studying, seeking knowledge and learning.
Why is he asking questions, if he's not interested in learning more?
 
Old 12-15-2008, 12:07 AM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
28,230 posts, read 43,514,946 times
Reputation: 18697
Quote:
Originally Posted by linicx View Post
Bi-Polar is one example. The patient is psychologically disturbed. It used to be called Schitzoophrenia. Patients suffer terrribly from over-medication. On a good day they are charming, happy, accomplished liars. On a bad day they might kill you.
Um, bipolar disorder (aka manic-depression) and schizophrenia - and multiple personality disorder - are all different conditions with unique symptoms. I myself am (mildly) bipolar, and have no symptoms of schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. Please do some research before throwing around terms and definitions you don't understand. I get what you were trying to say, but your example is inaccurate.

For you to peruse:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000928.htm
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000926.htm
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=38077

P.S. I am neither an "accomplished liar" nor a potential killer, thankyouverymuch. I mean, really??? And for the record, I don't care what you call me as long as it's based on fact - and not misinformation or hate.
 
Old 12-15-2008, 12:09 AM
Status: "many types of daisies" (set 6 hours ago)
 
1,771 posts, read 2,351,288 times
Reputation: 1510
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Ice View Post
I said I was blunt ,I didn't say I was rude. I don't just go up to some stranger on the street and ask them about whatever I notice about them. I am talking about a social situation in which I am already engaged in a conversation.I don't tippy toe around it or even worse avoid the person because I don't know what to say. I am actually a very sensative person and never would say anything in a hurtful way. If I am interested I will ask and I don't see anything wrong with that.I don't see it as being rude, it is talking with them and allowing them to share their experience. Maybe it's just different cultures, Australians are rather straight forward we don't like a lot of BS.
Okay, I hear ya. I think it is much better if a conversation was already going on and the person is already comfortable with you if you ask a question like that. It's actually better to get it out than stand there with both of you knowing there's something you're wondering about and you're just not saying it. So as long as you say it nicely, which I believe you do, you're in good shape. Sorry if I offended you at all.
 
Old 12-15-2008, 12:24 AM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,136 posts, read 21,154,931 times
Reputation: 23168
I worked with the public for 28 years. I learned to use no labels. I tried very hard to address people by their names. Even with that, I made sure if it was a man that Mr. and his last name was used. That was just my way of not getting too friendly. One does not usually get into trouble when they treat people with respect. You're going to get a good laugh at this: I treated everybody who came through the door as if they were the president. I think that would be lost on this forum.
 
Old 12-15-2008, 12:34 AM
 
4,248 posts, read 5,319,362 times
Reputation: 10287
Quote:
Originally Posted by trustmeiknow View Post
Okay, I hear ya. I think it is much better if a conversation was already going on and the person is already comfortable with you if you ask a question like that. It's actually better to get it out than stand there with both of you knowing there's something you're wondering about and you're just not saying it. So as long as you say it nicely, which I believe you do, you're in good shape. Sorry if I offended you at all.

Not offended at all, life would be pretty tragic if I was offended that easily .
 
Old 12-15-2008, 09:18 AM
 
Location: PNW native currently residing in the SoCal high desert
259 posts, read 537,773 times
Reputation: 212
Not my original quote, but it is how I feel about PCness

"Political correctness it just tyranny with manners."

Don't remember who said that, but that's my take on it, anyway.

Lady Ice, I know what you mean. In the American culture there is this PC thing and when I met my hubby back when, he was very straight foward. I asked him about it and he said it's because his family comes from a different culture and he spoke a different language as a child, in his language, there is only one way to say most things, there is no "tap dancing" around it. As opposed to English, there is the "diplomatic" way, and a straightfoward way to say things.

It opened my eyes. I was not offended by it, actually I apreciated the non BS and I realized how bizarre it was for everyone else to be offended by being blunt.

More and more I find this country is becoming "the land of the offended."
 
Old 10-18-2015, 06:26 AM
 
Location: the Permian Basin
4,094 posts, read 2,830,369 times
Reputation: 5665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug Life View Post
I briefly (took her on a wonderful date to a formal dance, dinner and chickened out on calling her for a second date) dated a girl in high school who was African-American. Thing is, she was not black. She was half-American Jew, half-South African Dutch, and clearly as white as can be. Compare her to my closest friend, a black guy who grew up in Cleveland. He's never been to Africa, neither had his parents before they died. But if you were a PC advocate, you'd call him "African-American". How is that being "correct" when it's clearly incorrect? The only person who can be "African-American" is someone who has one parent from Africa and one from America. Otherwise, black people from Canada are African-Canadian, from France they are African-French and Mexico they are African-Mexican. After all, some native Africans are pretty white, like Ernie Ells.
Rumor has it that Charlize Theron checks the African American box on her census form, and for good reason: Theron, who is white, was born in South Africa and emigrated to the US.
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