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If you had an extended family member make a lot of unethical decisions, such as lying to get a mortgage, collecting rent on houses they aren't paying the mortgage on, and crying to relatives for money and to bail them out repeatedly and pretty much working the system every way they can, what would you do? This is for extended family.
I personally don't tolerate it and feel compelled to act, either by distancing myself from that person, confronting them, or if it's serious enough, going over their heads.
Case in point: one of my in-laws with horrendous credit went so far as to put her utilities in her 10-yr-old child's name, since said utility companies refused to extend services until they finally paid the arrears. While this was going on, this person was illegally obtaining cable and also hitting up their parents (on fixed income) for drug money.
I called the police, CPS, and the utility companies. At least the utility companies actually did something.
Wow, they must have gotten notes from my relative. They actually asked someone retired on a fixed income to sign for a house for them. How someone would think the world works like that, I have no clue. It didn't work, thankfully. I believe that people can benefit from this sort of scamming and using to some degree in the short run, but in the long run you are much much better off if you live ethically.
If you had an extended family member make a lot of unethical decisions, such as lying to get a mortgage, collecting rent on houses they aren't paying the mortgage on, and crying to relatives for money and to bail them out repeatedly and pretty much working the system every way they can, what would you do? This is for extended family.
Stay away from that person. That's about all you can do.
On a per-case basis. Using a hard and fast rule and trying to apply it to every situation is seldom a good idea.
If your wife has used poor judgment and gotten herself into a sticky situation, you do what you need to do to get her off the hook. If your nephew keeps getting arrested for beating h is wife and phoning you collect to bail him out of jail, you stop accepting the charges.
If you had an extended family member make a lot of unethical decisions, such as lying to get a mortgage, collecting rent on houses they aren't paying the mortgage on, and crying to relatives for money and to bail them out repeatedly and pretty much working the system every way they can, what would you do? This is for extended family.
Minimize & distance, but do not cut ties...
Added: Cutting ties, especially publicly, has repercussions that will last a lifetime and threaten other family relationships which must choose between you and Mr. Unethical. Also, in the grand scheme of things these transgressions are not so horrible. Doen the road, you may need that familial support if you face must more grave issues (death, murder, poverty, etc.).
"Permanent" Severance is...well...permanent...
S.
Last edited by Sandpointian; 01-28-2010 at 07:48 AM..
If you had an extended family member make a lot of unethical decisions, such as lying to get a mortgage, collecting rent on houses they aren't paying the mortgage on, and crying to relatives for money and to bail them out repeatedly and pretty much working the system every way they can, what would you do? This is for extended family.
Wouldn't have anything to do with them. Even if it was for a nuclear family member. You may not be able to control others, but you sure as hell can control yourself. Those choices are all your own. You have to live with yourself first.
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