Do you feel you 'have' to be around your own race to bond? (multiculturalism, Mexican)

[Minier]

Of course this has to be a two way street and prejudices , racism and xenophobia go both ways . When both sides can let go of silly notions about our own kind being somehow "superior" then true bonding can occur and in my experience does.

Therein lies the real problem. There ARE overwhelming notions about who is superior and strong motivations to maintain superiority. And while it's absolutely a two way street, historically, we can't deny that street has mostly gone one way. History can't be erased in a single round of kumbaya (as beautiful as that would be) so I think it's perfectly understandable and okay for people to find comfort in their herds if they so choose, as long as hopefully, there is basic respect for the space and freedom of other "herds". There are plenty of interesting and varies personalities within any given herd, so that I don't think anyone would necessarily be "bored."

Having said all that, I have ventured far and wide outside of my own ethnic group, making close friendships in varied racial/ethnic and SES circles. That has been wonderful for me because of who I am. I think some of the people I've met have been that much more interesting to me BECAUSE they were fully and permanently planted in their own groups and, therefore, reflected it's full flavors (and warts) giving me greater opportunity to learn about a "purer" aspect of a given culture (like the difference between hanging out with someone who's heritage is Italian vs. hanging out with a Sicilian guy in Sicily. If everyone was intermingling and being the same worldly self, we would be one big cultural mish-mash ... maybe more peaceful, but maybe more beige too.

I have to say that, mingling with so many different races outside of my group has also jaded me a bit. I started out extremely color-blind, but have not been accorded the same innocence and blank slate. It sometimes makes me want to crawl back to my "home herd" to feel "safe" and fully "in" for a while (though, admittedly, I've strayed so far and so long that I don't think I have a "home herd" anymore).

As to your question about feeling "bonded" with one's race/ ethnic group only by spending time with them. Well, I don't think one needs to be EXCLUSIVELY spending time with them in order to feel bonded, however, culture is a living, evolving thing and, yes, if you spend enough time away from your cultural group, you will lose track of it a bit, even though you'll always technically be this or that race/ color/ ethnicity, you may no longer be attuned to where that group's cultural priorities and issues lay. So SOME meaningful contact is needed in order to maintain that bond within a community.

Great question, btw!

[Tin Knocker]

Do you feel you 'have' to be around your own race to bond?

You mean humans? yup.

[Omaha Rocks]

I'm not sure what this thread is even supposed to be about.

I don't "bond" to very many people. I don't need to, nor do I think any of us need to.

Even the people I am bonded to, I can't same I'm bonded in the same way. For instance, I'm bonded with my wife in a very different way than I'm bonded with a decades-long professor friend of mine.


That said, I feel quite comfortable around most people, regardless of their race, gender or color. I don't feel threatened when eating at a primarily black soul-food restaurant, just because I'm one of very few white guys there. However, I'd probably feel threatened if I was actually being threatened.

I recently gave blood, and the nurse doing the needlework was a Muslim immigrant from Turkey. Fascinating woman. Fortunately it was a slow day, so we got to sit and *** for quite awhile. We even talked about the War in Iraq (she feels it was necessary, but it's now time for the USA to get out). I don't know that I bonded with her, but it was a fun bleed...


Seems to me that if we're decent and open-minded about meeting and visiting with people, they tend to act that way toward us as well. Or at least that's been my experience.

[jtur88]

I have ridden on hundreds of buses on four continents in which I was the only passenger with any European ancestry. The passengers on a bus is a good example of people who form a temporary but quite ardent bond. A baby sits on the lap of any stranger who has room on her lap. People share their food with complete strangers. Everyone helps strangers find the right stop. When a bus starts to pull out and one passenger is still in the bathroom, the passengers tell the driver to wait, there is somebody missing. Being of a different "race" is never a factor---at least, it was never seen to be in my experience. We've been invited home by fellow passengers. Everywhere I've ever been, I was treated no differently on account of my strangeness. Since we travel light, my wife has bus-sat dozens of miscellaneous babies whose mothers were burdened with belongings. Mothers bond easily in sign and body language about things like that.

[miu]

I am Chinese and was born here. I have always felt comfortable in every part of the US that I've lived and worked in, even when I was surrounded by white people and without Asians around me. Maybe it's because English is my first and only language.

And because I grew up in the US, I have little in common culturally with Asians that have immigrated here or who are more traditionally minded.

[Spookmeister]

If we have the same interests and values, we don't even have to be the same species!

[Huckleberry3911948]

to answer your post-- hate/fear is a good bond. why is it that when i see the word race used more than 5 times in an OP its a BM post and nobody else? dont get me wrong, doesnt mean its an invalid post of your feelings. but why is only 6.5% of the population focused on this? been reading these posts for 3 years, they are always the same in substance, an attempt to explain human behavior via skin tone. btw im non white see my profile.

[Le Lune]

If you took a basic sociology course, you would understand...

Humans can be classified as a social animal and thrive best being in comfort. Unlike other animals, we have something called culture, skin color, race, etc (i.e classification). Sub-consciously (or consciously), we feel we can relate the best to those that are similar to us (in this case, skin color) as we share similarities and background that other races do not have.

If the social construct of race or culture did not appear, this thread would not exist as people would get along better with people and not people would get along better with people of their own race.

[etacarinae]

Society is screwed up - it has positives , but from what I see and read , unfortunately , they do not outweigh the negatives. To answer the query , no. I don't feel comfortable with those who are closed minded to the point of baseless stereotypes , limited mindsets(oh , I'll never do that or go there because members of my ethnicity don't) , or outright stupidity. Maybe dipping below sensors for some alone time would suffice. Just a suggestion , not an attempt to impose my lifestyle. I see this all the time. This 'cliquism' , in its truest form , only leads to increased seperatism , and proliferates the ever present 'us versus them' mentality that has dropped a dark shroud over our planet.

[h0tmess]

Hmm. No, I don't need to be around other white people to be comfortable enough to make friends. I've had jobs and some classes where there were more blacks than whites and made friends.

Currently, I'm in a bad living situation. I live in an apartment complex near camden NJ, lol, so it's pretty ghetto here. It's hard to look at certain things that go on here..and feel comfortable with it. Once our lease is up we are going to try a bit more uppity place. Maybe it's a general "people on Section 8" thing, or maybe it really is "living with blacks and puerto ricans". But I want to live in an area mostly white and see if things are any better. Of course, i'll be flamed for being honest.