Mind You Manners or I MIND Your Manners? (lobby, money, state)
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Here in Texas, nobody has called me "Sir" in two yers, and I'm older than almost everybody. I guess it's just not done anymore. Everybody is polite and courteous, they just don't spread it on so thick and gooey.
I would hate it if anybody held a door open for me. I know how to work a door, and when I approach it, I have the operation of the machine pretty well planned out in my head. I don't like to be thrown off course. Furthermiore, if somebody holds the door, it requires me to shift my thought-gears to the socialization of an event which there is no particular call to socialize. It's as bad as when I sneeze and a complete stranger feels it is necessary to open a door of socialization by saying Bless You, demanding of me an acknowledgement of gratitude which I don't feel for the interruption.
It seems to me you just can't please some people, anyone experienced grief when they were just trying to be polite? I was raised to say 'mam' and at 23 I appreciate it when others call me mam, but people in their 40s and even 50s seem to take offense to it some times, like you're saying they're old or something. 'Miss' seems to go over better with them. My husband and I both say 'not a problem' or 'anytime' instead of 'your welcome' sometimes which doesn't go over well either with some people. My husband said he heard someone respond to this 'so if it was a problem you wouldn't do it?' Other times women take offense to having the door held, I appreciate this and find it goes with both sexes, it is not implying you are incapable of opening a door, it is just a nice gesture. What is the deal? What manners do you mind?
I've had women, all younger, say something to the effect of "I'm no lady" when I hold the door open for them, to which I always respond with "Doesn't mean I don't have to be a gentleman".
Then again I had an Elder women call me "gallant" because I held both the inner and outer doors open for her at my bank. THAT made my month.
Plus there's a woman at work, a born-again, who goes ballistic if someone doesn't say "god bless you" when she sneezes. She doesn't bother me anymore, since I tell her "goddess bless you".
But what REALLY gets my goat, being a (former) professional driver for over twenty years is how rude some people can be on the road, especially towards truck and bus drivers. Some people won't wave a thank you if you let them into traffic, or they'll cut you off and then exit the highway or make you stomp on your grippers because they immediatly turn into a parking lot.
Here in Texas, nobody has called me "Sir" in two yers, and I'm older than almost everybody. I guess it's just not done anymore. Everybody is polite and courteous, they just don't spread it on so thick and gooey.
I would hate it if anybody held a door open for me. I know how to work a door, and when I approach it, I have the operation of the machine pretty well planned out in my head. I don't like to be thrown off course. Furthermiore, if somebody holds the door, it requires me to shift my thought-gears to the socialization of an event which there is no particular call to socialize. It's as bad as when I sneeze and a complete stranger feels it is necessary to open a door of socialization by saying Bless You, demanding of me an acknowledgement of gratitude which I don't feel for the interruption.
I'm in Texas and I hear Yes Sir and No Sir all of the time.. Maybe it's just you. I even say it to those younger than I am..
If I am entering a self closing door and someone is behind me I will hold it open until they have ahold of it. And nine times out of ten they will say thank you... You must be number ten...(:>)
I've always been polite and respectful to people unless they give me a reason not to be... which a stranger seldom does. I think we just live in a society in which 'courtesy' and 'politeness' and 'respect' are four letter words for many folks. I've never been able to figure out why. I've never figured out how being a creep is something to aspire to.
I often hear comments to the effect, 'they are just being polite, but they really don't feel that way.' What? So people go around all day doing things for others that they don't want to do? I've never known that to be the case. When I meet a jerk, it's obvious. He/She doesn't go out of his/her way to do anything.
The terms 'miss' and Ma'am were orginally intended to imply marital status, not age. An unmarried lady should be addressed as 'miss' and the reverse went for ma'am. Both are honorifics and taking offense to one or the other is ....odd to me. I don't like to be adressed as 'sir' in general conversation (I work for a living) but I don't get all burr under the cinch about it either. Yep, some folks just need to lighten up a bit methinks.
It seems to me you just can't please some people, anyone experienced grief when they were just trying to be polite? I was raised to say 'mam' and at 23 I appreciate it when others call me mam, but people in their 40s and even 50s seem to take offense to it some times, like you're saying they're old or something. 'Miss' seems to go over better with them. My husband and I both say 'not a problem' or 'anytime' instead of 'your welcome' sometimes which doesn't go over well either with some people. My husband said he heard someone respond to this 'so if it was a problem you wouldn't do it?' Other times women take offense to having the door held, I appreciate this and find it goes with both sexes, it is not implying you are incapable of opening a door, it is just a nice gesture. What is the deal? What manners do you mind?
Oh this is just hyper sensative crap. Most people know, depsite generational gaps, who is being polite and who is not. Who really cares, "Ms, or Mrs. Or mam" As long as it is done with respect and well intended, the recepient should ackowledge it. People are just way to sensative these days. Anything and everything is offensive.
I've had women, all younger, say something to the effect of "I'm no lady" when I hold the door open for them, to which I always respond with "Doesn't mean I don't have to be a gentleman".
Then again I had an Elder women call me "gallant" because I held both the inner and outer doors open for her at my bank. THAT made my month.
I've never had anybody refer to me as gallant, but on the other hand, I've never had anybody react in anger to my holding a door for them.
I try to hold the door for any and everybody I can. It just seems like such an easy, free, and courteous grace to extend to people. I can't think of any reason not to.
I was raised to say 'mam' and at 23 I appreciate it when others call me mam, but people in their 40s and even 50s seem to take offense to it some times, like you're saying they're old or something.
I wonder if referring to all women as "Ma'am" (no matter their age) is a Southern custom? I was raised in the Northeast, and in my experience "Ma'am" is generally used when speaking to those middle-aged or older. In my neck of the woods, when you "graduate" from "Miss" to "Ma'am", you know you're getting older!
I'll hold the door open for men or women. Makes no difference to me. It just seems like the courteous thing to do.
That said, some people just want to have something to be mad about. And they'll always find it.
Agree 100%...I hold the door for men, women, kids...whoever! And if someone holds the door for me, I smile and say "thank you".
I do have a question though. I keep hearing about these so-called women who get annoyed when men hold the door for them. Where/who are these women? I have yet to encounter one...or hear of one directly. Could this be an urban legend?
I do have a question though. I keep hearing about these so-called women who get annoyed when men hold the door for them. Where/who are these women? I have yet to encounter one...or hear of one directly. Could this be an urban legend?
I can't answer your question.
I don't think I've ever run across such a woman - and if I have, I apparently wasn't listening. Being married for over 25 years does that to a guy...
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THAT made my month.
