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What classifies as an unselfish reason to have kids? I think some good points are made here, but I think I would want kids one day because it would be a fulfilling addition to my husband and I's (probably worded wrong) life together. Sure, we could be happy without kids...I mean we don't have them now, but I guess there is something a little selfish of wanting a little baby to give all your love to, because it is nice to love someone!
Well yeah I agree with that no doubt. I think we have established that everyone is selfish in some aspect and to some degree.
My complaints are not to parents who are financially and mentally stable and want to add an addition to the family.
My complaints are for the unprepared, unorganized, emotionally/mentally unstable people with little to no money who decide on having kids for selfish reasons, such as the examples I have listed.
There is a HUGE difference between people who are prepared and committed to the life long responsibility of good parenting being "selfish" for their want and need to have children, and the unprepared, disorganized people who decide to have kids with only their best interest in mind...not the kids who are depending on them.
There is certainly a "good selfish" and a "bad selfish". That is one thing I can honestly say I realized by creating and participating in this topic.
Even though I am a self proclaimed introverted misanthrope, I do not like people who use, abuse or take advantage of the vulnerable and innocent and that usually involves, kids, the elderly and animals.
The real number one reason is that we are genetically wired to reproduce. We have an overwhelming desire to engage in activity likely to result in conception. We have a well organized system of mate selection, which has evolved to product the most successful offspring. We are brainwashed from childhood to play house, to prepared boys and girls to play the appropriate roles in producing children and nourishing them.
A great majority of women are wired in such a way that if they do not fulfill their maternal instinct, their mind and their body begin to exhibit withdrawal symptoms.
It takes almost a superhuman effort to resist and overcome the intense drive to have children.
I'm not so sure. I'm a woman and I have no desire at all to have children-and it's not an urge I have to fight. Ever since I was a small child I knew I would never want children. I'm not going to go into those reasons here-that's for another thread. I've met other women who feel the same way I do.
I think just as many women do have the paternal, instinctive need to reproduce, there are those on the other side of the spectrum who don't.
yea, I hate that society kind of 'expects' women to have kids....I do that too sometimes, I'm always like, 'but you'd be so good at it!' We shouldn't be surprised when couples don't want them, especially if they're teachers or something! I can't wait till we have kids though, we need more cash in the bank and I have to go back to school still and I definitely couldn't do it now but one day it would be nice. I agree that you shouldn't have a baby to fix a marriage...but I swear I think I've seen it work before. That sounds so awful but really, I've seen relationships improve after a kid was born. I guess it's because they're so time consuming they don't have time to mess up. You shouldn't do it for that reason though because if your going to have a kid, don't roll the dice.
Selfish single heterosexuals fall into a category of their own on this subject, and it's not ordinarily the heterosexuals who drone on and on about how disgusting it is for people to have children for selfish reasons. It's usually the selfish homosexuals who conjure up ranting posts about how people have children "for selfish reasons" "to keep up with the Joneses" "to entrap a man in a relationship" "to rekindle a stagnant relationship" and then attempt to justify their reasons for not wanting kids by commenting that they are personally selfish and don't want children because they hate kids. People like this most likely blame their mothers for how their lives ended up while jealously ranting on about how heterosexuals have children selfishly. People like this have no business telling heterosexuals what they should do with their bodies
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I have no problem with abortion and think its there for a good reason. If someone had an unplanned pregnancy or was raped and got pregnant, things like that are a tremendous reason to get an abortion.
By the way, there is no "good selfish" and "bad selfish" it's all self indulgent, self serving, and narcissistic. People who worship themselves and place their own needs above the welfare of a child have no business having kids and that goes for heterosexuals who have kids and the gays who adopt them. I don't wanna see gays adopt kids "to keep up with the Jonses", or put on the "my family is just as valid as your family show", or the "we can raise them just as well if not better than a heterosexual couple".
It's all narcissism and selfishness, and people who are selfish have NO BUSINESS HAVING KIDS AT ALL EVER. It's obvious that the kids lose in that regard, so for you to rant on for 5 days about how "people should have kids for this reason or that" means nothing because it's the SELFISH PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS HAVING KIDS AT ALL. Every reason you posted for people not having kids are SELFISH REASONS and I don't care if you want to place "scenarios" on them or not. Selfish narcissistic people like you have no reason having kids. So please get a vasectomy. Oh I forgot, you're gay. Nevermind.
To whomever you were talking to, you shouldn't use being gay as an insult on this thread, but I agree with you that the kid has to come first definitely!
To whomever you were talking to, you shouldn't use being gay as an insult on this thread, but I agree with you that the kid has to come first definitely!
You're the one with the problem being gay. If you think what I posted was a slur against gays that's your problem. Not mine.
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Selfish narcissistic people like you have no reason having kids. So please get a vasectomy. Oh I forgot, you're gay. Nevermind.
A gay who doesn't desire kids wouldn't need a vasectomy would they? Answers that question.
My post wasn't directed specifically toward you. Ordinarily on this message board when we're referring to a particular post we will use the "quote" button to highlight parts of the post we're referring to. My post is a general post for this entire thread. It would be a very long post if I had highlighted every single post from that person so I made a general post to the entire thread and highlighted a specific quote in post #76 that Edison Winter made.
Last edited by LuckyGem; 07-30-2009 at 12:31 PM..
Reason: Clarification
the way it was posted it made it look like I was for abortions...thank you for your reference. However, I don't thank you meant "oh I forgot your gay nevermind" in a kind manner to that man.
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