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That is a very sad story but there are people who are able to have a drink or two at a dinner party or whatever and not turn into a raving, drunk that needs a bottle in their pocket 24/7.
There are users and there are abusers of everything out there. There are people who get Tylenol with codeine from the dentist who get addicted to it and there are those that simply take the medication until the tooth is no longer painful and then move on.
I've seen the holier-than-thou attitudes at office parties that the non-drinkers have towards the people who grab a glass of wine or two. They grab their bottle of Perrier and look down their noses at people sipping a drink as if they're some lowlife that needs a fix.
Weekend binge drinking is something that some/perhaps many young people do. If that's not your thing, don't participate. If you are hanging with a crowd that refuses to accept you socially if you don't drink then you're hanging with the wrong crowd. I don't drink and I've never had that problem.
Perhaps you need to examine your attitude toward the "hollier than thou" folks?
I never felt a need to fit in. I think it is about knowing what you want and will not accept. It is about trusting your inner gut. I have seen times when people get funny if you are not drinking with them. It's their problem not yours............I've always marched to a different drum.
I went to the Northern Ohio islands one time, I was excited about taking a day trip to get out of my college town and get a break. I was looking forward to maybe meeting interesting people or doing something different.
I was completely surprised - shellshocked might be the word - that when I got across the ferry, that basically the only activity that went on at the island was drinking. Bars were full in the middle of the day, and this wasn't "short phase of one's life" college drinking -- these were all middle-age and older adults. People who looked like moms and dads and aunts and uncles -- basically getting blitzed and becoming boors. It wasn't casual drinking going on.
Up until this I had seen the occasional family with an alcoholic dad or mom, but I had never seen an entire island full of adults on an alcohol binge.
I'm really not against a good time, a night out, spring break, college drinking, or honestly I'm not even a supporter of the 21 law. But to see the magnitude of American alcohol culture on that island was just mindblowing. I still don't really know what to make of it.
If you are refering to Put In Bay, it's always like that. People go there for the sole purpose of getting trashed. If you don't drink, don't go there. You will be very bored.
It doesn't need to be the Jobbie Noober fest as annika08 pointed out, that onky gets attention because it has a name, it's truly always a big drunken party.
Why is it a "Requirement" to Drink in Order to Fit in Socially?
You might be hanging around with the wrong crowd. A 'social drinker' shouldn't have a problem with a non-drinker, but the 'drunk and stupid' crowd might.
I drink very infrequently. I know people who describe themselves as "social drinkers" but the problem is : they are always socializing. There are people who change personalities when they ingest alcohol, or particular types of alcohol. Some of them cry, some become aggressive, and obnoxious. I can have a pack of wine coolers in my refridgerator, and not drink any for months. The worst drunks are the ones who absolutely ruin an otherwise enjoyable get together.
Heres the thing. Drinking isnt for everyone. Some people can handle it and others cannot. Some people know how to have a good time others do not. Some people know how to enjoy alcohol and some do not.
Now I can only go so far as to tell you about beer. But beer is a "happy drug". it is mislabeled as a depressant, beer actually enhances moods and is good for you in moderation. Knowing when you have had enough is the only tool to measure this. A good indicator is when your taste buds are no longer working as powerful as they normally do. I usually go for about 4 beers and then I know I am good for awhile. However, I can also handle my alcohol and can easily handle about 10 beers with little effect. I rarly consume as much.
I have never been drunk, never drank as a teenager or young adult and I haven't missed anything and neither will you. People who don't drink live life with eyes wide open, experience much more, have sharper senses and enjoy life immensely. Drunk people lose time and experiences that they would have otherwise enjoyed. So don't waste your time with people who party. Find people like yourself and enjoy life.....it's shorter then you think.
There are many people who don't drink at all, or who only drink one or 2. Some of these people are Presidents (and yes, I know some have formerly had issues...I'm talking about in office). Or Olympic athletes, or Tiger Woods, or the Dalai Lama. These people couldn't do what they're doing every single day, if they were hanging out in bars and hotel rooms with immature children who think puking is a sign of success.
Yes, people in all walks of life drink, are drunks, have addictions. Or attend church, lead a religion, are in politics. However, those in the public eye aren't worse than anyone else, it's just that it's public and higher expectiations of them.
My point is that, to excel in life spiritually, as a leader, as a compassionate helper of others, as just a reasonably happy human being, one often has to part from the crowd.
I'm impressed you're learning this lesson young, some learn it in their teens, others not until older and have had cancer or family die, or at any age when one sees the falacy of following the crowd.
I mean, who wants to fit in with a bunch of puking, broke, health-destroying, miserable people? Do you want that for a month, a year, 10 years? To throw away valuable life time hungover?
I can see you don't.
Of course, people are going to accuse you of being pollyanna, goodie two-shoes, holier than thou, religious fanatic, hypocrite. Remember--whatever someone labels you, they are in truth labeling themselves. Don't take it personally--what others think of you is none of your business!
I would rather be alone and desperately lonely that wasting time in a bar, trying to fit in with people with whom I have nothing in common. I've wasted much of my precious time on this planet trying to fit in, excel, be a success, all that crap--so others could know me and like me, so I could fit in.
A year ago, as a result of my meditation practice and reading mystics, I lost interest in watching movies that have sex, violence and destructive themes. I used to like a lot of those kinds of movies. But just that small change, wanting to clear my heart and mind of violence and lust distractions--my word it's incredible how threatened even my ultra-liberal Episcopalian friends are by this! It's bizarre!!
I've done a bit of drinking in my life, I know that scene though I never was much into bars or group drinking. No, I was a nice little yuppie, dining and drinking champagne and fine wine. What garbage! Even when I stopped that, my "dining" friends gave me evile eyes, put me down, were angry (but never had the courage to say why.) I was happy to be their designated driver, you'd think they'd love me more, lol.
You may have to spend more time on your own until you connect with non-drunken friends; that's okay, use that time to study, research and build your career, volunteer, read more books, sleep! Take up juicing or building cabinets or writing music. I promise you the world is full of people just like you, with whom you can connect...but you won't find them with the crowd you describe in your OP (unless there's someone sober, like you.)
Peace to you.
p.s. re "overly mature for my age" that applies to all ages. Young 'uns don't have a corner on drinking, drugs, poor choices; it's just that older folks have become more adept at either hiding it or blending in or being excused for lousy behaviour because they have job and family.
Last edited by TwoYearsMax; 08-29-2009 at 05:33 PM..
Reason: font
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Why is it a "Requirement" to Drink in Order to Fit in Socially?
What others think of me is none of my business.
