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And it's already been explained why over and over yet you are incredulous. it's about "power" and white people have ability so it gives others a sense of confidence in them (of course not all deserve that) so naturally ensues their physical appearance would be better received or viewed. people who look too different from themselves will be at first viewed more negatively. but this doesn't apply in america to the same extent, their are whites etc who prefer black people and feel more comfortable than with others including asians etc. if it's not color maybe it's the same shape eyes they feel more kinship with or identifty with or on an emotional level etc. it's not just COLOR. there are also plenty of people who view asians as the most alien from them. what people identify with is varied. it depends on the person. you keep making it a color issue which is correct to some extent but you skew it and the op as if that's the only means of bigotry or discrimination.
some short people are tired of being seen as less than tall people etc. when people say they want someone who is 'tall' or whatever, isn't that discriminating against shorter people? of course it is.
white people are on the worldwide stage and with media. of course this isn't true per individual. some people don't consider the individual, they go by popular opinion. lots of people are like that no matter what race. another issue is though color may be one reason or their looks (people discriminate based on looks too whether it's racist or not), they may actually not like the person for other cultural differences or just the person themselves.
This entire thread was started by a black man who is all out of sorts because non-black women don't constantly fawn over him. He's trying to make a racial issue out of something that may have absolutely nothing whatever to do with race.
Is it possible he's nowhere near as stunningly good looking as he thinks he is?
Is it possible that he exudes self-centered arrogance, and turns people off?
Is it possible that he constantly acts like some horny lounge lizard, always on the make & trying to score?
Is it possible that he, like all the rest of us, just don't have everybody from the opposite sex falling all over us?
Naaaahhhhhh... It MUST be that all non-black women are racially bigoted!
hmm... i don't agree. I don't think black men have anymore trouble dating or marrying if they want to. i think it has to do with the individual and if they do face challenges, it may seem like a different set of challenges than others but it is the same but a case of apples and oranges.
there are plenty of people because of bigotry, personal tastes or stereotypes or racism who would not date any number of races that exist and vice versa.
your idea of "ignorant enough to disqualify me before really getting to know me" is quite flabberghastingly unrealistic. why? because people disqualify people for all kinds of reasons before getting to know them and do even on "purpose" and even if they are smart enough to know that someone can be a good person or this or that, it's not the real issue. why do people think "nerds", for instance, get reviled or rejected or the stereotype of the "nice" guy or the plain jane etc. some people may like "hypermasculinity" and some people may not or something else. everyone is perceived with some level of personal preference, or criteria. you just think blacks are an exception when it's not the case.
um, as for your idea that black women who don't date some nonblack men, it's not just because the idea of beauty is 'blonde and blue-eyed'. it's because some of them actually are not attracted to nonblacks. your excuse isn't correct because black women are not usually attracted to an asian man (not that i expect them to) and it may be partly for thier looks or the fact they are asian, whether they are a 'good' person has nothing to do with it, there are lots of good people in the world, lol. this dynamic can apply to other races with any number of people and have the same or similar criteria. social ideas or even conditioning of what is acceptable and what people find attractive apply to anyone and affect everyone in different ways. it's not just limited to blacks.
as for the op, there are people who actually want to date blacks or find them attractive despite whatever stereotypes float around because we all have them and on the receiving end as well. it's all disrespectful and make the person a nonperson like an object but for various reasons. i can bet you that a young white female would more than likely want to date a young black man than say what is termed a 'fobby' asian etc. or some stereotypical 'scrawny, nerdy, asian'. but using your logic, we would have to question this with indignation, "there is nothing wrong with scrawny, nerdy or being asian, you are a bigot! plus god made them that way, you should value someone's heart and "get to know" them etc etc. it then escalates from there.
bottomline, i don't think black people have any more stereotypes than any number of minorities. they may be a bit different but that's natural.
i think blacks assume other minorities don't have these problems or people's perceptions of them are not colored by bigotry, stereotypes or even racism but just black people are. that's not true.
oh btw, since the focus is usually on how blacks are stereotyped yadda yadda even in society, even blacks have come to believe that they are predominantly on the receiving end or always. but the truth is blacks also stereotype others just like anyone else consciously or unconsciously with whatever is floating around about whatever group, race, ethnicity etc.
1) I, for one, would not be comfortable dating someone who I knew had a "thing" for black men. This IMO is just as bad as its polar opposite - being rejected on the outset by someone who had a "thing" against black
men. Now I am not naive enough to believe in the existence of a world where no interpersonal racial "objectification" ever takes place. Yes, to an extent we all objectify one another on the grounds of physical appearance. Even same-race couples do it to each other. But I would hope that, as rational beings who have the capacity to examine and evaluate our motivations in an intelligent fashion, people would be more inclined to look deep within themselves and determine what they truly want in a mate rather than hiding behind convenient yet pseudoscientific "explanations" to lend justification to their culturally-inherited biases.
2) It has been suggested that black women and Asian men, who both often find themselves "cast out" of the mainstream matrix of attractiveness, should simply "get together". We may agree that the problem with this solution is that both groups generally don't find each other attractive. But I think these two groups are simply motivated and conditioned by the same sexual dynamics that motivate other groups to "shun" them.
3) Yes, every group is in one way or another affected by negative or skewed perceptions, just as every group is guilty of projecting the same. This is nothing new. But I wouldn't go so far as to assert that these perceptions are rendered equally across the board. When it comes down to it, every culture appears to be in some way influenced by the binary standard of black = negative/white = positive. Everything "in between" is simply evaluated in a more or less direct relation to that standard. The question is that, because this influence is so pervasive, is it indeed meant to be this way by some sort of ontological law, or can it be overcome through conscious human effort?
This study only serves to prove what I've known all along. Love isn't, nor has it ever been, colorblind. And while many may argue that "it's just preference", there is no doubt that many of the underlying motivations are indeed race-based, and stem from a particularly nefarious and pervasive cultural conditioning. In a word, no one wants to be black, and everyone wants to be white.
True. Check out the posts of some of the Latinos on here.............
Blacks aren't exactly an Asians idea of being good looking. Traditionally, dark skinned Asians were perceived more as lower class citizens in their home countries as the darker skin was due to being exposed to the sun while laboring as peasant workers. Meanwhile, they revered those who were smart, intellectual and with academic credentials, and those with high education naturally had paler skin from hours of study and writing indoors. Historically, even before Asians (Chinese and Japanese) ever interacted with whites, having pale skin was deserved by them.
Black culture is also more outgoing and louder than Asian culture. Asians are known for being polite, quiet and even submissive. Blacks are not. And culturally, Asians are more formal and with a stricter moral code about sex.
Asians are generally more petite in build than blacks. The Asians born and raised in the US are taller and heavier due to the American diet that is heavy on meats and dairy products. Blacks seem more proud of their physical prowess (and they do excel in professional sports) and their sexuality. You don't see many Asians in sports, definitely not in football. While I had one Asian friend that loved playing basketball, 30 years ago, he was the only Asian in the city's basketball league. And it broke his heart that he wasn't tall enough to pursue his sport further.
Anyway, I know that there are a good number of non-Asians that aren't physically attracted to Asians.... it's no big deal and it doesn't bother us. We aren't looking for that sort of validation from non-Asians. In terms of living in the US, our only desire is to have equal access to nice places to live, good jobs and a better quality of life than in the home country aka to live the "American Dream" but that doesn't include interracial love. If it happens, it happens, but being able to date and marry interracially is not very high on our list of wants.
Even talking with my Asian guy friends who are in their late 20's, while they may admire the usual hot looking actresses and female celebrities, and even date an occasional non-Asian woman, when they talk about future marriage and kids stuff, they only plan to marry an Asian woman of their own nationality, even if they haven't met her yet. I don't consider that being racist. They just have a strong sense of wanting to preserve their family traditions. But there is never any talk of Asians being superior or some other race being inferior. And if part of this desire is wanting sons that look exactly like them, what is wrong with that?
This entire thread was started by a black man who is all out of sorts because non-black women don't constantly fawn over him. He's trying to make a racial issue out of something that may have absolutely nothing whatever to do with race.
Is it possible he's nowhere near as stunningly good looking as he thinks he is?
Is it possible that he exudes self-centered arrogance, and turns people off?
Is it possible that he constantly acts like some horny lounge lizard, always on the make & trying to score?
Is it possible that he, like all the rest of us, just don't have everybody from the opposite sex falling all over us?
Naaaahhhhhh... It MUST be that all non-black women are racially bigoted!
I don't think it is an issue about whether enough women are fawning over him. He already stated that, on the surface, he is received favorably by women from both here and abroad. I think the OP's point centers on the notion that non-black American women in particular appear to be less romantically-inclined to him than their counterparts overseas. Assuming he's the same guy both here and abroad, it doesn't strike me as all too unreasonable to entertain the possibility that American women just might be a bit more reserved due to a distinct, culturally-conditioned racial consciousness.
And of the Asians that marry whites, well first of all, there are a lot more whites than blacks. Blacks are only 12% of the US populations. Then factor in that there aren't enough good husband material black men for the black women... plus that blacks aren't that physically attractive to most Asians.
Of course, you are the expert on this point; though I don't really care if the likes of you find me attractive or not.
Quote:
And I am still amazed that we have these sorts of discussions on the boards. The black community has so many other more important issues to deal with such as getting better education for their kids, solving their higher than average unemployment numbers, and single parent families, so that being able to date interracially should not even be on the list of their gripes.
"Gripes?"
Quote:
Dating interracially is not a civil right in the sense that you can't guilt trip other races into wanting to date outside their race or physical preferences. You can't go around accusing others of being racist if they aren't interested in being physically intimate with you or any other black person.
Nah..........I just call folks racist when they actually are.
Quote:
Anyway, if a black man wants to be considered good dating material by an Asian woman, he should be on a good career path so that he can be a good provider for a wife and kids. He shouldn't approach a non-black woman in a smooth talking ladies man fashion. No talk in the beginning about how sexy or fine she looks. He needs to act like a gentleman and to let her know that he dates very selectively. He'd better not have any other girlfriends or baby mommas in his life. He'd better be interested in having a serious monogamous relationship that leads to marriage if all goes well. He also needs to be able to be very polite and well mannered around her family and parents. It's important that her parents approve of him, but that's where his college education and good career path will help win them over. They didn't immigrate to this country and struggle working two menial jobs in order to raise their kids properly and then to let their daughters throw her live away on a bum of any skin colour.
I'm assuming you lay this rant on folks of all colours, right?
1) I, for one, would not be comfortable dating someone who I knew had a "thing" for black men. This IMO is just as bad as its polar opposite - being rejected on the outset by someone who had a "thing" against black
men. Now I am not naive enough to believe in the existence of a world where no interpersonal racial "objectification" ever takes place. Yes, to an extent we all objectify one another on the grounds of physical appearance. Even same-race couples do it to each other. But I would hope that, as rational beings who have the capacity to examine and evaluate our motivations in an intelligent fashion, people would be more inclined to look deep within themselves and determine what they truly want in a mate rather than hiding behind convenient yet pseudoscientific "explanations" to lend justification to their culturally-inherited biases.
2) It has been suggested that black women and Asian men, who both often find themselves "cast out" of the mainstream matrix of attractiveness, should simply "get together". We may agree that the problem with this solution is that both groups generally don't find each other attractive. But I think these two groups are simply motivated and conditioned by the same sexual dynamics that motivate other groups to "shun" them.
3) Yes, every group is in one way or another affected by negative or skewed perceptions, just as every group is guilty of projecting the same. This is nothing new. But I wouldn't go so far as to assert that these perceptions are rendered equally across the board. When it comes down to it, every culture appears to be in some way influenced by the binary standard of black = negative/white = positive. Everything "in between" is simply evaluated in a more or less direct relation to that standard. The question is that, because this influence is so pervasive, is it indeed meant to be this way by some sort of ontological law, or can it be overcome through conscious human effort?
um, i think it is relatively similar across the board. you seem to think it's only skin color which is the object of derision or discrimination. if you have an amputated leg, it's like saying you are the only one who has a disability but the person who has an amputated arm doesn't because it's not the leg.
it's interesting the op talks about american women when, in fact, even asians are seen as the least attractive people pretty much worldwide, in america (especially) because of the culture and in most western countries, south america etc (exception is france) AND even some self-hating asians believe that in asia as well. the reason for this is everyone else has "round" eyes and looks similar even though they may have different shades of skin. most everyone else on the planet besides asians looks more closely related. you are focusing on discrimination of blacks but blacks are not the only people discriminated so the op is ridiculous. heck, he would have a better chance than most asians of gaining attention from females. it's an erroneous whiny rant pretending it's only black men who are not seen as attractive for dating. actually when i think about it, asians are discriminated a hell of a lot and the focus of negative attention, it may be because they are ambitious in their own way so it's easy for everyone else to scapegoat them while ignoring themselves or their own background. i mean, i've even been condescended to from latin-americans who may also come from third world countries and not even prospering compared to asia. this is because of american culture to view those who are relatively more 'european' in looks (as in shape) to be considered more american. isn't that frigging stupid? and you want to complain?? lmao
as a matter of fact, it is not unusual for asian kids to be taunted for their looks and both white, black and hispanics to think they are the ugliest or weird or whatever because they don't have the "round" eyes etc. and you know what? the collective brainwashing is they actually believe it and don't see how ugly or unnattractive they may be even if they don't look asian. this is how groupthink works but it exists to note differences for a reason. america, especially is not that keen on skincolor as other places may be so the op is a bit out of touch. it's more about cultural similarity and looking the same 'shape' not the same color etc. you can tell even in the media of mixed people viewed as attractive etc. america has it's own cultural values or values regarding physical characteristics.
again, you keep harping on skincolor because it is what is perceived about blacks but it's important to realize that is only a microcosm of the larger picture and others have thier own discriminations.
Racists and bigots tend to find each other and stick together for purposes of solidarity on here.........
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