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View Poll Results: Which is worse, to have had and lost it or to have never had?
It's worse to have had it and then lost it. 16 41.03%
It's worse to have never had it at all. 23 58.97%
Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
Old 03-22-2010, 08:41 AM
 
768 posts, read 933,248 times
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Which is worse, to have had and lost or to have never had?


As to have had; you fill in the blank. Perhaps it was love, friendship, wealth, fame or whatever you value. If you can, give a brief reason for your answer.
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Simmering in DFW
6,947 posts, read 18,681,510 times
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Well, it would take wisdom and acceptance to appreciate the joy of having while living with the loss. But ongoing contentment would most likely be prevalent in not having had at all. So the basic question is how deeply ongoing contentment is valued over the chance of bliss -- perhaps temporary.

Personally, as a remarried widow I am glad to have had; it gave me the incentive to risk partnership again. Since I am from Texas, I like the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks; it addresses this topic from my perspective.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,523,609 times
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When you get to be around my age, you will understand that just about all you have is the accumulation of what you once had but don't have anymore. And in the end, the things you will regret are those that you could have had, but didn't.

So, quite clearly, it is worse to have never had, than to have had and lost. For in the end, all is lost, but it's what you are.

I've seen the sun at midnight and Venus at noon, and over a hundred countries and a thousand kinds of birds. I see none of them now, but I've not lost them.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:15 AM
 
768 posts, read 933,248 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirl View Post
Well, it would take wisdom and acceptance to appreciate the joy of having while living with the loss. But ongoing contentment would most likely be prevalent in not having had at all. So the basic question is how deeply ongoing contentment is valued over the chance of bliss -- perhaps temporary.

Personally, as a remarried widow I am glad to have had; it gave me the incentive to risk partnership again. Since I am from Texas, I like the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks; it addresses this topic from my perspective.

Thank you, that is a very thoughtful reply.
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Old 03-22-2010, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Pueblo - Colorado's Second City
12,098 posts, read 20,344,698 times
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I put the first but I think it depends.

There are some people that even though I miss after they were in my life I knew I grew a lot by knowing them thus I am glad I met them. However, there are some that I wish I would never have known. For example this guy that I am finally about over did not make my life better and I believe I would have been better off not knowing him but maybe I met him to help him because that I did. So maybe its not all about whats the best for you but there is a greater good. Just thinking as I type.
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Old 03-22-2010, 10:26 PM
 
48,519 posts, read 80,998,062 times
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Nothing is worse than to never have experience things ;generally.I rather be a american that had it than a third world person that never has the chance even.Would you rather be a football palyer who played in a championship game and losss or one that never played in a champion shgip game. I would ahve rather played and loss.
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Old 03-22-2010, 10:54 PM
 
3,651 posts, read 8,111,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
Nothing is worse than to never have experience things ;generally.I rather be a american that had it than a third world person that never has the chance even.Would you rather be a football palyer who played in a championship game and losss or one that never played in a champion shgip game. I would ahve rather played and loss.
Exactly. To have experienced less is to have lived less. Nothing sadder. And bad times make the good ones that much better.
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Old 03-23-2010, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
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I'm 64 and have been around the block a couple times -- been known by many and forgotten by most, been a millionaire and not had the money for next month's mortgage, had the most adoring wife and best marriage and been widowed.

I ran into an old friend of mine the other day. We were both lamenting how we'd lost our fortunes and had to work now, when we could have both retired at 35. "But we sure had fun," I said. And he burst out laughing. He had sunk a little lower than I had, going bankrupt at around age 40. "Yanno, that's what my mom told me when I had lost everything. She said I'd had more fun than anyone she knew." And we both walked away from each other nodding our heads and laughing aloud. He was well known for the fun he had, and he and I both knew we were lucky to have experienced those days of fast sports cars and even faster airplanes -- and in HIS case, still faster women!

I can't afford the things I could 25 years ago, but I can still enjoy the memories of those years, as I can the years with the love of my life. Sure, I miss those days, but I'm sure glad I had them when I did.
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Old 03-24-2010, 10:59 AM
 
731 posts, read 1,315,076 times
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I think it depends on the context. I don't know if I ever had anything except experiences. Everything material eventually fades away, money, cars, stuff--it is all gone after a while. It is better to me to have never had material things versus to have had them and lost them. Experiences are not material and you keep them forever if you want, and that is what life is made of. Then again, if you never had the experience how would know if you missed out on something? You would be oblivious to what it was you missed.
And I truly think you don't have to have "things" in order to have fun and enjoy life. Of course I may say this because I grew up poor, didn't have a lot of posessions, later, inherited a lot of money and became a widow. My fondest memories are of when I was young and trying very hard to make ends meet and I look back and smile at the things we used to do.

Hope that makes some sort of sense, to me it does.

Last edited by tinynot; 03-24-2010 at 11:06 AM.. Reason: added text and removed something that was dumb
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Old 03-24-2010, 07:54 PM
 
Location: NorthTexas
634 posts, read 1,345,228 times
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They say that ignorance is bliss but I believe even ignorant people yearn for things that can never be for them and that is truly sad.
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