Most women in this country who are not black, don’t truly respect black men? (racist, solution)

[GoldenLightan]

I am a black male, and most people have said and rated me very attractive and very intelligent. I graduated from one of the top private universities in the country and I hold a very good job for a person my age. I also have traveled around the world and have noticed a huge disparity on how women from other countries treat me compared to how most women in America treat me.

It just seems as if most women born in this country who are white, Asian, Latina etc; are so hesitant to actually start a relationship with me. There is no doubt they show there is obvious interest in me with them sending me text messages and giving me there numbers, flirting with me in the office, inviting me to some special events. However when it comes to you know starting a real relationship and even showing you want to commit, they run around circles and play games. Almost as if they are scared to have them meet there parents. I once asked this beautiful white female out who I knew was interested in me from the start and it took almost four months of leading her and basically just asking her out until she finally agreed to go on a date. Our relationship only lasted two months and it seems all of my relationships with women raised in this country last only from one night to two months.

It is completely different with the woman I encountered from other countries. I met this one Japanese girl who was cute and goofy, and our strange relationship lasted long. She was willing to use her money out of her own expense to take me to Japan to meet her family and get married. She was serious about it too, saw the ticket and everything. I also once dated this girl from Spain, and she was very open-minded from the start...I even met her family.

I also had this long relationship with a white woman from Germany. We dated and went to Germany together for a couple months. I can tell you my experience as a black man in Germany on a daily basis was much more positive than my experience as a black man in America. I felt the people there automatically gave me respect. No long stares, great conversations, and hardly any of it had to do with me being black. Ironically, it is like that when I go to any other European country, I just feel that I am more respected and accepted. Who would have thought I would feel comfortable in a sea of white faces, however this issue belongs in another board I guess.

I also conducted a fun experiment where I joined a dating web site for fun. I set up a quick profile with some of my pics. I decided to chat with 10 women who were from the states, and 10 women who were located internationally. My main goal was to be direct about what I wanted and ask them for their personal information. The 10 women I chatted with who were not from the states, were not uptight at all. They were willing to give out personal info about themselves, and eight out of the 10 of them even gave me there number. The only time the fact I was black came up and this was when one of them said it was there wish to have sex with a black man.

The 10 women I chatted from who were from different parts of the USA, asked follow up questions, seemed very uptight and thought I was being rude, brought up race and giving excuses that they have not been in a biracial relationship before. They tried to give me other options like maybe an email or aim at first and all that other nonsense.

Why has the World or at least the Eastern Hemisphere put race aside however America has not? Maybe that is the real question. Why am I not truly accepted by the mainstream in when basically I did everything right here in America, but the world accepts me? An answer to the question I posed is the American media that continues to belittle and defame black people, and portray our culture as inferior. There are other variables, and I could use other examples based on current evens to validate my point. It is so ironic indeed.

[mrstewart]

Exactly what is your question?

[Morphous01]

Originally Posted by GoldenLightan

I am a black male, and most people have said and rated me very attractive and very intelligent. I graduated from one of the top private universities in the country and I hold a very good job for a person my age. I also have traveled around the world and have noticed a huge disparity on how women from other countries treat me compared to how most women in America treat me.

It just seems as if most women born in this country who are white, Asian, Latina etc; are so hesitant to actually start a relationship with me. There is no doubt they show there is obvious interest in me with them sending me text messages and giving me there numbers, flirting with me in the office, inviting me to some special events. However when it comes to you know starting a real relationship and even showing you want to commit, they run around circles and play games. Almost as if they are scared to have them meet there parents. I once asked this beautiful white female out who I knew was interested in me from the start and it took almost four months of leading her and basically just asking her out until she finally agreed to go on a date. Our relationship only lasted two months and it seems all of my relationships with women raised in this country last only from one night to two months.

It is completely different with the woman I encountered from other countries. I met this one Japanese girl who was cute and goofy, and our strange relationship lasted long. She was willing to use her money out of her own expense to take me to Japan to meet her family and get married. She was serious about it too, saw the ticket and everything. I also once dated this girl from Spain, and she was very open-minded from the start...I even met her family.

I also had this long relationship with a white woman from Germany. We dated and went to Germany together for a couple months. I can tell you my experience as a black man in Germany on a daily basis was much more positive than my experience as a black man in America. I felt the people there automatically gave me respect. No long stares, great conversations, and hardly any of it had to do with me being black. Ironically, it is like that when I go to any other European country, I just feel that I am more respected and accepted. Who would have thought I would feel comfortable in a sea of white faces, however this issue belongs in another board I guess.

I also conducted a fun experiment where I joined a dating web site for fun. I set up a quick profile with some of my pics. I decided to chat with 10 women who were from the states, and 10 women who were located internationally. My main goal was to be direct about what I wanted and ask them for their personal information. The 10 women I chatted with who were not from the states, were not uptight at all. They were willing to give out personal info about themselves, and eight out of the 10 of them even gave me there number. The only time the fact I was black came up and this was when one of them said it was there wish to have sex with a black man.

The 10 women I chatted from who were from different parts of the USA, asked follow up questions, seemed very uptight and thought I was being rude, brought up race and giving excuses that they have not been in a biracial relationship before. They tried to give me other options like maybe an email or aim at first and all that other nonsense.

I'm a black male, and I understand your situation, however, I haven't had much experience with women from over seas.

In regards to your post, basically women here in the states are hesitant to enter in relationships with black males due to the fact that a large percentage of black males are extremely immature and unreliable. Also, it's a money/power issue because as a racial group we own/control very little of America; and American women know this.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by GoldenLightan

It just seems as if most women born in this country who are white, Asian, Latina etc; are so hesitant to actually start a relationship with me.

Most women - that's a lot of women.

And you arrive at this assessment how? You've met them all?

I caution your use of generalizations in as much as you would not like anyone to include you as 'most black men.' You are counter arguing your point with yourself when you use generalizations such as this. I don't believe, which I think is a part of your rant, you would want me to characterize you as 'most black men' seeing as how I have never met you or most black men.

It's generalizations that you are making, such as these, that become the problem for you and perpetuate it - not all or most of the media. Look carefully at how you, yourself, are trying to make your point.

[andreaspercheron]

Originally Posted by Morphous01

I'm a black male, and I understand your situation, however, I haven't had much experience with women from over seas.

In regards to your post, basically women here in the states are hesitant to enter in relationships with black males due to the fact that a large percentage of black males are extremely immature and unreliable. Also, it's a money/power issue because as a racial group we own/control very little of America; and American women know this.

I second this but would like to also add, I still think (and this is unfortunate) that even today in these times, there is a stigma attached to a white woman dating a black male and being public about it. I know white women who do date black men but they are never really and truly commited in the sense that they meet their families, etc..
I think that 'we' need to stop looking at color as the first thing and look a little deeper. People of all colors still have beating hearts, still have minds and still have souls.

[Stac2007]

So you are upset that white woman won't look your way? What can I say except it's a woman's choice to pick her mate or date. Waving your fist at the sky is not going to change things.

[Capt. Dan]

The solution to your problem seems obvious. Move to Germany. We are all entitled to happiness. If white women make you happy and German white women make you the happiest, Lufthansa has many daily flights. Good luck!

[cremebrulee]

There is no doubt they show there is obvious interest in me with them sending me text messages and giving me there numbers, flirting with me in the office, inviting me to some special events.

Ok, first, let it be known that I do not see color...and if I were younger, and into dating...I wouldn't blink about dating someone who was culturally different.

But your post above scares me a little....and here's my take.
I don't care what color your skin is....your meaning I'm generalizing....but when I smile, and joke along with men in the office, I'm not flirting...and I do know through experience, by me being friendly in the past to males....some of them took it as if I were coming onto them.

I spoke with a male about this once, and he told me, some men think when a woman smiles at him, she is coming onto him...and it's not so...I'm the same way with females in the office...if they joke around, I'm right there....and I'm the type of person who likes to have fun....

Therefore, I think maybe you should re-evaluate and consider that not all women are flirting with you...I think they're are a lot of women who are just being friendly, happy and nice.

Now, as far as American Women being so apprehensive, I cannot speak for them...but here are my thoughts

America has gotten out of hand with the word racist...it's made so many people uneasy and afraid to actually joke, b/c someone inevidably will use the racist trump card. That has got to stop. It's gone completely over to the other end of the spectrum. Take for instance the statements Jimmy Carter just made????? How utterly insane. I swear, American has actually made race more of an issue and by doing so, I believe it's caused many more problems.

In order for change, it can't happen over night, and manners and kindness has got to be actually bred into children. Its going to take a long time.

On the other hand, I believe there have been major changes, as you do definately see many more inter racial marriages, which to me, is a great thing.

So, it's kind of a double edged sword....and the only thing I would suggest, is to be yourself. be kind and compassionate and above all patient, and perhaps someday that special woman will come your way.

But, in the same, don't take every woman's kind & friendly heart as if she's flirting with you.

Hugs and good luck
Creme

[Coolhand68]

Probably a topic better suited for Great Debates. You seem to have an inferiority complex with women here in America. Conducting experiments and feeling a sense of entitlement because you graduated from a private university and feel that "most" people (apparently not American white/Latin/Asian women) find you attractive. YOU seem to be the one honing in on your race, not others. I'm with Capt. Dan, the answer to your happiness is a one way ticket away, Auf Wiedersehen!

[MoNative34]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

But your post above scares me a little....and here's my take.
I don't care what color your skin is....your meaning I'm generalizing....but when I smile, and joke along with men in the office, I'm not flirting...and I do know through experience, by me being friendly in the past to males....some of them took it as if I were coming onto them.

I spoke with a male about this once, and he told me, some men think when a woman smiles at him, she is coming onto him...and it's not so...I'm the same way with females in the office...if they joke around, I'm right there....and I'm the type of person who likes to have fun....

I think that its too bad that men and women can't so much as smile to someone of the opposite sex and for the other to think there's some sort of ulterior motive. Some people are just nice.