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Old 06-23-2009, 12:29 PM
Location: wrong planet
5,115 posts, read 10,031,894 times
Reputation: 4133


That is her CHOICE isn't it? No one should be forced to BE a parent - or NOT be one.
Pretty simple.
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau

forum rules, please read them

Old 06-23-2009, 12:32 PM
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,285 posts, read 16,124,531 times
Reputation: 11269
Originally Posted by Central Illinois 1 View Post
I know several people who are in a position financially and personally to have kids and raise them in great homes. They have chosen not to go that route because of the personal sacrifice it would take (e.g., fewer trips, less eating out, less personal time, etc.). To me anyway, that is a bit self-indulgent (and, just to clarify, we are all self-indulgent in our own ways). People not in a position to have kids or perhaps do not want to bring kids into a world that they view as being very messed up do not fall into this category. Sorrry for any miscommunication.

and this is wrong because?????
Old 06-23-2009, 01:16 PM
1,047 posts, read 2,045,334 times
Reputation: 412
Originally Posted by katzenfreund View Post
That is her CHOICE isn't it? No one should be forced to BE a parent - or NOT be one.
Pretty simple.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?

I have enough business of my own to attend to without worrying what other people are or aren't doing with their bodies.
Old 06-23-2009, 01:22 PM
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 12,761,482 times
Reputation: 3536
Originally Posted by Greatday View Post
My wife and I are friends with a couple who made a life changing decision

Both are Lawyers for large, well know firms here where I live. Both were making "Mega" bucks. There were no plans for kids. They actually were using some "protection". But, sometimes protection does not work. The wife became pregnant.

They were Pro-Choice so one of their options was abortion. Another option was, of course, to have the baby.

Well, they chose to have the baby AND the woman / mother decided to resign from the law firm and put her career completely on hold - and stay home and be a Mom, not a Lawyer - at least until their child started to go to grade school.

There daughter is adorable - and it will be another 2 years til grade school. "Mom" and "Dad" have no regrets whatsoever. It did put a crimp in their lifestyle to be sure but, no regrets.

My question to you is, what is your opinion of a Woman who does something like this?
I don't care, as long as she is happy and isn't going around expecting other people to become a parent because SHE is a parent.

My disdain is for parents who feel just because they have kids, you should have them too or because they sacrificed their boy, free time, careers, or whatever...you should too.

We all have choices to make in life and if you chose to be a parent, don't try to make those who choose not to have children feel bad.
I don't ever feel bad for not wanting children but I know some people don't have that strong sense of self like I do.
Old 06-23-2009, 02:09 PM
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,266,772 times
Reputation: 10915
Originally Posted by TristansMommy View Post
Duh? I was never arguing that.

What I was pointing out, however, is that your selfish "go to work" sick attitude is what causes problems for parents.


You are sick. YOu go to work anyway spreading your germs all throughout the office. Perhaps you used a phone that now someone else will pick up and use..you've not spread your sick germs to that mother/father.

Who then goes home and kisses their little one hello (or little ones). Those germs are now passed on to the kid.

Best case scenario.. parent doesn't get sick, but the kid does . If there is more than one sibling then you better bet each one will get it and usually staggered .. meaning not at the same time.

That parent now has to call in sick to tend to the sick child that was sick becuase YOU showed up to work sick.

And yea.. if people keep spreading their damned germs by insisting that they go to work even when they are sick, you bet that that parent is going to end up with children who are sick a lot and thereby need to call in sick often. And THAT puts their jobs at risk.

So you see why going into work sick is indeed selfish AND negatively affects others beyond just spreading the sickness to them? THIS is what you need to consider next time you THINK you are being so noble by going to work sick.

Your not.. your being selfish. Period.

BTW.. parents usually do end up sick ..especially after they have nursed all their kids back from whatever bug ailed them. It doesn't always hit right away.

and not always having a bug in the house is what makes you sick. The bug is introduced but if someone is stressed, lacks sleep or for whatever reason is immuno compromised or weaker they will get sick. As i have said, I have avoided the colds that have swept through my house this past winter and that most likely has to do with the fact that my system is probably stronger due to excercise and eating healthier. ..which is a luxury no all parents can afford.
Hello? Not being a medical professional, not even I can claim to be sick. I can be said to be suffering certain symptoms, but it could be an allergic reaction as easily as it could be bronchitis. I could have hay fever, and not even know it. I don't go to doctors--if there's a problem, I deal with the symptoms and MOVE ON.
Old 06-23-2009, 02:51 PM
Location: Santa Barbara
1,474 posts, read 2,585,312 times
Reputation: 942
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
"Not wanting kids when you can have them is a bit self-indulgent I think."
Could you expand on your thinking? It seems to imply that there is a requirement that people have kids if they can. Where does that requirement come from? The need to support Social Security? Religion that wants more members and abhors sex for love or pleasure?
Please, do explain how I and people like me have been self-indulgent. Seems to me that people who have kids out of choice all do so because they *want* to- isn't that self-indulgent?
Spare me any martyrs who had kids and now feel self-righteous and martyred about it.
Thank you for responding. You said what I was thinking but more eloquently than I would have.
Old 06-23-2009, 06:19 PM
1,117 posts, read 1,747,010 times
Reputation: 965
Having children is a personal choice. Period.

For me, having children would ruin my life. Yuck. Is that selfish? Probably. But what do I care? I don't owe the world my spawn. I'm one of billions...basically a nobody. The fact that I chose not to have children is profoundly insignificant to the world.
Old 06-23-2009, 08:13 PM
Location: exit 0
4,119 posts, read 2,868,387 times
Reputation: 5219
Several pages ago this thread ceased being a "Great Debate." This thread is now closed.

Please reread the rules and expectations for this forum.
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