The problem with Facebook, privacy and social networking sites (enemies, generation, regular)
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Over the past five or so years, the booming popularity of social networking sites has added a new dimension to many of our lives whether we like it or not. In its infancy, social networking sites seemed fun and innocent. It was a great way to find out that people who were your friends once upon time, who may have moved far away or don't live near you anymore, were still alive and well. It was also a great way to keep up with your circle of friends who you see on a regular basis as well.
However, the ugly downside of social networking sites is apparent. Every piece of information you choose to post on the internet can potentially harm you in a multitude of ways. Facebook can keep you from getting a job or get you fired from the one you have already. One little slip up on Facebook or Twitter also could very easily ruin your reputation with everyone you have ever known in your life. All it takes is to be tagged in a uncompromising photo that you thought no one would every see. Many people who defend social networking sites would argue that there are certain privacy features that keep everyone from viewing what you put on your profile. But the nature of modern social networking sites is that there is no telling what is truly private or not. The creator of Facebook, himself, Mark Zuckerberg casually declared an all-out war on people's privacy across the world when he said he believes that privacy is dead and people should share more and more personal information about themselves over the information superhighway without restraint. This is quite scary if you think about it. Zuckerberg also failed to mention that Facebook is a notable factor in ruining approximately one in five marriages today and that there is a rising clinical prognosis for what has been termed as Facebook addiction with many people logging on to Facebook 20-40+ hours a week.
Also, many suicides and murders are increasingly becoming linked to interactions and postings on social networking/media sites. Although most social networking users don't face the harshest and most extreme consequences of using such popular sites as Facebook and Twitter, I feel as if social networking sites actually erode the quality of existing friendships and inevitably warps the way casual acquaintances perceive you as a person. This is because sharing your deepest most personal thoughts with anyone reading is unnatural if not downright dangerous. Social networking has resurrected a certain juvenile pettiness that has laid dormant in our minds since high school. People who are your friends, people who you barely know and sometimes even perfect strangers are constantly judging you through every little thing you post about yourself. Facebook has become a place where people feel safe behind their computer screens to say nasty vile things to people that they never would have the balls to say in real life. Friendships end and enemies are made everyday unnecessarily through postings and messaging on Facebook. Also, there are no winners on Facebook. People with thousands of Facebook "friends" are killing their privacy and putting themselves at more risk with every person they add. People with few Facebook friends are victim of judgement as well. In this regard, Facebook is hurting the self-esteem of young children and teenagers.
One can easily argue that all of these problems with social networking/media sites only reflect already existing problems that stem from the imperfections of human nature. What do you think? Are increasingly powerful and omnipresent social networking sites inherently dangerous and a sign that we will be living in a Matrix-like digital police state one day if we aren't already? Or is online social networking good in moderation with discipline? Do you think social networking sites are only a temporary fad that will be gone next year? Or is the multi-billion dollar Facebook industry here to stay manifested as a modern-day incarnation of a harmful all-knowing central database, that King of the Hill's Dale Gribble called "The Beast", and ruin all of our lives in ways we have yet to imagine?
Last edited by goldenchild08; 04-13-2011 at 04:13 AM..
However, the ugly downside of social networking sites is apparent.
You know how to solve that problem, right? Don't use the site!
I know that sounds ridiculously simple, perhaps even naive. But as a person who has never--no, not even once--logged on to either Facebook or Twitter, I can assure you that it's possible to live your life without either one! As a means of edging towards the same conclusion, ask yourself this question: how did you get by before the internet became popular?
Firstly, I feel you have covered too many issues, so I'll just comment on the ones that annoy me most.
To begin, it really makes me angry when people want to blame 'facebook' for their cheating spouses.
FFS facebook doesn't make you marry the wrong person, doesn't change who you are.
People are responsible for their own behaviour. Seriously.
I have a FB page and so does my husband, it hasn't made either of us cheat or affected our marriage at all.
Go figure.
Secondly, the suicide of the woman who took the pills and wrote a good bye message on her wall.
It's a very sad story and most unfortunate, but the truth is that FB user would have only known a fraction of her 1000+ friends in real life.
There seems to have been many troubles in her life before she committed suicide, including having 'frenemies' as FB friends.
I have heard many more stories of suicidal people reaching out on facebook where they were able to be talked around and helped.
But at the end of the day - facebook is not to blame.
The good, the bad and the ugly is all a reflection of it's users.
And there is plenty of good.
People always like to focus on the negative, to blame something or someone else for their troubles.
It's ridiculous.
Each negative story makes the news and is hyped like crazy because negativity sells better than positivity.
The sky is not falling. So chill.
**PS. Don't pay too much attention to the 'chilling warnings' by the leading neuroscientist in your posted article above. She hasn't done a single lick of research and doesn't intend to.
Last edited by TumbleBug; 04-13-2011 at 06:44 AM..
Have to......no, MUST totally agree with TumbleBug!
I have a FB page for wife and I and we are in our early 60's. A number of my high school classmates from 1968 also have a FB page. I do get junk mail "invites" to unknown girls FB page and I simply delete the junk mail.......no big deal! My wife has recieved the same kind of junk mail and just hits the "delete" button......gone!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TumbleBug
I have a few problems with your post.
Firstly, I feel you have covered too many issues, so I'll just comment on the ones that annoy me most.
To begin, it really makes me angry when people want to blame 'facebook' for their cheating spouses.
FFS facebook doesn't make you marry the wrong person, doesn't change who you are.
People are responsible for their own behaviour. Seriously.
I have a FB page and so does my husband, it hasn't made either of us cheat or affected our marriage at all.
Go figure.
Secondly, the suicide of the woman who took the pills and wrote a good bye message on her wall.
It's a very sad story and most unfortunate, but the truth is that FB user would have only known a fraction of her 1000+ friends in real life.
There seems to have been many troubles in her life before she committed suicide, including having 'frenemies' as FB friends.
I have heard many more stories of suicidal people reaching out on facebook where they were able to be talked around and helped.
But at the end of the day - facebook is not to blame.
The good, the bad and the ugly is all a reflection of it's users.
And there is plenty of good.
People always like to focus on the negative, to blame something or someone else for their troubles.
It's ridiculous.
Each negative story makes the news and is hyped like crazy because negativity sells better than positivity.
The sky is not falling. So chill.
**PS. Don't pay too much attention to the 'chilling warnings' by the leading neuroscientist in your posted article above. She hasn't done a single lick of research and doesn't intend to.
IMPO I believe the lack of face-to-face and voice communication has caused our society and especially young people to become socially inept, not to mention totally lacking in spelling. I have watched two people having dinner in a restaurant texting away rather than talking to each other.
Facebook is what you make of it, nothing more, nothing less. I use it every day to keep in touch with my extended family, which is scattered all over the country, and my old friends from high school. My husband has FB too, for the same reasons.
It all comes down to how you use it. It's called "having common sence".
As someone who lives overseas from my family and many friends, I absolutely love Facebook.
However I do agree that it can either be great or really bad.
The above link literally made me cry. WTF is wrong with people?
I wonder how Friend A feels now? What a disgrace to humanity!
I can also see how it could lead to marriage and relationship issues that MIGHT otherwise not have happened.
Apparently there is some bond people feel to their early 'loves' which transcends age, weight and looks to a great extent. If you saw the person and didn't know them you wouldn't look twice, but because you had a love affair with them when you were 18 they are still deeply attractive.
I actually don't find this to be true, but apparently a lot of people do.
Facebook allows you to easily find of be located by ex loves and relationships at the push of a button. People you might have never seen again and suddenly available and you can see all their photos, etc.
Having said that no one who has no intention of ever cheating is going to suddenly do so because of Facebook. I have exes on my Facebook and treat them just the same as any other friend. Anything I wouldn't want by husband to read would never get posted. It's really just common sense.
Funny part about statement in red (below), wife and I went to a local restaurant for Valentines Day dinner. While waiting for the dinner, I decided to check the place out (walk around) and notice that some of the booths had color tv's in them. I asked a waitress about this and she told me "I hate them because couples or families should come here to eat and talk, not watch tv. If they want to watch tv, they should stay at home and order a pizza." I looked at the waitress and said "you don't have to work here if you don't like the way the restaurant is set up! Not only that, I'd watch bad-mouthing a place where I work at to a customer." I happen to own a small business. Personally, I liked seeing the tv's and some of the customers were in those booths watching a show.
Just like anything in life, you don't like it.........DON'T USE IT!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellwood
IMPO I believe the lack of face-to-face and voice communication has caused our society and especially young people to become socially inept, not to mention totally lacking in spelling. I have watched two people having dinner in a restaurant texting away rather than talking to each other.
I read OP's post more as an interesting observation of how Facebook and social networking has changed our lives. For those who are saying "my spouse and I have Facebook pages and it hasn't broken up our marriage", well, ok, good for you. I don't drive drunk but it doesn't mean that drunk driving isn't a problem just because I don't do it.
Social networking represents such a significant change in how we communicate, and it has happened so quickly. And while some are saying "easy solution--don't use it", the point is, millions in our society are and they are not going to stop using it. This is not going away. Although I do wonder if there is the potential for a backlash to the phenomenon of "over sharing" and maybe in a generation or so things will go the other way.
I personally have stopped using Facebook. Off the top of my head, I can think of 5 or 6 posts on Facebook that cause some level of family distress in a period of less than a year. From simple photos of siblings at a sporting event after that same sibling borrowed $ from another sibling (why are they buying tickets to a sporting event if they needed to borrow money?), to a friend's spouse who has connected with a former girlfriend and is communicating with them regularly (i.e., "writing on each other's walls, etc"), to a divorced couple posting "canoodling" type pictures of their new romantic interests for all their friends to see--friends who are still shocked that they are not together anymore (and the divorced couple are also Facebook friends and see these pictures), to someone who did not understand what others can read and wrote a horribly scathing/hurtful letter to a friend not realizing that all of her contacts could see it, including the person disparage in the letter; I could go on and on. As I said, because of this I have stopped using Facebook, but I do miss seeing pictures of nieces and nephews, etc.
What I wonder is what is next? I could very easily envision a time in the future where all of the moments in our life are captured on video and transmitted real time to the world through Facebook. It sounds insane but based on what people are sharing now, I could see this as the next natural progression.
It really is fascinating and spooky as well. The more I think about it, the more I am so glad that I have chosen to stop using it.
I don't think social networking sites are necessarily the cause of many problems, but they make already existing problems much more visible. These sites are a window into human nature, and they expose many of our already-existing faults. In many ways, I think it helps keep us accountable for our actions. The people complaining about lack of privacy are a joke. Don't post personal, private information on the world wide web if you don't want a worldwide web of people to see it.
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Socially inept society
