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What is the divorce rate like 50% now here in the U.S. or something.
Hardly anyone keeps their vows anymore- so sad. People give up to easily.
My mom was older when she had me and had me out of wedlock.
Her parents were furious and wanted her to abort me since she wasn't married but she didn't listen to them- my mom has been a wonderful mom and she's never been on welfare.
40 percent....it naturally shot up in the 60s with baby boomers and more access to abuse centers and such...and has declined for awhile remaining stgnant the last few years.
am I really one of the last people in 2010 in the Western world who strongly believes in marriage before kids???
My grandfather used to say "the first baby can come anytime, after that it takes 9 months" Anyway, I don't know if the OP is in a minority or not. My own opinion is that being pregnant is one of the worst reasons to get married. I also don't have a problem with people choosing to be single parents or to have children without being married to their partner (same or opposite sex.)
I agree with you---it seems like media promotes it. The beauty of the system in the United States is these women can choose to get pregnant, live with baby daddy and then get welfare, food stamps and medical coupons while baby daddy may continue to work and the rest of us go to work every day and pay taxes to support that. I am not sure why the system in US rewards that???? I chose to get married. We have two children we had a couple years after getting married.
I do not believe there is any committment in a living together relationship. It is easier to walk away and choose not to work things out even if you do have a child.
We have had our struggles over the last 13 years--there have been days where I have to scrape pennies to get lunch money or buying school supplies broke us for a couple weeks. Bottom line is...We work and support our children with a small percentage of my income and every other tax paying person in the US that supports those mothers and allows them to be home without requesting the mother to look for work for 5 years so she can be home with the baby. Me....I had to go back to work so I could support my family without assistance from the government. It is not okay at all...I disagree with that choice and there should be something in place to monitor it.... I could go on and on but working in a medical facility and seeing insurance coverage and knowing family history I see it all the time. Not okay. If you decide to stop taking your birth control to get pregnant by a man then that is a man you should have long before decided you want to be that man for a long time, share your life, be married...etc. You can pretty much get birth control for free now.
I really, really hate the 'welfare mom' stereotype for single mom's. I am a single Mom (not by choice) and I assure, you, my child lacks for nothing financially. I haven't had to scrape pennies for lunch money either - but I don't sit around and point fingers at folks who have less money either.
I guess being a single mom has made me far less inclined to point fingers at anyone for anything.
As soon as I tell a stranger that I'm a single Mom (say a healthcare professional); I can tell right away the difference in ther estimation of me. I feel compelled (not sure why) to make sure they know that I do it on my OWN with no assistance from the government or anyone else. And, yes, I am educated and have a very good job. So they can just get that 'welfare mom' stereotype right out of their head. Immediately.
The talk is all on the perspective view of an adult and not what a child has to go thru.
Take a child in school who is asked to outline a family tree or history. He/she has a two Mommy or two daddy parent. They will feel left out compared to the other children who are able to go back one or two or three generations back in the family tree.
Recall my one grandaughter asking info of my parents and grandparents going back to Hungary late 1800's and early 1900's. She was thrilled having all the back info.
Listen I had two children out of wedlock and they were raised strictly by me and I never once took a dime of welfare . I am educated and chose to work instead of sit on my butt and draw welfare . I also saw the look on some drs faces when I told them I was a single mother . I always paid their bill with cash or with a credit card and never once did I owe them a dime either . If you are not married and raising kids everyone assumes you are getting welfare I dont know why but they do . I have no problem with people not chosing to be married just because they have kids . as someone else said that is the worst reason to get married .
What irks me is, a man and woman are together for years and have several kids but never both to get married. They are already playing house, might as well make it offical
Exactly why do you think that is is necessary to make a contract with the State?
What majik does this confer upon the relationship?
Why exactly should any 2 people need to have Permission from the State to live together?
It should be obvious that legal marriage is no better than the committment between the parties.
It should be obvious that legal marriage is no better than the committment between the parties.
I agree. When it comes to raising children or any relationship the most important thing is STABILITY. It's not about MAN & WOMAN and some making a legal contract or religious ceremony. It's the emotional commitment to the family. There are many households with a single parent or same-sex parents where children are being raised in stable, loving environments. And it's those married persons with closed minds who are treating the children of the "different" families "different". Family is family. I support family not matter what the makeup. I support marriage in whatever way you define it. Too bad our government won't do the same.
Ok, I think I am the owner of an unpopular opinion...
I mentioned it on another forum in a thread about Brad and Angelina.
I think they should have gotten married before having bio kids.
And I upset some people... I am sorry about that.
But it made me curious - am I really one of the last people in 2010 in the Western world who strongly believes in marriage before kids???
As long as they're good parents, it matters not one iota whether or not they have a piece of paper indicating they choose to be together. Marriage is unnecessary to the good and successful raising of children.
The talk is all on the perspective view of an adult and not what a child has to go thru.
Take a child in school who is asked to outline a family tree or history. He/she has a two Mommy or two daddy parent. They will feel left out compared to the other children who are able to go back one or two or three generations back in the family tree.
Recall my one grandaughter asking info of my parents and grandparents going back to Hungary late 1800's and early 1900's. She was thrilled having all the back info.
Pity the child with a BLANK paper in hand.
Oh, brother. Just because a child's parents aren't married doesn't mean they have no known ancestry or parentage. By your logic, adoption is a terrible thing.
My brother has a son - nearly 5 years old and is still with the boys mother - but he refuses to marry her.
WTF? Having a baby is a much bigger deal than marriage. Much bigger.
I just don't get it - he says he isn't ready for that commitment.
You lost me at "Not ready" How can it be?
Sigh.
That's easy. He is willing to be committed to the kid (his own flesh and blood) and not to this woman.
I think it makes perfect sense for someone to be able to be a devoted parent without having to be a devoted spouse.
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Anyway, I don't know if the OP is in a minority or not. My own opinion is that being pregnant is one of the worst reasons to get married. I also don't have a problem with people choosing to be single parents or to have children without being married to their partner (same or opposite sex.)
By your logic, adoption is a terrible thing. 
