U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-18-2009, 06:44 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,574 posts, read 42,741,316 times
Reputation: 57252

Advertisements

I think it's great you found each other. I can also think of a million reasons why a couple would choose not to have children.
As for me, I would hate to reach the end of my life without having known the love of my children. I hope you don't have regrets later.

 
Old 06-18-2009, 06:56 AM
 
8,862 posts, read 14,388,045 times
Reputation: 2280
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokenTap View Post
I used to feel that way too. And the thing is, I just don't think people without children truly understand. There is nothing wrong with it...if you don't know what you are missing, then there is no way you will ever know.

But after having a child I will say this. I always wondered "what the meaning of life is." Once you hold a new born baby that you have given life to, you will always understand.

The meaning of life is to create life. Period.
hmmm--I think there are other ways to understand 'the meaning of life'.
 
Old 06-18-2009, 09:21 AM
 
179 posts, read 478,543 times
Reputation: 79
Well,
as an Athiest, i must say that in my opinion, the ONLY real purpose/goal of humanity is to 'reproduce'. (that's not to say that being kind to others and creating a pleasant world as opposed to a negative atmosphere has no value; but if you really think about it, the only thing humans (and other animals like ants, etc.) are here for, are to reproduce and compete in the food chain....but let's not get too much into the religious aspect of things i guess...)

So, to the original poster, i DO think that it is "abnormal" to 'not' have kids....because you're essentially going against the 'ultimate purpose' of humanity....that said, i do think that it is your choice and one that if thought through and made with patience and a though process, can work great for you. You could spend more time with your hubby and do things that you typically wouldn't be able to do...(like travel the world much more easily).

That said, i also think that you might be creating a lonely world for yourselves later on in life....no kids typically means far fewer relatives to care for you and be with you in later stages of your lives.

i hope for the best for you though :-)

cheers.
 
Old 06-18-2009, 09:56 AM
 
199 posts, read 569,620 times
Reputation: 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrJoey View Post
Not having kids doesn't mean that I don't have a family.
Agreed!!! Totally true!!!
 
Old 06-18-2009, 10:00 AM
 
199 posts, read 569,620 times
Reputation: 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by TristansMommy View Post
Obviously that job was not right for that mom because they could not work out something where she would come in a 1/2 hour later. I'm sure if she could put her kid in daycare earlier she would, but most start at 7am. Had you not had classes that needed to start at 8am, then you would have probably remained that extra 1/2 hour 45 minutes and (if on hourly salary) would be compensated. If you worked 5 days a week that is 2 1/2 hours extra in you paycheck every week. Your "picking up the slack" in that situation was not unrewarded (unless they weren't paying you, in which case you would have or should have pointed that out). As it turned out your situation was not open to that extra 1/2 hour and so it could not have worked for either of you. Because she was the one looking for special consideration, she was the one that ultimately had to go. I'm sure she quit because they told her she needed to be on time or else, in which case that was impossible and she then had to make a choice.

What exactly did you expect her to do? Leave her child on the street corner or at the door of the not yet opened day care? She did the best she could. Had she done that she would be an unfit mother. Had she not worked as a result then she would be chastised for not working and be called lazy.. blah blah blah.

Hopefully she was able to find a job that was a little more accommodating to her situation.

Her lateness had NOTHING whatsoever to do with her work ethic or lack of ethic. Would you have felt her work ethic was better if she had shown up on time, but as a result her child was left waiting in front of a daycare center that was not yet opened?? What's more important.. her responsibility as the caretaker and protector of her child, or getting to a job on time. When one has to be sacrificed for the other, she made the correct choice. The job wasn't the right fit for that working mom period.


As far as other people "picking up the slack" for working parents that too does not always go unrewarded. The "extra" that you do will most likely put you in head of the line for pay raises, promotions etc. If you work hourly and are working overtime for a mom or dad that can't stay beyond their regular hours to complete something you are being compensated and so are therefore being rewarded. Yes, if you are the employee that doesn't have a family you are going to be the first one they go to to cover holiday shifts or extra type stuff. That's a part of YOUR choice to remain childless. But again, you are also compensated and hopefully recognized for that.


I would only consider someone "picking up the slack" if the person that is working their regular hours is not producing the work they should forcing you or others to produce more or make up the difference. THAT is picking up the slack.


She certainly does come acrooss as not being considerate to her co-worker.... She shd have found a Day-care closer to work..instead of 45 min away...Her husband shd be responsible for the kids too.... How come he is completely out of this equation simply because he "can't wake up that early"?

If she wants to tuck her child in at night...I guess she made teh right choice to leave as no option worked out for her...

Some day cares do in fact open at 6:30...Home day care was another option she had... It's all about choices...she chose not to be considerate..lazy or no..that's up for debate
 
Old 06-18-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
4,677 posts, read 1,836,174 times
Reputation: 900
I think its okay for people to chose not to have children. I have a coworker who doesnt want kids and thats great! She is the ditziest, most unemotional person I know. And then has anyone watched Idiocracy some people really shouldnt have kids!
 
Old 06-18-2009, 10:22 AM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
38,803 posts, read 19,574,286 times
Reputation: 35847
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
If I could avoid taking the vacation days, I would, but I'm required to. I'm NOT required to take sick days, and I see no reason to. I've never been so sick I couldn't work. Other people have to take up YOUR slack when you call out--so I don't. I have more respect for my coworkers. Who, by the way, I have little interaction with. We all have our own individual responsibilities, and working side by side is a waste of resources. There's plenty of work to do so that each person can work ALONE.
What if you are contagious but otherwise don't feel too sick to work? Is it fair on your coworkers to expose them to your germs? I'd rather pick up the slack for a sick coworker versus catching their illness. Please stay home!
 
Old 06-18-2009, 10:25 AM
 
733 posts, read 1,684,649 times
Reputation: 443
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?
I think it is one of the smartest moves a couple can make.
 
Old 06-18-2009, 10:26 AM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
38,803 posts, read 19,574,286 times
Reputation: 35847
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrJoey View Post
I do choose to remain childless, but I still have parents, brothers, and sisters who would like for me to be able to see them on holidays a couple of times a year. Not having kids doesn't mean that I don't have a family.

Where I work if you are promoted based on your choices to (or not to) reproduce you can sue for discrimination.

Fair is fair. If you sign on to a job that demands certain hrs, schedules, or commitments then you fulfill your obligation. If you willingly sign a contract that you know you cannot fulfill then you should be obligated to suffer the consequences of breaking said contract. Your fellow employees should not have to make up for your difference since they were hired to do the job in their contract, not the job in yours.
Exactly! Also ... Just because an employee does not have children does not mean that they don't have other obligations in their lives. Many childless folks are taking care of their elderly parents which can be just as demanding as being a parent. Just because someone isn't a parent does not mean that they don't have other worthwhile obligations that would preclude them from always picking up the slack for employees who just happen to be parents.
 
Old 06-18-2009, 11:21 AM
 
12,455 posts, read 13,096,679 times
Reputation: 8893
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultimatetruth View Post
Well,
as an Athiest, i must say that in my opinion, the ONLY real purpose/goal of humanity is to 'reproduce'. if you really think about it, the only thing humans are here for, are to reproduce and compete in the food chain....

So, i DO think that it is "abnormal" to 'not' have kids....because you're essentially going against the 'ultimate purpose' of humanity....
if someone sees reproducing as the "ultimate truth" and purpose of humanity, then I'd say they have a ways to go in terms of depth and growing. Please keep living in the question and don't allow yourself to stop there in that place. Otherwise you are short-changing yourself of much of the joy, richness, and depth in life and living.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top