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Old 06-11-2009, 01:26 PM
 
199 posts, read 569,445 times
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I keep thinking of this question in my head.

If a girl gets pregnant she has the option to keep the baby or not. The man however does not seem to have any say.... I mean he can't tell her she should keep the baby if she doesn't want it , because it is her body and on the flip side, if he doesn't want to have the baby and she does...her decision trumps...the man is then called a poor father if he is not involved or doesn't support financially... I think that it's not fair to the men.(I am a woman btw)

I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....

So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:00 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,332,656 times
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This is where being an adult and being responsible comes into play. If a couple chooses to have sex, then they together need to be responsible about birth control. If they are not and the woman gets pregnant, yes, it is usually ultimately up to her what happens with the baby. That is mostly because it is her body and her that must carry the baby. For the most part if a good birth control method is used and used consistently, it works. If she became pregnant because no birth control was used or was not used properly or every time, then he is 50% to blame for that. If she chooses to keep the baby and raise it then he should be 50% responsible for its care financially.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:43 PM
 
10,630 posts, read 22,748,468 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
This is where being an adult and being responsible comes into play. If a couple chooses to have sex, then they together need to be responsible about birth control. If they are not and the woman gets pregnant, yes, it is usually ultimately up to her what happens with the baby. That is mostly because it is her body and her that must carry the baby. For the most part if a good birth control method is used and used consistently, it works. If she became pregnant because no birth control was used or was not used properly or every time, then he is 50% to blame for that. If she chooses to keep the baby and raise it then he should be 50% responsible for its care financially.
I completely agree with this. Yes, sometimes birth control fails, but overall if a man is going to have sex than he needs to take his share of responsibility for the potential outcome. It's not just about what's fair for the man or the woman, but what's fair for the child. And yes, it does take "two to tango," which is why men should be expected to shoulder their part of the responsibility.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Washington DC
5,915 posts, read 7,084,905 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by indie05 View Post
I keep thinking of this question in my head.

If a girl gets pregnant she has the option to keep the baby or not. The man however does not seem to have any say.... I mean he can't tell her she should keep the baby if she doesn't want it , because it is her body and on the flip side, if he doesn't want to have the baby and she does...her decision trumps...the man is then called a poor father if he is not involved or doesn't support financially... I think that it's not fair to the men.(I am a woman btw)

I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....

So it seems to me that men get the shorter end of the stick on this one.
What are your opinions on this?
No the man has the longer stick in this. If he keeps it zipped up he has no problem.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:48 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,402,860 times
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god made man upright but they have sought out many inventions.
eccl 7:29
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Old 06-11-2009, 06:48 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,971,597 times
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I don't think saying he fathered the baby and hence is responsible holds any water because as everyone knows ..it takes two to tango....

so he should not take any responsibility for the outcome of the pregnancy should the woman chose to take her pregnancy to term? he may not have the ultimate choice in saying what his desires would be if a sexual encounter ends in a pregnancy, that doesn't mean he need not be concerned.
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Old 06-11-2009, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,294 posts, read 20,544,645 times
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Being a woman, I just don't think it is fair. Yes it is my choice, my body. But what if the man wants to keep the baby. I don't and terminate HIS child. Why shouldn't I be held responsible in the same way a man is?

And the flip side. The woman wants to keep the baby the man doesn't. Why should he be forced into fatherhood? Yes it takes two to tango, but it is also unfair to force him into fatherhood. He has no say no choice.

No idea what the right answer is, but it is a very grey area.
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Old 06-11-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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So if it takes two to tango, then it takes TWO to be responsible, not just one.

And the father doesn't have the right to make a decision about an abortion because a pregnancy is in the woman's body.

And yeah, he does have a choice. Don't have sex, or be very, very careful about birth control.
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Old 06-11-2009, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Lynbrook
517 posts, read 2,240,968 times
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Shorter end of the stick?! Let's see...she carries the baby in her body and is most often, the primary caregiver. He is financially responsible for 50% of the baby's expenses if she proves by a blood test that it is his, or if they are legally married. I'm not sure how his end of the stick is shorter. He has a choice before sex, she has a choice too. Although, if agreed by both parties, the father can sign away all rights to the child along with the financial responsibility. The same could hold true for the mother, if the father wanted to take full responsibility. Of course, this is provided that she chooses to give birth.

After conception, she has the ultimate say over her body - provided she lives in a state with access to an abortion facility should she choose to terminate, and has the money to afford it (if he's not willing to pony up half).

Not to mention that laws regarding abortion have been decided predominantly by men...


I think that the person who really gets the short end of the stick in this scenario is the child. He or she has no say in whether they are aborted, brought to term/born, kept, or given up for adoption. They have no say about anything at all.

People should discuss these matters before they have sex, and if they don't want children then they should do everything in their power not to conceive. If they are not on the same page about what they would do if an unwanted pregnancy results then they should make sure it doesn't or they shouldn't be having sex at all.
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Old 06-11-2009, 11:09 PM
 
Location: California
29,580 posts, read 31,907,081 times
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It isn't 'fair' the way only women carry and deliver babies isn't 'fair'. It is what it is.
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