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Old 06-13-2009, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Hollywood North
428 posts, read 1,023,338 times
Reputation: 725

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Quote:
Originally Posted by indie05 View Post
I keep thinking of this question in my head.

If a girl gets pregnant she has the option to keep the baby or not. The man however does not seem to have any say.... I mean he can't tell her she should keep the baby if she doesn't want it , because it is her body and on the flip side, if he doesn't want to have the baby and she does...her decision trumps...the man is then called a poor father if he is not involved or doesn't support financially... I think that it's not fair to the men.(I am a woman btw)

I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....

So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?
I think it's fair. What is the alternative? Men forcing women to have abortions or tying them down and forcing them to carry a baby to term? Yes her decision "trumps", that is just how it is. If you don't want a baby then you don't have to have sex. I am a man and I discussed this issue with the women I dated and I told them my feelings on abortion. I did not want to take the risk that she could get pregnant and decide to abort. If she told me that she'd get an abortion then the relationship usually didn't last and I only had sex knowing that she was on the pill and I ALWAYS used protection. It's not 100% but short of being abstinate(not going to happen) it was the best I could do to greatly minimize the chance of unexpected pregnancy. My wife and I discsussed the possibility of unplanned pregnancy and we are both on the same page, so that is a relief. I am pro choice but I never wanted to be in a situation where a woman would abort my baby, so I did all I could to never get in that situation...it worked...never had to deal with it .
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Old 06-13-2009, 04:53 PM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
38,803 posts, read 19,574,286 times
Reputation: 35847
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
This is where being an adult and being responsible comes into play. If a couple chooses to have sex, then they together need to be responsible about birth control. If they are not and the woman gets pregnant, yes, it is usually ultimately up to her what happens with the baby. That is mostly because it is her body and her that must carry the baby. For the most part if a good birth control method is used and used consistently, it works. If she became pregnant because no birth control was used or was not used properly or every time, then he is 50% to blame for that. If she chooses to keep the baby and raise it then he should be 50% responsible for its care financially.
And what if the man wants the baby and the woman wants to abort? After all ... It is 50% his ...
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Old 06-13-2009, 04:57 PM
 
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
38,803 posts, read 19,574,286 times
Reputation: 35847
Quote:
Originally Posted by yukiko11 View Post
Doesn't matter how long the stick is. This is all about the baby that these two people created. They're desires no longer matter. This child has to have the best upbringing that these two people can accomplish together or apart. Men. If you don't want to have this heartache, keep it in your pants and let those women who want to get pregnant do it with someone else.
Women, if you dont want to have this heartache, keep your legs closed and let those men who need to sow their seed do it with to somewhere else.
Eventually, if you wait, you will all find the right person to have children with.
Exactly! Best post yet
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Old 06-13-2009, 05:01 PM
 
901 posts, read 2,611,582 times
Reputation: 562
Quote:
Originally Posted by msconnie73 View Post
And what if the man wants the baby and the woman wants to abort? After all ... It is 50% his ...
Are things going to ever be equal? Probably not. If a woman decides she wants a baby bad enough, she can go to a sperm bank and concieve. If a man really wants his own biological baby, he would have a much harder time trying to make it happen because their are no womb banks.

Biologically, men and women are different. Sorry, that's just the way things are. If men really don't want to have a child, then get a vasectomy (sp?). If you don't want to have the surgery, make sure that you always use a condom and encourage your woman to use another method of BC .
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Old 06-13-2009, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Hollywood North
428 posts, read 1,023,338 times
Reputation: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by msconnie73 View Post
And what if the man wants the baby and the woman wants to abort? After all ... It is 50% his ...
not until it comes out.
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Old 06-14-2009, 01:08 AM
 
1,779 posts, read 2,038,206 times
Reputation: 616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
He had plenty of say, he didn't have to sleep with her when he didn't know her well enough to know for sure she was on birth control. He could have worn a condom or used some of the birth control pills that are coming out for men now.
Women have just as many if not more resources than men to practice safe sex. But I agree if you dont want to have a child....wrap it up.

Quote:
Men want the right to go about spreading their seed where they wish with no consequences, thats just not reality. The cleanup and responsibility is left in the lap of the woman, so of course she has the choice of what to do with her body. Just as the man had the choice to keep his pants zipped or use a condom.
Women do this as well and from what I see today...younger girls these days are more sexually active than most boys.
Quote:
Its time everyone realized that sex isn't something you can do with the casualness of a handshake, there are huge consequences like unwanted children and sexually transmitted disease. Thats just the reality. Wake up, smell the coffee, you guys are no longer 13 years olds looking for some place to stick it.
Wow, you must have some build up anger with men...women do this too..
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Old 06-14-2009, 01:09 AM
 
1,779 posts, read 2,038,206 times
Reputation: 616
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
So if it takes two to tango, then it takes TWO to be responsible, not just one.

And the father doesn't have the right to make a decision about an abortion because a pregnancy is in the woman's body.

And yeah, he does have a choice. Don't have sex, or be very, very careful about birth control.
This is an unbalanced opinion...Women have just as much control when it comes to having sex. Blaming men for the pregnancy is a load of crap...Since men do not have a say if the child is born or not I do not think that a woman should either. Yes there are valid reasons for an abortion....but there are also valid reasons for a man to not want to have and support a child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
And yes, it does take "two to tango," which is why men should be expected to shoulder their part of the responsibility.
As should the woman...there are just as many bad mothers as fathers out there...society just sees it as it is tough to raise a child alone...neglect, abuse, and other such things should not be overlooked becasue the man didnt want the child. Alot of single mothers out there simply dont want the father around...but still want his money...If he isnt abusive or a criminal then he deserves as much right to the child as the woman...Children need both parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jsqueezer View Post
Jeez... are men EVER going to be responsible for their actions? Oh yeah... call the woman a ****. She lured the poor guy into her bed. He didn't WANNA have sex! She tricked him!
Both sexes are responsible for the act of sex...you cannot blame one without blaming the other as well.
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Old 06-14-2009, 07:51 AM
 
750 posts, read 1,234,459 times
Reputation: 1807
Quote:
Originally Posted by msconnie73 View Post
And what if the man wants the baby and the woman wants to abort? After all ... It is 50% his ...
See, this is what I don't get. So it's "50% his". Does this mean he gets to tie her up in his basement and force her to deliver the child? What, exactly, would you suggest?

Do we need to (according to some posters I'm reading) come up with a law to force her to stay pregnant for 9 months, deliver a child and hand it over to the father? I won't even get into cases of rape or incest. Is forced pregnancy the solution?

Where is this going?
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Old 06-14-2009, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Chicago- Lawrence and Kedzie/Maywood
2,242 posts, read 5,435,992 times
Reputation: 735
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsqueezer View Post
See, this is what I don't get. So it's "50% his". Does this mean he gets to tie her up in his basement and force her to deliver the child? What, exactly, would you suggest?

Do we need to (according to some posters I'm reading) come up with a law to force her to stay pregnant for 9 months, deliver a child and hand it over to the father? I won't even get into cases of rape or incest. Is forced pregnancy the solution?

Where is this going?
So a woman shouldn't endure 9 months of pregnancy if the father wants his child to be born.
But a man is forced to pay for 18 years if he does not want a child?

And please shut up with that "He should of not had sex" Because the female had sex too.
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Old 06-14-2009, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Maine
898 posts, read 1,194,624 times
Reputation: 554
Quote:
Originally Posted by indie05 View Post
I keep thinking of this question in my head.

If a girl gets pregnant she has the option to keep the baby or not. The man however does not seem to have any say.... I mean he can't tell her she should keep the baby if she doesn't want it , because it is her body and on the flip side, if he doesn't want to have the baby and she does...her decision trumps...the man is then called a poor father if he is not involved or doesn't support financially... I think that it's not fair to the men.(I am a woman btw)

I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....

So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?
He had his say in it before conception. He could have chosen to keep his fly zipped up.
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