U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 06-04-2009, 12:37 PM
 
2,252 posts, read 4,312,915 times
Reputation: 3709

Advertisements

I got married because I love my spouse and would not trade my marriage for anything in the world.

I never wanted kids. Still don't. My spouse feels exactly the same way. We have zero regrets that we didn't have kids. I do not judge people who have kids. It's none of my business. People make life choices and you have to do what you know is right for you and not let anyone else influence you.

Everything in our life makes sense. There's no feeling that there is something missing. I don't care what anyone else thinks. We're happy, healthy and content with our decision.

And a huge BRAVO to Moosketeer for the best post I've read in a long, long time.

 
Old 06-04-2009, 12:50 PM
 
3,566 posts, read 4,491,128 times
Reputation: 1846
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?

It does not matter one iota what someone decides to do. It is very small minded for someone to state that it is abnormal.

I don't like the push and pull of societies norms in respect to relationships. Specifically, married v single, children v child free. Its ignorant.

It is a personal choice and one that you have to live with. So, you don't want children, Good on You!!!
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:10 PM
 
6,952 posts, read 8,878,222 times
Reputation: 7800
It always throws me when someone considers it abnormal or tragic that someone is planning not to have kids. It's not as if we were dangerously underpopulated or anything. By me, it helps to have more couples and singles free to devote themselves to other things -- teaching other people's kids to read, developing a car that runs on chicken manure or ending the AIDS problem in Africa.
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:12 PM
 
3,566 posts, read 4,491,128 times
Reputation: 1846
Does it matter if they decide not to do those things?
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:24 PM
 
2,382 posts, read 6,077,446 times
Reputation: 2029
I will put my two cents in,we are in our 70's had four children,we lost the best a Denver policeman at age 30 to brain cancer,one is transgender,another is schitzophrenic (don't remember spelling) and last daughter with 2 divorces now doing fine.This is our golden years!!
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
7,308 posts, read 6,905,088 times
Reputation: 7475
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post

I'm not saying you should have kids just to have friends. I'm just preparing you for what you will be dealing with in your social life.
I'm sorry you had such an apparently bad experience with your decision. But just because that was your experience, doesn't mean that's how others' lives will unfold for them. My husband and I are in our 40s and childless, and we have no trouble finding friends, be they with children or without.
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:50 PM
 
6,185 posts, read 13,846,249 times
Reputation: 4456
Many, many people DO have kids when they NEVER should have kids. Moosketeer represents the views of many people, and unfortunately, some of them end up having kids anyway.

DanBev knows the reality -- that you can't predict the future. Kids may bring you great joy or great heartache or both. NEVER have kids if you think they're going to act as old-age insurance!

And the #$*!&# about something MAGICAL happening when you have kids, and childless couples won't know the magic unless they EXPERIENCE it! ...BALONEY!!!

I'm always knew I'd be a parent, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I know many others who should never have been parents.

I wish people would be more true to themselves and not succumb to peer pressure about parenthood.

It's no one's business if you choose not to have kids. How rude for anyone to say otherwise.
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,273,555 times
Reputation: 10915
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
I don't identify with people who don't like or aren't interested in kids, I'll be honest. But I do respect anybody who feels that way's decision not to have children. I can't think of anything worse for a kid than being born to somebody who doesn't particularly like or want kids, but buckled under. Everybody is free to make their own decisions, whether or not I personally identify with their stances is pretty irrelevant.

I do think it's pretty interesting if people who are upset about being judged for not wanting children turn around and are judgmental of children and/or people who do choose to have them.

I don't have kids, but I plan to, and it always irritates me when people who are childless are openly rude to people with kids in public. I understand not wanting to be a parent (I don't want to be a parent at present time because I'm too young and not as financially prepared as I'd like to be). I don't understand being a child-hater (and, no, I'm not equating the two, but there is obviously definite overlap).
It's not the child we blame when the child misbehaves, it's the poor parenting skills of his or her producers.
 
Old 06-04-2009, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,989 posts, read 4,467,976 times
Reputation: 2733
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZugZub View Post
The sole "problem" I see with couples who don't want kids -- almost without exception they are intelligent and in general pretty successful, so as a race we're selecting for lesser intelligence when the smart, motivated ones don't breed and the less intelligent ones have multiple offspring.
I agree with this, though at least those not having kids are doing their part to help counteract overpopulation.
 
Old 06-04-2009, 02:09 PM
 
353 posts, read 884,840 times
Reputation: 213
I think it's none of anyone's (INSERT WORDS) business other than the husband and wife.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Great Debates
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top