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Old 09-28-2009, 06:52 PM
 
1,310 posts, read 2,640,684 times
Reputation: 581

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
b4 i was a god driven omen guy, everything was a sign from god.everything.
it took an expensive divorce and a one more hard body slam of hot romance and near disaster engagement to tone down.
god does not want me to get run over by a truck.
god did not change marriage law we did that.
god does not want me to stand in front of a truck and hang my head.
for me god now looks like this.
I think that Traffic Light is a pretty good representation of what God allows us and not allows us ... for our own protection. Very good analogy . When the Traffic Light turns 'red' , it means DANGER ... and its not a time to see how much we can get away with because its a fun thing to do.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:39 PM
 
Location: John & Ken-ville
13,692 posts, read 15,117,815 times
Reputation: 9492
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979 View Post
So I have a theory.

Men and women were never meant to live together longer than 5 or 6 years at a time.

Ancient men and women usually lived seperate lives, away from one another, for long periods of time. You may pick a mate for life, but we actually weren't meant to stay together. Usually the man would stick closer to home until the child reached an age of 6 or 7, which helps to explain the "7 year itch" that many people feel today.

Women are the same way, they don't want us around forever. Every woman I know is usually feed up with their husbands after 5 or 6 years.

Here is an interesting article,

Men And Women Weren't Meant To Live Together :: Loved Up :: Here Is The City Life :: The Online Lifestyle Portal For London - Books, Music, Films, Charity, Shopping, Cinema, Kids, Holidays, Food & Drink


Despite appearances to the contrary (fostered by anthropocentric nursery stories), a distinct role for male parents does not exist in nature. Fatherhood was invented by humans during the agricultural revolution about six thousand years ago. Symbolized by the new god-king, it incorporated the mother's originally superior role in primate families—the control or ownership of children. The male deity could even make his own offspring without female help. This inflated political figure was designed to compensate for the male's modest role in procreation, once the facts of life were known. Patriarchy was born out of an envious attack on mothers.

Wiley InterScience :: Session Cookies

Parenting for primates - Google Books

Also,

While human fathers obviously have more to do with their children than other primate fathers, that is because we are such a social species. We aren't supposed to be there all the time. A father was meant to be more of a friend than a parent. We are there to play, to protect, and to provide. We aren't meant to care for children, its simply not part of our natural nature.

I'm sure you have some examples of great caring fathers, who stayed at home while the mom worked, but again, this is not the natural way of things. This is a choice, that two people made.
So are you saying that men have no paternal instincts to stay with a family to help raise his offspring?

Humans are on a higher level than an animal like a dog, cat, horse.

What are you trying to say here?
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,440 posts, read 30,625,250 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by RVlover View Post
I just thought id offer you some objectivity on the Shackin Up game , so if you still decide to do it, at least you wont go into it blind. Ive been there and done that ; tough way to learn for alot of Folks. God has a better plan for your life , as I discovered . Take care.
Sweetie, I am 47 years old, I lived with my husband for 9 years before we married, I know ALL the "games".
I just dont buy into the God has a better plan for you stuff. He is kinda busy with all the folks starving, wars and what not, He really has better things to do.
I am not trying to insult your faith, but it seems to be a crutch for a lot of people that could solve their own problems but for thinking that God will rescue them.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:48 PM
 
72 posts, read 237,918 times
Reputation: 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by RVlover View Post
Protection against YOU getting (at least) emotionally harmed . Here is a treatise I did on the subject recently ; you may disagree and thats okay. But i think its worth serious 'objective' consideration before One blindly leaps into Cohabitating because it sounds like fun and its a convenient way to skirt around marriage which in itself has some distinct benefits :

1. In a Shackup situation, its the man who clearly has most of the
benefits. (sex anytime, cooked meals, home cleaned, clothes washed, ironing, et al)
2. If the man leaves, the woman has a harder time supporting herself on
her own due to nearly always making less of an income. Her life is
usually sent into upheavel. At least for a time. Its not the same for
the man.
3. If the man leaves, its almost always the woman who feels deserted,
betrayed, used for sex, etc...and due to her emotional makeup as a
woman, she is devastated for a long time to come. Sometimes irrepairably
so.
4. If there are children involved , the Man can easily abandon the
family usually without any legal ramifications whatsoever ; because
marriage never occured , he is not placed in the same class as if he
were married and abandoned his family. He gets off without having to pay
child support leaving the woman in a real financial/emotional bind. Many
times, the Grandparents are imposed upon for support of many types.
5. It whittles away at the sancitity of Marriage which is always best
for a civilized nation. God ordained marriage and is a sacred covenant
; shacking up is not. In a court of law, Shackin up isnt seen in the same light Marriage is (Watch Judge Judy on TV !)
6. It adds to societal degradation thru promoting the philosophy of
using others for selfish reasons .
7. It doesnt develop integrity on behalf of the participants because
usually when things get too difficult and repeated...instead of being
committed to working it out, the door being left ajar is a greater
enticement . Its far easier to do than in a marriage.
8. Fornication is a violation of an absolute moral law and with it comes
plenty of ramifications ; some of which i list herewith. Others which i
have not.
9. Often, a subconscious or overt disrespect toward the woman occurs
in the man because she is often seen as someone not having the required
respect for herself ,which the man appreciates.
10. The participants know, inherently, that its wrong to do but still
choose to suppress their moral consciences to accomodate the fun and
intrique that playing house affords . (at least it does initially).
11. In the event the two get married down the road, the statistics show a greater chance for divorce if they lived together beforehand. Do a google for this info.
12. It sometimes leads to physical abuse because ,inwardly, the man doesnt have the same level of respect as he does for a wife -- a lifelong marriage partner .
This is almost laughable. I won't indulge into why, because you already know that this list you thought up is sexist bigotry.

#1???? How many generation X and Y women do you know who live to cook, clean, and bend over for their husbands? Not too many of those left out there bud. Women are liberated from men now, and certainly don't need to be married to one to achieve happiness or fulfillment in life.

I'm right there with all of you who think marriage is null. It isn't something that I see as being part of my life. I have been cohabiting for 2 years now. Me and my boyfriend don't even share bank accounts. No need to. Whats his is his, whats mine is mine. If our relationship falls apart, we take what is ours and we part ways. Much more simpler than what my parents went through when they got divorced.

thinking about having kids, NOT thinking about marriage.

Last edited by cgadams; 09-28-2009 at 09:16 PM..
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:50 PM
 
Location: New England
914 posts, read 1,536,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Or maybe she just knows herself better then most people who are trying to force themselves into marriage just because the society tells them too.
True, the fact is, this will probably be my mindset until I find someone I think I can really spend the rest of my life with, and outlook is not too good. Thanks for looking out mama.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
She should,its the only topic she ever thinks of.
Relationship forum is agreeably the juiciest topic, and have posted in many different topics... stalk much?
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Sango, TN
24,889 posts, read 20,311,199 times
Reputation: 8606
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem View Post
So are you saying that men have no paternal instincts to stay with a family to help raise his offspring?

Humans are on a higher level than an animal like a dog, cat, horse.

What are you trying to say here?
I wouldn't compare us to dogs, but higher primates, yes.

A man does have parental instincts. Those instincts are to provide while the child is young, and then to leave.

Its in line with what most species do actually. In horses, for instance, they are born standing up, and fairly self sufficient. So the fathers leave before they are even born.

Apes, stay around while the child is very young, but once it becomes capable of doing more on its own, Dad is gone.

So, as I said, this is the cause of the "Seven year itch" so to speak, in my opinion. Mens instincts tell us to stick around, until the child is 6 or 7 years old, and then we want to leave. Of course, women want the same thing, men to leave or to have another child.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:58 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,240,196 times
Reputation: 21264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979 View Post
So I have a theory.

Men and women were never meant to live together longer than 5 or 6 years at a time.

Ancient men and women usually lived seperate lives, away from one another, for long periods of time. You may pick a mate for life, but we actually weren't meant to stay together. Usually the man would stick closer to home until the child reached an age of 6 or 7, which helps to explain the "7 year itch" that many people feel today.

Women are the same way, they don't want us around forever. Every woman I know is usually feed up with their husbands after 5 or 6 years.
You're close. It's actually between 2 - 4 years. Biologically, for the survival of the species it was necessary to spread around the DNA as often as possible. Men, of course, were quite adept at spreading it around at will , women on the other hand, usually did not become "dissatisfied" with their current partner until their fertility returned and the child was fully independent from its mother at the 2-4 year old mark.

Men involved in any aspect of child rearing is a totally learned behavior. Despite what the "touchy feely" folks would have us believe, there is not such thing in NATURE as a "paternal instinct" other than to protect the young from danger (ostensibly more to gain favor with the mother than because of any real attachment with the offspring). LOL

You have hit the topic dead on and I congratulate you for your wisdom and keen sense of logic.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 09-29-2009, 07:37 AM
 
1,310 posts, read 2,640,684 times
Reputation: 581
[quote=cgadams;10962344]This is almost laughable. I won't indulge into why, because you already know that this list you thought up is sexist bigotry.

#1???? How many generation X and Y women do you know who live to cook, clean, and bend over for their husbands? Not too many of those left out there bud. Women are liberated from men now, and certainly don't need to be married to one to achieve happiness or fulfillment in life.

I'm right there with all of you who think marriage is null. It isn't something that I see as being part of my life. I have been cohabiting for 2 years now. Me and my boyfriend don't even share bank accounts. No need to. Whats his is his, whats mine is mine. If our relationship falls apart, we take what is ours and we part ways. Much more simpler than what my parents went through when they got divorced.

thinking about having kids, NOT thinking about marriage.[/quote

Bringing kids into the world outside of marriage is not a good idea im afraid. The Creator who made us and knows us better than we know ourselves and who gave us instructions on whats best for us, is always best. If youre willing to honor him and his protective ways for your life, then blessings will result.
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Old 09-29-2009, 07:40 AM
 
1,310 posts, read 2,640,684 times
Reputation: 581
Quote:
Originally Posted by kshe95girl View Post
Sweetie, I am 47 years old, I lived with my husband for 9 years before we married, I know ALL the "games".
I just dont buy into the God has a better plan for you stuff. He is kinda busy with all the folks starving, wars and what not, He really has better things to do.
I am not trying to insult your faith, but it seems to be a crutch for a lot of people that could solve their own problems but for thinking that God will rescue them.
Thanks for sharing. I used to think that God was a crutch for people at one time also ... but now i think excuses not to get to know God and really experience him in ones life is a crutch so people can have whatever lifestyle they want whether good or bad. Regards.
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Old 09-29-2009, 07:55 AM
 
1,340 posts, read 2,431,362 times
Reputation: 749
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuteishungry View Post
True, the fact is, this will probably be my mindset until I find someone I think I can really spend the rest of my life with, and outlook is not too good. Thanks for looking out mama.


Relationship forum is agreeably the juiciest topic, and have posted in many different topics... stalk much?
I don't know ,do you?
Never thought of it myself.
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