What Do You Think Of Couples Who Don't Want Children? (Iraq, support)

[annika08]

My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?

[TKramar]

I fully support it--I'm the same way. Kids are a distraction to the relationship, when you could be focusing on each other instead. My stepbrother and his wife have been married like 20 years, and haven't had any kids either.

[Violett]

I don't think it's abnormal in that you're defective for not wanting them, but evolutionarily speaking, you're only here on Earth to duplicate yourself.

What happens in old age? That's the thing. Who's going to take care of you, and love you enough to make sure you get treated well when your spouse passes on? I don't want to be shut-up somewhere in a nursing home with no visitors.

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by Violett

I don't think it's abnormal in that you're defective for not wanting them, but evolutionarily speaking, you're only here on Earth to duplicate yourself.

What happens in old age? That's the thing. Who's going to take care of you, and love you enough to make sure you get treated well when your spouse passes on? I don't want to be shut-up somewhere in a nursing home with no visitors.

Having kids is no guarantee that won't happen anyway. I wouldn't take my parents in--after all they'd done to me, nor would my sisters.

EDIT: Even if you're the best of parents, it's still no guarantee. And you shouldn't be a burden to your kids anyhow.

[Violett]

Originally Posted by TKramar

Having kids is no guarantee that won't happen anyway. I wouldn't take my parents in--after all they'd done to me, nor would my sisters.

well, ok, but I'm not planning on being a crappy parent

[mainegirl]

Originally Posted by annika08

My husband and I do not want children-ever. We've always felt this way but made the firm decision when he came home from Iraq. We are the only married couple inside of our circle of friends without children.

When I told an acquaintance that we weren't having children, she gasped and said "Oh my God, that is so abnormal. Is there something wrong with you?"

Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that in this day and age, there are people who don't want kids?

What are your opinions?

I think it's your decision, and anyone that judges you for it is being unfair. A lot of people don't want to have children for various reasons, which is their business, nobody elses. There are so many children born to abusive and neglectful parents in this country, and the way that the world has become, I think it's harder on children. You can't take your eyes off them for a second because of all the dangers out there.

I say good for you and your hubby, don't let the judgmental people get you down.

[dramamama6685]

Originally Posted by mainegirl

I think it's your decision, and anyone that judges you for it is being unfair. A lot of people don't want to have children for various reasons, which is their business, nobody elses. There are so many children born to abusive and neglectful parents in this country, and the way that the world has become, I think it's harder on children. You can't take your eyes off them for a second because of all the dangers out there.

I say good for you and your hubby, don't let the judgmental people get you down.

Well said. My DD is only 20, but has told me that if I wanted grandchildren, I should have had another child. She is in a LTR and says he's okay with it. They have to be happy with their choice and if folks don't want kids, it's definitely noone's business but theirs.

[Robert_J]

Originally Posted by Violett

What happens in old age? That's the thing. Who's going to take care of you, and love you enough to make sure you get treated well when your spouse passes on? I don't want to be shut-up somewhere in a nursing home with no visitors.

I won't get to that point. I've already told my wife that I'll have a gun cleaning 'accident'. If I can't do it, she will do it for me. I'll do the same for her. We will not be apart.

We are both 40 and no kids by choice. We love our neices and nephews but after a few hours they can go back to their parents. Our cats are much easier to take care of.

-Robert

[BrokenTap]

I used to feel that way too. And the thing is, I just don't think people without children truly understand. There is nothing wrong with it...if you don't know what you are missing, then there is no way you will ever know.

But after having a child I will say this. I always wondered "what the meaning of life is." Once you hold a new born baby that you have given life to, you will always understand.

The meaning of life is to create life. Period.

[mainegirl]

Originally Posted by BrokenTap

I used to feel that way too. And the thing is, I just don't think people without children truly understand. There is nothing wrong with it...

She didn't say there was anything wrong with it. She said she and her husband CHOOSE not to have children.

Originally Posted by BrokenTap

if you don't know what you are missing, then there is no way you will ever know.

What if she chooses not to find out ? Obviously, the original poster and her husband have discussed this, and have made a decision that they feel is right for them.

Originally Posted by BrokenTap

The meaning of life is to create life. Period.

Maybe for you, and that's wonderful for you, but you can't pigeon hole and decide what is the right thing to do for everyone when it comes to having children or not. There are plenty of people who do not have children that are wonderful, and caring that have contributed a lot to better the world in other ways.