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Yeah, that's really stupid. You hear it all the time.
But I'm not sure it has as much to do with homosexuality, or homophobia, as it has to do with the juvenile vocabulary of the person saying it.
It's a little like the person who swears constantly. Do they have no other words in their vocabulary with which to speak what's on their mind?
My gay friends say "that's gay"...without even thinking about it. I mean, I think that the way people use the word gay has changed, just like the word "lame". Lame does not disparage the disabled. It is used to denote an ineffectual attempt or being subpar. I think that "gay" is in a weird gray zone. It denotes both homosexuality and being sub-par...the question herein lies whether the definitions two are connected. Like ***** (female dog) and ***** (unruly) or lame (crippled) and lame (subpar)...can it be the context is greater than the word itself? I truly don't know the answer...
My gay friends say "that's gay"...without even thinking about it. I mean, I think that the way people use the word gay has changed, just like the word "lame". Lame does not disparage the disabled. It is used to denote an ineffectual attempt or being subpar. I think that "gay" is in a weird gray zone. It denotes both homosexuality and being sub-par...the question herein lies whether the definitions two are connected. Like ***** (female dog) and ***** (unruly) or lame (crippled) and lame (subpar)...can it be the context is greater than the word itself? I truly don't know the answer...
I'm with you. I refuse to say, "That's so gay!" just because it seems offensive and inappropriate.
But I wonder if it's a little like another of those odd expressions I hear. I live in a black area of our city, and am always a little surprised that so many blacks refer to each other as Ni*gg*ers. It seems so wrong.
Don't get me wrong. I have no desire whatever to use that term. So it's not that I'm thinking, "If they can say it why can't I?" I just find it appalling and insulting. But don't they find it offensive - regardless of its context?
I'm with you. I refuse to say, "That's so gay!" just because it seems offensive and inappropriate.
But I wonder if it's a little like another of those odd expressions I hear. I live in a black area of our city, and am always a little surprised that so many blacks refer to each other as Ni*gg*ers. It seems so wrong.
Don't get me wrong. I have no desire whatever to use that term. So it's not that I'm thinking, "If they can say it why can't I?" I just find it appalling and insulting. But don't they find it offensive - regardless of its context?
Well.. not that you're speaking directly to me or anything (lol) but I think if you're an African-American and you're using that word.. you're not talking down to another African-American.. because there is a shared history behind that word... totally different if you're another race.
Well.. not that you're speaking directly to me or anything (lol) but I think if you're an African-American and you're using that word.. you're not talking down to another African-American.. because there is a shared history behind that word... totally different if you're another race.
Yeah, I agree.
But at it's core, there's a very real part of me that is asking, "Is it okay or not? Is it right or wrong? No justifying anything - just, is it right or wrong?"
We do weird things with the language we choose to speak, don't we?
But at it's core, there's a very real part of me that is asking, "Is it okay or not? Is it right or wrong? No justifying anything - just, is it right or wrong?"
We do weird things with the language we choose to speak, don't we?
Well.. I feel very strongly that it's not ever okay but I'm not a representative for the African-American community (lol) and I'm not even an African-American. Personally.. I think if you really focused your energy on empathizing with the experiences of individuals within that community you could come close to seeing that it is in no way appropriate to use that word unless you're an African-American.. but that's just my opinion. I know some people who are from an older generation (I'm in my 30s) who feel very, very differently.. and I've read threads on here (like in the Entertainment section) where people have been very vocal about how harmless these words are.. but you know... different strokes for different folks. I can't tell you how to think or believe.. just can give ya my opinion.
Well.. I feel very strongly that it's not ever okay but I'm not a representative for the African-American community (lol) and I'm not even an African-American. Personally.. I think if you really focused your energy on empathizing with the experiences of individuals within that community you could come close to seeing that it is in no way appropriate to use that word unless you're an African-American.. but that's just my opinion. I know some people who are from an older generation (I'm in my 30s) who feel very, very differently.. and I've read threads on here (like in the Entertainment section) where people have been very vocal about how harmless these words are.. but you know... different strokes for different folks. I can't tell you how to think or believe.. just can give ya my opinion.
Yep. As I said earlier, I live in the black area of my city - and am perfectly comfortable and happy here. It REALLY seems to me that most people simply want to be treated with respect. Period. I don't need to treat my black neighbors any different than my white neighbors. I need to treat them all well, and with respect.
None of us are truly color-blind, so we don't need to make believe we are. But we can be decent to each other.
Yep. As I said earlier, I live in the black area of my city - and am perfectly comfortable and happy here. It REALLY seems to me that most people simply want to be treated with respect. Period. I don't need to treat my black neighbors any different than my white neighbors. I need to treat them all well, and with respect.
None of us are truly color-blind, so we don't need to make believe we are. But we can be decent to each other.
Well.. I don't want to hog the thread but I'd like to see that 'decent' increased to 'respect'. I can be decent to my neighbor's dog but I don't respect him.. but there I go playing with words again
Well.. I don't want to hog the thread but I'd like to see that 'decent' increased to 'respect'. I can be decent to my neighbor's dog but I don't respect him.. but there I go playing with words again
Basically I was meaning the exact same thing. Be good to each other - not because you're black or what, but just because you are. That's about all.
Just on the terminology thing I once watched a reality show here called The Block, the premise being 4 couples were each given an apartment in a block of 4 and they each had a budget with which to renovate their apartment and at the end of the series it was put to a vote as to which apartment was the winner.
Anyway there was a gay couple in one of the series and a heterosexual couple who over the course of the show developed issues with each other culminating in a really nasty argument where the female of the heterosexual couple responded as part of the argument with a long tirade at the end of which she spat out "because I don't like you, girlfriend".
Now she never used the word gay, her whole argument was based on issues to do with the show and the renovations but there was more hatred, and I felt homophobia, just in that last word than she would ever have managed to convey using the word gay or f** and the word girlfriend stood out as harsher and nastier than the rest of the statement, "I don't like you" simply because of how she said it.
I guess for me it's not about the words or the terms because people will show their bias and hatred with perfectly ordinary words if they are so inclined.
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