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Old 06-15-2009, 02:14 PM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
37,789 posts, read 12,165,346 times
Reputation: 34077

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi View Post
I do not get the concept of finding the perfect one just to pop out a few kids and having that be your main focus.


Oh, and by the way I do hate kids. I do not get why that's so taboo. We live in such a child centric country where people must walk on egg shells constantly because of the children. F*ck the children.
Wow! Were you mistreated as a child?

 
Old 06-15-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,100 posts, read 24,549,603 times
Reputation: 4813
Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi View Post
Oh, and by the way I do hate kids. I do not get why that's so taboo. We live in such a child centric country where people must walk on egg shells constantly because of the children. F*ck the children.
The fact is, YOU were once a child - weren't you? Did you want people hating you - simply because you were young?

IMO, there is no reason to "hate" kids. Not wanting to have children is not the same as hating -

If someone does not want to have children - a family, I seen absolutely nothing wrong with this.

But, to say one "hates" children is taking it a little too far IMO.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,218 posts, read 2,267,098 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?
Well.. I don't have an opinion one way or another as to what kind of people they are or aren't.

What first comes to mind is that they may be selfish in that they don't want to make sacrifices in their lifestyle to accommodate for children. But then if you think about that it's not so selfish after all... because if they are not willing nor want to make them, then if they had children just to satisfy the public's perception of what they SHOULD be doing, then the child could suffer and there could be resentment.

Again.. that might be my first thought. But then there is a side of me that stops and thinks that just because they don't have children doesn't mean that they are NOT good people. And who the hell am I to draw that conclusion.

I do, however, know that I most likely wouldn't have much in common with them and that as I have children and they don't priorities shift. No longer can I or my husband just run out with the couple that doesn't have children..nor would we want to be becasue how we want to spend our time changes.

I do, however, feel sorry for the joys that that couple will miss out on. Because parenting is a real joy. I can't imagine never having experienced my son. Mommy is the greatest thing anyone could ever call me. I think how empty my life would be if I didn't have my child. See, I already know what life was like without a child. Life with a child was a big unknown. BUt now that I know what it's like, it's far better than what I had before (the life I had before my child). I wouldn't trade it to go back to the life I had before..not for one second. I've done that already (childless) for 30 years of my life and I was and am ready for this next phase (parenthood)


So.. I guess I don't really make any decisions on what kind of people a couple are based on their child status. But i did want to share with you my thought proccess as to what I think ...

And I commend you for living your choice. iF that is what is going to make you happy and you feel fulfilled with your life as it is, then that is a great choice for you.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 27,207,784 times
Reputation: 10607
Quote:
Originally Posted by msconnie73 View Post
Raising a child is a 24/7 job so even though you have to pick up the slack for your coworkers, at least you can go home at the end of the day and pretty much do as you please. Working parents don't have this luxury.
AHem, where's the OTHER parent? One parent to take care of the kids, one parent to make a living to support them. Otherwise, don't have them.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 04:05 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 14,506,594 times
Reputation: 3667
Quote:
Originally Posted by big daryle View Post
There are millions of children is the world whose life is ----, and I think your analysis of the situation is full of ---- also!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice.

Thank you for your intelligent, civil, well thought out response.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 04:07 PM
 
Location: wrong planet
5,020 posts, read 7,472,192 times
Reputation: 3776
To the OP... there are many people that feel like you. My husband and I have been happily married for almost 25 years. Never once, for one second, did I ever want children ... and I am so glad I did not let anyone pressure me into having them. I do not desire to be a parent/ Mom to anyone. My life is complete without producing offspring. IMO the world is overpopulated already and I would adopt if I felt the urge to be a Mom.... but I know I won't. Every time I am around people with children, I think - better them than me . I have absolutely no desire to be around small children. Not so long ago women didn't have the choices we have now and I suspect many had children because it was expected of them, or it just happened because they had no access to birth control. Thankfully this is no longer the case.
Best wishes to you and your husband!
__________________
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau


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Old 06-15-2009, 04:08 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 14,506,594 times
Reputation: 3667
Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi View Post
I do not get the concept of finding the perfect one just to pop out a few kids and having that be your main focus.


Oh, and by the way I do hate kids. I do not get why that's so taboo. We live in such a child centric country where people must walk on egg shells constantly because of the children. F*ck the children.
Wow.

Yet another wonderful, intelligent, well thought out comment.


Where are the moderators?
 
Old 06-15-2009, 04:08 PM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
37,789 posts, read 12,165,346 times
Reputation: 34077
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
AHem, where's the OTHER parent? One parent to take care of the kids, one parent to make a living to support them. Otherwise, don't have them.
The ideal parenting situation is exactly what you described. One parent earns the wages while the other parent stays at home to care for the children. Unfortunately, our economical situation does not afford many couples this luxury. People's financial situation can and do change especially in this unstable economy we live in which may force the stay at home parent to enter the workforce.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,218 posts, read 2,267,098 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
AHem, where's the OTHER parent? One parent to take care of the kids, one parent to make a living to support them. Otherwise, don't have them.

Well TKramar.. if we all went by that rule no one would be having children. You are aware that cost of living has gone up so much, yet incomes down.. that now it takes 2 parents working just to maintain "middle class" without sinking below their station??

MOst families I know have two parents working. Although some may be lucky to work part time from home so that they can be home with their kids.. but it's not quite as simple as you'd like to make it out be.
 
Old 06-15-2009, 05:12 PM
 
278 posts, read 720,597 times
Reputation: 194
toosie, you seem like a very wise person. This was an excellent post.
In my opinion, everyone should choose for themselves. We all get judged on a number of things, like it or not. Believe me...you get judged 100x more when you HAVE kids: "your kid is not smart enough", "your kid can't sit still", "your kid doesn't wear the right clothes", "your kid is...", blah, blah, blah! There is no escaping judgment in this society. In a world where children are too often neglected, unwanted, or ignored, I applaud those who understand their wants/limitations and stick to their guns. I am glad to be a mother, but I envy your freedom on some days!
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