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Old 06-23-2009, 04:51 AM
 
Location: USA
1,107 posts, read 2,519,942 times
Reputation: 946

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Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
My only opinion is that I wonder why people get married if they don't plan to have a family? I could see two people that fall in love want to be together, but if you don't plan on having a family, what is the point of having an official marriage? Why not just live together or whatever?
Because it's their choice as to whether they officially get married or just live together. Some people have moral and religious beliefs regarding not living together outside of marriage, and some people are just in love and are that comitted to each other and choose not to have children for whatever reason.

 
Old 06-23-2009, 04:54 AM
 
Location: USA
1,107 posts, read 2,519,942 times
Reputation: 946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Central Illinois 1 View Post
Not wanting kids when you can have them is a bit self-indulgent I think. However, to each his own.
How is it self indulgent ? What if the couple have demanding careers that cause them to be at work a lot or on travel ? Then they would be guilty of neglect. What if they simply don't feel it is safe in this day and age to bring children into the world ? What if they grew up in an abusive home themselves and don't feel they can handle the pressure of being a parent ?
 
Old 06-23-2009, 05:17 AM
 
767 posts, read 1,783,143 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainegirl View Post
How is it self indulgent ? What if the couple have demanding careers that cause them to be at work a lot or on travel ? Then they would be guilty of neglect. What if they simply don't feel it is safe in this day and age to bring children into the world ? What if they grew up in an abusive home themselves and don't feel they can handle the pressure of being a parent ?
I know several people who are in a position financially and personally to have kids and raise them in great homes. They have chosen not to go that route because of the personal sacrifice it would take (e.g., fewer trips, less eating out, less personal time, etc.). To me anyway, that is a bit self-indulgent (and, just to clarify, we are all self-indulgent in our own ways). People not in a position to have kids or perhaps do not want to bring kids into a world that they view as being very messed up do not fall into this category. Sorrry for any miscommunication.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 05:40 AM
 
Location: USA
1,107 posts, read 2,519,942 times
Reputation: 946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Central Illinois 1 View Post
I know several people who are in a position financially and personally to have kids and raise them in great homes. They have chosen not to go that route because of the personal sacrifice it would take (e.g., fewer trips, less eating out, less personal time, etc.). To me anyway, that is a bit self-indulgent (and, just to clarify, we are all self-indulgent in our own ways).
Gotcha. I guess in that case, they are making a good decision to not have children. There are way too many latch-key kids out there.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 05:50 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,286 posts, read 16,128,557 times
Reputation: 11269
Quote:
Originally Posted by sickofnyc99 View Post
Ah yes wikipedia nobodys ever wrong on that site. Sorry, but there are way too many conflicts of interest between pharma and researchers even at the almighty CDC to trust the numbers blindly. Like I said before, my kids not getting vaccinated. Period.

WOW......

good thing that the hundreds of thousands to millions of children before yours who have received vaccines over the last decades have pretty much wiped out these diseases........

of course, there have been articles in recent years about some of the diseases making a reappearance.... not smallpox, but measles, mumps, etc. because of people like you who refuse to vaccinate.....

how are you going to get your child into school without these vaccinations?? or will he or she be home-schooled??
 
Old 06-23-2009, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 12,763,334 times
Reputation: 3536
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainegirl View Post
How is it self indulgent ? What if the couple have demanding careers that cause them to be at work a lot or on travel ? Then they would be guilty of neglect. What if they simply don't feel it is safe in this day and age to bring children into the world ? What if they grew up in an abusive home themselves and don't feel they can handle the pressure of being a parent ?
Please don't entertain people who feel people who don't have children are "self-indulgent" or "selfish." They probably regret having their own children and can't spend their time how they want.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 08:39 AM
 
Location: USA
1,107 posts, read 2,519,942 times
Reputation: 946
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleLove08 View Post
Please don't entertain people who feel people who don't have children are "self-indulgent" or "selfish." They probably regret having their own children and can't spend their time how they want.
Eh... she's entitled to her opinion just like the rest of us.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,217 posts, read 4,112,847 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
If you keep calling out, you WILL be terminated. Plain and simple. You're undependable, if you're frequently calling out. I've seen people fired for that very thing.

Duh? I was never arguing that.

What I was pointing out, however, is that your selfish "go to work" sick attitude is what causes problems for parents.

How?

Simple.
You are sick. YOu go to work anyway spreading your germs all throughout the office. Perhaps you used a phone that now someone else will pick up and use..you've not spread your sick germs to that mother/father.

Who then goes home and kisses their little one hello (or little ones). Those germs are now passed on to the kid.

Best case scenario.. parent doesn't get sick, but the kid does . If there is more than one sibling then you better bet each one will get it and usually staggered .. meaning not at the same time.

That parent now has to call in sick to tend to the sick child that was sick becuase YOU showed up to work sick.

And yea.. if people keep spreading their damned germs by insisting that they go to work even when they are sick, you bet that that parent is going to end up with children who are sick a lot and thereby need to call in sick often. And THAT puts their jobs at risk.

So you see why going into work sick is indeed selfish AND negatively affects others beyond just spreading the sickness to them? THIS is what you need to consider next time you THINK you are being so noble by going to work sick.

Your not.. your being selfish. Period.

BTW.. parents usually do end up sick ..especially after they have nursed all their kids back from whatever bug ailed them. It doesn't always hit right away.

and not always having a bug in the house is what makes you sick. The bug is introduced but if someone is stressed, lacks sleep or for whatever reason is immuno compromised or weaker they will get sick. As i have said, I have avoided the colds that have swept through my house this past winter and that most likely has to do with the fact that my system is probably stronger due to excercise and eating healthier. ..which is a luxury no all parents can afford.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
5,217 posts, read 4,112,847 times
Reputation: 908
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleLove08 View Post
Please don't entertain people who feel people who don't have children are "self-indulgent" or "selfish." They probably regret having their own children and can't spend their time how they want.
]

Some people are self indulgent. .. some are just making choices based on their ability to provide, care for and love a child or because they do not want to bring children into whatever environment they are in.

Either way, whatever choice they make/made is their own choice , irregardless of the reasons and no one should be lumped into a category based on their choice.
 
Old 06-23-2009, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Pinal County, Arizona
25,107 posts, read 34,366,957 times
Reputation: 4893
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleLove08 View Post
Please don't entertain people who feel people who don't have children are "self-indulgent" or "selfish." They probably regret having their own children and can't spend their time how they want.
My wife and I are friends with a couple who made a life changing decision

Both are Lawyers for large, well know firms here where I live. Both were making "Mega" bucks. There were no plans for kids. They actually were using some "protection". But, sometimes protection does not work. The wife became pregnant.

They were Pro-Choice so one of their options was abortion. Another option was, of course, to have the baby.

Well, they chose to have the baby AND the woman / mother decided to resign from the law firm and put her career completely on hold - and stay home and be a Mom, not a Lawyer - at least until their child started to go to grade school.

There daughter is adorable - and it will be another 2 years til grade school. "Mom" and "Dad" have no regrets whatsoever. It did put a crimp in their lifestyle to be sure but, no regrets.

My question to you is, what is your opinion of a Woman who does something like this?
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