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Old 06-05-2009, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,279,788 times
Reputation: 10915

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violett View Post
Well, what can be guaranteed is that after your friends, siblings and own parents pass on, most people have no one left to care for them except their children.

I don't see it as a burden AT ALL. They took care of me for 51 years, and now I have a chance to give something back. At least, that's the way it's done/seen in my family.
In my family, there's this little thing called "independence". If the kids grow up to be independent of the parents, then the parents would be hypocrites if they couldn't take care of themselves. Luckily, mine are dead and gone.

 
Old 06-05-2009, 06:48 AM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,466,140 times
Reputation: 3869
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
In my family, there's this little thing called "independence". If the kids grow up to be independent of the parents, then the parents would be hypocrites if they couldn't take care of themselves. Luckily, mine are dead and gone.
Wow, that sounds kind of bizarre.

My mom died of cancer recently, and there is NOTHING about it that would have be saying something like that...
 
Old 06-05-2009, 07:00 AM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,466,140 times
Reputation: 3869
Quote:
Originally Posted by GloryB View Post
I think each couple should make up their own minds one way or the other....with NO interference from friends or family.
I tried to rep you on this, but apparently must "spread it around" first.

I'm amazed by the amount of vitriol and insults that are being thrown around here. It's stupid, really.



My wife & I have 3 grown kids. No regrets. We've talked about how maybe we would like to have had 1 or 2 more, but that's obviously not going to happen now! We have a house full of life and great memories, and someday our house will (probably) be filled with grandchildren. Personally, I wouldn't trade that for all the world travels, expensive cars and whatever else being childless might afford. Being childless now carries with it a wonderful and deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

I do think that, at the very core of their souls, most (all?) women want to be mommies. Some probably more than others. But we certainly do live in a "free country", and if people decide to not procreate, that is their choice.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 21,523,143 times
Reputation: 19858
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omaha Rocks View Post
I tried to rep you on this, but apparently must "spread it around" first.

I'm amazed by the amount of vitriol and insults that are being thrown around here. It's stupid, really.



My wife & I have 3 grown kids. No regrets. We've talked about how maybe we would like to have had 1 or 2 more, but that's obviously not going to happen now! We have a house full of life and great memories, and someday our house will (probably) be filled with grandchildren. Personally, I wouldn't trade that for all the world travels, expensive cars and whatever else being childless might afford. Being childless now carries with it a wonderful and deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

I do think that, at the very core of their souls, most (all?) women want to be mommies. Some probably more than others. But we certainly do live in a "free country", and if people decide to not procreate, that is their choice.
I have never, ever wanted to be a "mommie" and many women I know do not want to either.

I think many women are mis-sold a fantasy dream of perfect domesticity which does not always agree with the reality of how women truly feel.
Many women ( and men) end up having kids because that is what they are "supposed" to do , what theya re "supposed" to feel and I can't think of a more tragic reason to have children.

And I do agree that for many people having children is indeed joyful and very fulfilling. Which it should always be but sadly isn't.

I admire good parents, I think they do an immensely difficult and challenging job and it is often un un-appreciated and under-valued one. But it is not for me.

I get satisfaction in my life from many other channels and children would be to me a sure way to unhappiness, sheer boredom and misery. And I do not believe an unhappy parent is always able to be a good parent.

We are all different. Some of us do not have a biological clock, pure and simple. My mother was not maternal, my Grand-Mother was not maternal.

Maybe it is simply a question of genes, I do not know but I know that people who do not want children with all their heart and most importantly with all their brain should not have them .

So many unwanted, abused, abandoned children whose parents should have have taken pause when making that decision.

By pressurising people to have children when it goes against their Natural grain we are creating people with no aptitude to parenting, no real commitment and most of all no love to give their child and to me that is the greatest tragedy of all.

Kids should be the paramount consideration when having children and more often than not they are not. So many people want a little copy of themselves, someone to give meaning to their life, or look after them in oldage , none of them good reasons to procreate.

We all experience life in different ways. For some people children are the be and end of it all. For some life is fulfilling and challenging enough without them. Both points of view are equally valid and neither side should be made to feel like they are somehow wrong in their decisions.

As long as that decision is carefully and intelligently evaluated with great consideation and a clear mind unhindered by rose tinted glasses or vanity.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 08:04 AM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,466,140 times
Reputation: 3869
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
I have never, ever wanted to be a "mommie" and many women I know do not want to either.

I think many women are mis-sold a fantasy dream of perfect domesticity which does not always agree with the reality of how women truly feel.
Many women ( and men) end up having kids because that is what they are "supposed" to do , what theya re "supposed" to feel and I can't think of a more tragic reason to have children.

And I do agree that for many people having children is indeed joyful and very fulfilling. Which it should always be but sadly isn't.

I admire good parents, I think they do an immensely difficult and challenging job and it is often un un-appreciated and under-valued one. But it is not for me.

I get satisfaction in my life from many other channels and children would be to me a sure way to unhappiness, sheer boredom and misery. And I do not believe an unhappy parent is always able to be a good parent.

We are all different. Some of us do not have a biological clock, pure and simple. My mother was not maternal, my Grand-Mother was not maternal.

Maybe it is simply a question of genes, I do not know but I know that people who do not want children with all their heart and most importantly with all their brain should not have them .

So many unwanted, abused, abandoned children whose parents should have have taken pause when making that decision.

By pressurising people to have children when it goes against their Natural grain we are creating people with no aptitude to parenting, no real commitment and most of all no love to give their child and to me that is the greatest tragedy of all.

Kids should be the paramount consideration when having children and more often than not they are not. So many people want a little copy of themselves, someone to give meaning to their life, or look after them in oldage , none of them good reasons to procreate.

We all experience life in different ways. For some people children are the be and end of it all. For some life is fulfilling and challenging enough without them. Both points of view are equally valid and neither side should be made to feel like they are somehow wrong in their decisions.

As long as that decision is carefully and intelligently evaluated with great consideation and a clear mind unhindered by rose tinted glasses or vanity.
Sounds to me like you should not have children.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 08:44 AM
 
985 posts, read 2,301,298 times
Reputation: 722
Most people who don't want children are like everyone else, just sans the desire to reproduce. That pretty much sums it up. Of course, there are a few crazies but one can find those in any group.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Midwest
3,710 posts, read 6,720,236 times
Reputation: 5639
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?
There's something wrong with your friend.
Ask her why she needs to intrude her values on your life.

Actually I think she did you a favor.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 08:58 AM
 
1,047 posts, read 2,045,866 times
Reputation: 412
Biblical scholars say that me having children would be the third sign of the apocolypse. I've wisely decided that for the good of the world, I will remain childless.

You don't all have to thank me.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 09:04 AM
 
2,385 posts, read 3,705,265 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
In my family, there's this little thing called "independence". If the kids grow up to be independent of the parents, then the parents would be hypocrites if they couldn't take care of themselves. Luckily, mine are dead and gone.
You can't help if you start losing your mental capabilities as you get older. If you would kick your parents out on the street if this had happened to them, it's your choice, but it seems a little heartless to me.
 
Old 06-05-2009, 09:06 AM
 
2,385 posts, read 3,705,265 times
Reputation: 2395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
I have never, ever wanted to be a "mommie" and many women I know do not want to either.

I think many women are mis-sold a fantasy dream of perfect domesticity which does not always agree with the reality of how women truly feel.
Many women ( and men) end up having kids because that is what they are "supposed" to do , what theya re "supposed" to feel and I can't think of a more tragic reason to have children.

And I do agree that for many people having children is indeed joyful and very fulfilling. Which it should always be but sadly isn't.

I admire good parents, I think they do an immensely difficult and challenging job and it is often un un-appreciated and under-valued one. But it is not for me.

I get satisfaction in my life from many other channels and children would be to me a sure way to unhappiness, sheer boredom and misery. And I do not believe an unhappy parent is always able to be a good parent.

We are all different. Some of us do not have a biological clock, pure and simple. My mother was not maternal, my Grand-Mother was not maternal.

Maybe it is simply a question of genes, I do not know but I know that people who do not want children with all their heart and most importantly with all their brain should not have them .

So many unwanted, abused, abandoned children whose parents should have have taken pause when making that decision.

By pressurising people to have children when it goes against their Natural grain we are creating people with no aptitude to parenting, no real commitment and most of all no love to give their child and to me that is the greatest tragedy of all.

Kids should be the paramount consideration when having children and more often than not they are not. So many people want a little copy of themselves, someone to give meaning to their life, or look after them in oldage , none of them good reasons to procreate.

We all experience life in different ways. For some people children are the be and end of it all. For some life is fulfilling and challenging enough without them. Both points of view are equally valid and neither side should be made to feel like they are somehow wrong in their decisions.

As long as that decision is carefully and intelligently evaluated with great consideation and a clear mind unhindered by rose tinted glasses or vanity.
I think you need to go post in the abortion thread. I'd love to hear what the staunchly Pro-Lifers would have to say about people who feel the way you do being forced to become a parent.
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