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Old 06-05-2009, 11:29 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,001,893 times
Reputation: 4290

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmithFamilyFour View Post
I think that my big thing is that I want other people to enjoy life as much as I do and I know that my kids are a big part of it. I guess I'm just a fixer at heart.
So live your life be happy But it's not "fixing" things to say that other people will be happy living your kind of life.

I am totally different from my siblings in that they are all into the über family stuff. All their activities revolve around raising and being entertained with kid activities. One sister I visit most often and we've participated, briefly, in each others worlds. I've attended cheer leading competitions to show support for my niece, my sister has gone on motorcycle rides and pored over historical sites. Those are x-cultural activities that neither of us would do on our own, but we do it out of respect for one another. She listens to my blathering about a new David McCulloch biography, while I not only congratulate my niece on being accepted to a prestigious university, I send my sister a congratulation card for being a great parent and seeing her daughter attain her goals.

However, not for one minute, would either of us say to the other that we'd be happy if we switched lives. It's hilarious to even contemplate, not to mention rude and disrespectful to suggest.

Last edited by silverwing; 06-05-2009 at 11:59 PM..

 
Old 06-05-2009, 11:38 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,001,893 times
Reputation: 4290
Quote:
Originally Posted by juggler View Post
However, all other things being equal, I have more respect for a couple with kids than one without. The couple with kids has shown that they can handle the daily challenges of life not only for themselves, but also can handle the raising of brand new members of the human race. This is no small accomplishment. (Yes, I fully realize that not all parents are competent at this, but the vast majority are).
Kind of scotches people like Florence Nightingale, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman - none of whom had children yet risked and met challenges to their lives and freedom to make the world a better place for others
 
Old 06-06-2009, 12:49 AM
 
Location: vagabond
2,631 posts, read 4,831,021 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by ouijeewoman View Post
I don't need children to prove that I can handle the challenges of life for myself or any one else Frankly, I'm a little offended that I need children to get any one's respect. I have done many things in my life to deal with "challenges" and I did it child free.
why get offended about it? no matter what you do you are going to lose respect in someone else's eyes. you could save orphans from a burning building, and while most people are cheering you on, someonse else is grumbling about the tax money you just kept going to them.

it's not worth worrying about how your belief system irritates others, nor is it worth worrying about what beliefs they have that bug you.

ultimately, whether or not someone should have kids is up to them and their significant other (if any), and the rest of us can feel more than welcome to keep our loud, ignorant opinions to ourselves.

we can't begin to put ourselves in someone else's shoes sufficiently to know whether or not they "should" be having kids right now, so we ought to just mind our own business.

i have one child, and another on the way, and i think that correctly raising children is a splendid method to help the world, but i am not going to pretend that this means everyone needs to do it, or that those that aren't raising children are not capable of similar acts of responsibility or benevolence. and i cannot hope to find a logical leg to stand on if i am going to push my religious, philosophical, and social ideals on others by judging them because they do not serve in the same capacity that i do.

aaron out.
 
Old 06-06-2009, 07:39 AM
 
901 posts, read 2,610,229 times
Reputation: 562
Dear OP,

I can totally relate to your situation. Recently, many people in my life (personal and professional life) have become pregnant. Every single time I hear about someone who is expecting, I really feel happy that I'm not the pregnant one. My family is not that supportive of my choice to not have children. They think that I will change my mind eventually. For now, I just shrug it off. It is frustrating, though.
 
Old 06-06-2009, 07:46 AM
 
Location: The Midst of Insanity
3,225 posts, read 6,122,282 times
Reputation: 3209
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam82 View Post
Dear OP,

I can totally relate to your situation. Recently, many people in my life (personal and professional life) have become pregnant. Every single time I hear about someone who is expecting, I really feel happy that I'm not the pregnant one. My family is not that supportive of my choice to not have children. They think that I will change my mind eventually. For now, I just shrug it off. It is frustrating, though.
A lot of people have told me "You'll change your mind". As I get older, the more certain I become.

My family is not supportive of me either. My father won't talk to me-and it's not like he won't have grandkids because my sister has kids!
 
Old 06-06-2009, 07:58 AM
 
15,615 posts, read 9,156,993 times
Reputation: 67792
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
A lot of people have told me "You'll change your mind". As I get older, the more certain I become.

My family is not supportive of me either. My father won't talk to me-and it's not like he won't have grandkids because my sister has kids!
Oh man, that's rough - I'm sorry. We were very lucky that way - we flat out told both sets of parents "please don't pressure us to have kids, even in a joking way - we've decided we don't want any". Both sets were phenomenal about accepting our decision, not prying, and not trying to guilt us or "joke" about it.

Most people I've known haven't changed their mind. When people say that, or the ubiquitous "you don't know what you're missing", I just acknowledge that maybe I don't know what I'm missing, but I don't intend to find out and that's ok with me

You'll be fine - the older you get, the less people will give you that sorry look or the harsh judgments. Overall, it's a minor annoyance and the trade off of having stayed true to yourself is well worth it!
 
Old 06-06-2009, 08:23 AM
 
7,671 posts, read 11,275,729 times
Reputation: 15249
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
...we know any number of childless couples and have noticed that they have a couple of characteristics. First, they don't seemed to have fully ripened into true, mature adults, instead embracing some kind of perpetual adolescence. Second, they typically don't have as full an understanding of the cycles of life, nor a complete understanding of the way the world works.
Congratulations!

After reading all 13 pages and 120+ posts on this thread, I had to come back to this one on page six to bestow an award on you for the most condescending (not to mention idiotic) statements about childless couples ever uttered.

Way to go!!
 
Old 06-06-2009, 08:25 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,194,930 times
Reputation: 45811
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
Congratulations!

After reading all 13 pages and 120+ posts on this thread, I had to come back to this one to bestow an award on you for the most condescending (not to mention idiotic) statements about childless couples ever uttered.

Way to go!!
Hahaha. Let's see. 'Adolescent' seems to describe your maturity level to a T, so maybe I was on target after all given how you addressed me. Truth hurts.
 
Old 06-06-2009, 08:36 AM
 
7,671 posts, read 11,275,729 times
Reputation: 15249
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Hahaha. Let's see. 'Adolescent' seems to describe your maturity level to a T, so maybe I was on target after all given how you addressed me. Truth hurts.
I'm sorry.

Only one entry per person per thread is allowed in the category of "Most Idiotic Post."

However, if you'd like to try for "Most Feeble Attempt at a Putdown" I'd be happy to nominate you for that category.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope that you can walk away with another win.

Good luck!
 
Old 06-06-2009, 08:40 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,194,930 times
Reputation: 45811
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
I'm sorry.

Only one entry per person per thread is allowed in the category of "Most Idiotic Post."

However, if you'd like to try for "Most Feeble Attempt at a Putdown" I'd be happy to nominate you for that category.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope that you can walk away with another win.

Good luck!
Hmmmm. Let's see. Shrill, childless man bandying about terms such as "Feeble" and "Idiotic," for my mildly suggesting that being childless can mean that one ultimately may not reach full emotional maturity. Thanks for making my case for me. That couldn't have worked out better if I had scripted it.
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