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I think parents spoil their children way too much, and are way too permissive with them. I am stupefied at the lack of willpower many adults have for punishment. You see kids who go out to do chores for about 10 minutes then come back and say "This is hard, I'm doing something else" and the parent threatens punishment...nothing happens. The parent goes out and finishes it and the kid does what they want.
You can see the repercussions in most of the reality shows...My Super Sweet 16, Bridezillas, I love New York, most of The Real World's. Everyone has become the king or queen of their little kingdom (their life) and they get what they want from their servants (friends and family). The nice thing is that most people like this either self destruct or learn a really painful lesson about how life works once they are around people that don't have to put up with their crap. Which is amusing to watch
Protected is not the term that I would use to describe this problem.
I think that today's youth are far too spoiled. Everything is done for them. They do not have to toil either mentally nor physically. If there is any hardship involved in achieving anything, someone steps in because failure might be bad for their "self esteem". So they are not allowed to fail. Because of this they are not allowed to succeed either. Everything is one great, boring monotone of life.
Parents are afraid that children will be kidnapped, so they are allowed to sit inside all day watching television and playing video games instead of learning how to build forts, ride bicycles, and be fun-loving, playful and most of all CURIOUS kids. Have you noticed that today's youth has very little curiosity?
Children have no interest in learning how to do anything because it is all done FOR them in a child-centric society that places children so high on the list that anything and everything must be for them FIRST, and everyone else second. Parents are afraid of disciplining their children and telling them no lest they be considered "mean" and possibly even ABUSIVE (heaven forbid).
As for your reference to religious families. I find quite the opposite is true. The uber religious families that I know have very intelligent, very capable, very hard working children. But there is no tv watching when there are chores to be done. The girls cook, sew, bake and work in the fields with the animals and the garden. The boys help their father with the hard, sweaty labor. If there is total collapse of society as we know it, the Amish WILL inherit the earth. Trust me.
20yrsinBranson
I agree that many today are spoiled and indulged. An example I will use are my co-workers at my old job I just left. One guy, 26 years old, would drive 2 hours to his mom's house so she would wash his laundry for him. He also had the habit of leaving his dirty dishes in the sink for everyone else to wash. When I got fed up and told him I wasn't going to wash his plates for him, he gave me a blank look and said "Why not? I've never done dishes before. That's something that other people do for me. Why won't you?"
Another girl, in her mid 20's, refused to work more than 3 days a week even though she supposedly had a 'Masters degree'. She did nothing in her spare time but smoke pot and watch TV. One week, she had to come in an extra day and she was SO overwhelmed; she said "OMG, never again will I work 4 days. That's WAY too much for me." I asked her how she could afford to have her own apartment and a brand new car working 20 hours a week. Her reply? "Duh, my parents pay all of my bills. Don't yours?"
I would often wonder what would happen to these two when they are forced to fend for themselves in the Real World but I then realized that they will probably always have someone to bail them out and take care of them.
Another thing about these two, and others I have known like them, is their complete lack of understanding of the world around them. They live in a sheltered bubble and look down on anyone who has to actually work for what they have.
"The competition isn't just missing on the playing fields. It's missing in the classrooms, as well. Some schools don't let teachers grade papers with red ink. Everybody gets a trophy. Parents run to schools to blame the teacher if their kid fails a test or to argue for a better grade on a report. They can't roller skate without a helmet and knee pads. They can't ride in a car without a car seat. They can't eat this food or that food without everyone weighing in on the nutritional value. The electric outlets are all covered when they're little. They ride in car seats when they're fairly big. There are soccer moms because junior has a less chance of getting hurt. They live with their parents until they are well into their 20s and beyond. These overprotected non-competitive wusses have already hit the workplace. They need praise every five minutes for just doing their job, they think they all deserve outstanding evaluations and everything, and I mean everything, has to be done in teams and the team process (everybody getting along, everybody equal, everybody weighing in on everything) is more important than the outcome."
I don't know if it is still going on, but when my kids were in grade school (late 80's/early 90's) the misguided practice of holding children (especially boys) back a year (red-shirting) before kindergarten was very, very popular.
First it was just summer birthdays, but it became earlier and earlier.
The idea was that this would give the child social and academic advantages.
Instead it created prima donnas who expected everything to be easy; this attitude was especially noticeable in sports or other group activities.
My kids were both July birthdays and I did not hold them back. I knew they were ready.
I was kind of a 'mean mom' because I made my sons ride their bikes to soccer practice, and learn how to use public transportation.
However, I did have my kids in car seats. And I covered the electric sockets.
They managed to get into plenty of trouble in *other* ways.
Every generation finds fault with its youth. Plenty of the fault discussed here is justified. Hopefully, as time goes on, everything will even out.
I think parents spoil their children way too much, and are way too permissive with them. I am stupefied at the lack of willpower many adults have for punishment. You see kids who go out to do chores for about 10 minutes then come back and say "This is hard, I'm doing something else" and the parent threatens punishment...nothing happens. The parent goes out and finishes it and the kid does what they want.
You can see the repercussions in most of the reality shows...My Super Sweet 16, Bridezillas, I love New York, most of The Real World's. Everyone has become the king or queen of their little kingdom (their life) and they get what they want from their servants (friends and family). The nice thing is that most people like this either self destruct or learn a really painful lesson about how life works once they are around people that don't have to put up with their crap. Which is amusing to watch
I agree 100% but their lack of morality scares me even more than their lack of real-world skills, many of which can be learned at a later age.
It just occurred to me that I haven't seen a teenager in weeks, maybe months. Where the hell are they? I go shopping, I go to the library, to the mall, to ball games, I ride the bus, I eat lunch at BK, I never see teenagers.
Are they locked in their air conditioned houses, texting and tweeting each other? Do they sleep till midafternoon and then carouse at night? (There's a curfew here.) Where are they?
It just occurred to me that I haven't seen a teenager in weeks, maybe months. Where the hell are they? I go shopping, I go to the library, to the mall, to ball games, I ride the bus, I eat lunch at BK, I never see teenagers.
Are they locked in their air conditioned houses, texting and tweeting each other? Do they sleep till midafternoon and then carouse at night? (There's a curfew here.) Where are they?
You answered your own question.
Yes, there are quite a few teenagers who have jobs. So it might be that one is looking across the counter at you in Burger King. But there are a LOT of these kids who simply sit in their houses all day, playing computer games and eating junk food.
My nephew will be a senior in high school this year. He hasn't gotten his drivers' license yet because a.) my brother wants him to get a job in order to pay for the car insurance (which he won't do) and b.) he doesn't want to drive the minivan that he's being offered as a primary vehicle. What he does do is ***** on his facebook page that life isn't fair. Dang skippy it isn't. Get off your butt.
It just occurred to me that I haven't seen a teenager in weeks, maybe months. Where the hell are they? I go shopping, I go to the library, to the mall, to ball games, I ride the bus, I eat lunch at BK, I never see teenagers.
Are they locked in their air conditioned houses, texting and tweeting each other? Do they sleep till midafternoon and then carouse at night? (There's a curfew here.) Where are they?
Perhaps they are in their homes- but it might not be for the reason you think. At least in my area, there are NO JOBS for high schoolers. Even my brother and I home from summer break were unable to get summer employment despite months of looking (though, to be fair, in my case I only had about a month to find a job before I wasn't home long enough to warrant giving employment)- I am bilingual with office experience! If my brother and I couldn't find a job, what chance does a 16 or 17 year old have? And it's not like we've been looking for nicer gigs either... Mcdonalds, Walmart, Burger King, gas stations, grocery stores- nothing is hiring.
Where are they going to go with no money coming in? Sure parents often kick back some money to their kids to have fun with, but most parents are tightening the belt this summer. Therefore, kids are stuck in their houses with nothing to do and no money to spend. With no job, I have no way of getting insurance on one of my parents' two cars or paying gas for it, so I've only left the house a handful of times in the past 3 months and that was all for short lived volunteer experiences, simple errands with my parents, and to the library to get books for the GRE. It's a pretty miserable existence that I doubt many teenagers or young adults want to be stuck in.
For the record, I see MANY teenagers at the local library- but most are just picking up books and not hanging around. I met quite a few teenagers volunteering over the summer, but most volunteer organizations are in more need of money than volunteers and even they stopped taking summer volunteers.
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