Is "niceness" a competitive disadvantage? (wisdom, high school, worker)
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Yeah, but that's only a book. I'm talking about my real life expierence.
A book can be more accurate than real life experiences. You only know a few people, and their anecdotal experiences may not represent the norm. But a book that is a best seller becomes successful because a very large number of people recognize the events as being true to life.
Perhaps. If you are into competition. My question would be 'is competition a disadvantage?' I say it is, in this context. I say it's simply a motivational tool for those who need to be stroked in order to be willing to put any effort into anything.
As for women and relationships: if they want a Neanderthal, they'll have to look elsewhere.
A book can be more accurate than real life experiences. You only know a few people, and their anecdotal experiences may not represent the norm. But a book that is a best seller becomes successful because a very large number of people recognize the events as being true to life.
Dude, you're really getting on my nerves. I simply told what I do when somebody pisess me off - I kill them.
I don't want to be compared with a fictional character from some crappy book.
Perhaps. If you are into competition. My question would be 'is competition a disadvantage?' I say it is, in this context. I say it's simply a motivational tool for those who need to be stroked in order to be willing to put any effort into anything.
As for women and relationships: if they want a Neanderthal, they'll have to look elsewhere.
So competition does not appear naturally in nature? I think competition is the natural by product of scarcity. If there were enough of what every entity needed and wanted to go around, then there would be no need to compete to get it. Indeed, economics is predicated upon scarcity.
So competition does not appear naturally in nature? I think competition is the natural by product of scarcity. If there were enough of what every entity needed and wanted to go around, then there would be no need to compete to get it. Indeed, economics is predicated upon scarcity.
Yes, it appears in nature. But I would guess that our earliest ancestors relied more on cooperation to survive than competition. I think there can be both good and bad points to each behavior. Perhaps a balance between the two is the best approach. Either way, I think it can be handled in a civilized manner. Being a jerk is never really a desirable trait in my book--just people to be avoided. Life's too short for that.
I consider myself very agreeable, and my luck with the ladies has never been anything worse than good (on the other hand, I wouldn't think people view me as a boring person comparable to a kiddy ride). Then again, it's only in my nature to be "nice," and I don't view it as insincerity by any means. I'm also attracted to fluffy, quirky individuals myself. In my own personal experience, being nice may not get me up the corporate ladder as quickly as somebody else (although it usually does), but it's better for the soul.
I agree with much of what you said, however, my experience in corporate banking (that is not where I am employed now) is that the a-holes rose to the top. I agree that if you are a bottom feeder that being a nice guy helps you to stick around more than the a-hole. However, often times draconian decisions are needed to be made by management that hurt many people and nice guys are more reluctant to make be as draconian as the a-hole. Maybe a lot has to do with being aggressive or passive or being compassionate or callous. A-holes are usually more aggressive and less compasionate....at least outwardly.
Probably true in mean fields like banking, finance, law, etc. But even the A-holes need allys, so they may be nice to 10 people and A-holes to 50.
Any chick under 25...maybe 30 will not want a "nice" guy until they get burned too many times by a "bad boy". Once they get that our of their system, they will want to get married to a family man.
Or a guy that has some decency, integrity, and gentleness to his persona. Being with someone who is willfully rebellious (aka: bad boy/gal) is not so much fun in the final analysis. It might work well in Hollywood movies, but then again, Hollywood isnt exactly into truth, reality, or moral rationality.
What is a nice guy like? Well,...Nice guys show you respect. They care about you. They don't look for the next best thing to come around. They love you for who you are ...faults and all. They do not try to change you. They are nice to other people too.... They aren't just nice some of the time... they are generally nice to everyone. They are hard working and they also like to play hard. Nice guys are not pushy but if you push them away, they may not come back. They respect your wishes. They want you to be happy. If you treat them the same way, you will have a special life.
No wonder nice guys finish last! What good woman would ever want that?
What is a nice guy like? Well,...Nice guys show you respect. They care about you. They don't look for the next best thing to come around. They love you for who you are ...faults and all. They do not try to change you. They are nice to other people too.... They aren't just nice some of the time... they are generally nice to everyone. They are hard working and they also like to play hard. Nice guys are not pushy but if you push them away, they may not come back. They respect your wishes. They want you to be happy. If you treat them the same way, you will have a special life.
No wonder nice guys finish last! What good woman would ever want that?
for the women i've met nice is boring. nice is a doormat, nice is being gay, nice is not knowing what the hell is going on.
i am not nice. i'm courteous, kind, and compassionate, but also adventurous, outgoing, and i like to do exciting things.
guys care about being successful and the world does not allow apathy towards success. nice guys care about peoples feelings, they're soooo nice and pleasant to be around, but will place people before the business(thats not good). people view a**holes as callous uncaring people, but infact they are only prioritizing their concerns, their job is numero uno, associations with people come second, and multitasking is not an option when your boss is excepting results.
sometimes there are emotional casualties, but the person will get over it and move on, a casualty to my job places it in jeopardy. if its my job or your feelings...my job will win.
so pardon me if i have pondered the "nice guys finish last" and decided that i will be kind and courteous as long as it is not interfering with any work or prior commitments i have afforded myself through my prioritization of success in my life.
from 8-5 my job is number one.
however after 5 (and lunches) (save for small interruptions) my girlfriend is number one and i show her love and do everything i can to please her, its a full time job in and of itself. (that does not include playing her emotional games when she wants to pit me against other people, or try and get me to say something i wouldn't normally agree too under average circumstances.)
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