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Old 09-19-2009, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Bayou City
2,991 posts, read 4,469,773 times
Reputation: 2496

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
I believe white women are more accepting of black men then black women dating white men. Most mixed couples are black man / white woman.

The same cultural preferences affect the choices of white & black women. Why don't more black women accepting of and date white guys ?

A white guy wants to know.
Well one could very well ask the same thing of Asian women regarding their predilection for white guys.

I will say this, though - out of all groups, black women are perhaps the most averse to interracial companionship. This probably has to do in part to being most likely to buy into the notion of "preserving the race" I spoke of earlier. Throughout the troubled history of blacks in this country, the black woman was considered to be the cornerstone of the black family, absolutely essential to its survival.

This identity and obligation was reinforced by the church, making it more or less a moral imperative. Black women were not expected to be worldly, well-traveled and sophisticated, an expectation that mitigated their likelihood of finding any real common bond with "other" men.

This identity is changing rapidly, however, as more and more black women achieve higher levels of education, empowerment and independence. But some seeds of "loyalty" remain in many cases.

 
Old 09-19-2009, 10:53 AM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
29,926 posts, read 34,535,636 times
Reputation: 35921
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Has anybody noticed that most people in this country who are not black, don't truly respect black people?
I can't speak for most people but I personally disagree. There are many black people who I truly respect due to their intelligence, morals and all the other things that make a human being wonderful.

Since you're from TX also, let's start with the late Barbara Jordon. When that woman spoke people listened.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Bayou City
2,991 posts, read 4,469,773 times
Reputation: 2496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979 View Post
I'm not saying he should be limited to one ethnic group, or anyone else for that matter.

However, he only seems to be bringing up relationships with women of other ethnic groups. He even mentioned that when he was in other countries he seemingly only had relationships with other ethnic groups. I'm curious as to why he is only focused on dating women of other ethnicities.
Because in this country, by and large, dating within one's own ethnic group is seen as a given. It is expected that women who share your ethnicity would be more inclined to make themselves romantically available to you here. The OP senses that women of other ethnicities are likewise attracted to him, but somehow less willing to extend this "availability" to him. Upon visiting other countries, however, the OP (like many well-traveled black men) appears to find much less resistance on the part of women of other ethnicities, making these women much more approachable than their stateside counterparts. This naturally leads him to question the distinction.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 11:21 AM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
29,926 posts, read 34,535,636 times
Reputation: 35921
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSykes View Post
Because in this country, by and large, dating within one's own ethnic group is seen as a given. It is expected that women who share your ethnicity would be more inclined to make themselves romantically available to you here. The OP senses that women of other ethnicities are likewise attracted to him, but somehow less willing to extend this "availability" to him. Upon visiting other countries, however, the OP (like many well-traveled black men) appears to find much less resistance on the part of women of other ethnicities, making these women much more approachable than their stateside counterparts. This naturally leads him to question the distinction.
Good post & pretty well sums it up.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSykes View Post
Because in this country, by and large, dating within one's own ethnic group is seen as a given. .
It runs deeper than that. There is a greater likelihood that a meaningful bond will form between people who have experiential commonality. I've been to over a hundred countries, and Ive seen every kind of cute girl there is, by the hundreds. But I know that I could never form the kind of bond with one of them, that I can with a girl whose cultural memory is fairly similar to my own.
an exotic person can seem very exciting, but it starts to break down pretty fast when you try to share your memories and there is no comprehension.

That's why war brides and mail-order brides are not as successful as the girl next door.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Bayou City
2,991 posts, read 4,469,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
It runs deeper than that. There is a greater likelihood that a meaningful bond will form between people who have experiential commonality.
And I would argue that while this "experiential commonality" may be generally more consistent within ethnic groups than between them, ethnicity itself does not define one's culture, much less guarantee that my culture will in all or even most cases be remarkably different from another's who may be of a different ethnicity.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSykes View Post
And I would argue that while this "experiential commonality" may be generally more consistent within ethnic groups than between them, ethnicity itself does not define one's culture, much less guarantee that my culture will in all or even most cases be remarkably different from another's who may be of a different ethnicity.
Of course it doesn't. But last time I drove across the USA, I noticed that blacks are not uniformly distributed within the population. They tend to be clustered in certain areas, where the general cultural attributes are conspicuously different from other areas. If a girl from Bismarck marries a guy from East St. Louis, they are going to find some deficiency in experiential commonality, if they can even understand each other's language in the first place, nome sane? I'm not saying this is necessarily the case, but the further removed the cultural backgrouinds of two spouses, the greater the challenge of trying to bridge the gap.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 05:01 PM
 
Location: NZ Wellington
2,782 posts, read 3,638,064 times
Reputation: 591
I think you are the type of guy girls want to have sex with, but not a relationship with.
 
Old 09-20-2009, 11:12 AM
 
6 posts, read 22,956 times
Reputation: 25
Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I understand the grass will not always be greener wherever you go, however there is really something wrong with this country when it comes to race, and I just do not see why it has come to that.

If you read this link, Obama’s global star power finds limits - Washington Post- msnbc.com , it shows our president is more popular in the world then he is in our own country. Floyd Mayweather won a huge fight yesterday, and I can not tell you how many times I have heard my white counterparts rooting for the Latino guy to win, because in there opinion they think he is too cocky. I remember in some of my past relationships with woman here and that is often a word they use to describe me. I guess most white Americans just can not distinguish cockiness with confidence, because I will tell you if a white man acts as "cocky" as I do, he will be described as confident and being a leader.

Mr. Mayweather summed everything up in this article by ESPN last week Floyd Mayweather: Race a factor in how he's viewed - ESPN. It really feels that way as a black man in America. You might say that I agree with his view because I have not had any success with American women in this country. However why am I treated much, much differently as a black man when I go to a countries like Germany, France, Spain and England. It is unacceptable if you tell me, especially after years of injustice and persecution this nation has committed upon black men and women.
 
Old 09-20-2009, 11:53 AM
 
1,350 posts, read 2,361,885 times
Reputation: 1798
i dont think its just black males that are having this problem, i think that men of color in general are not seen in the same way as white males. i think that being a white male in this country definitely gives you a big advantage in the dating game (all else being equal). the weird thing is that its not just white women who tend to prefer white males, but women of other ethnicities as well would much rather choose a white male than a male of another race (other than their own).
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