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Greensboro, Winston-Salem, High Point The Triad Area
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Old 11-05-2006, 10:14 AM
 
110 posts, read 416,041 times
Reputation: 53

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mariwithani View Post
I had no idea it would take me three very long years to make close friends in Oregon. For the longest time, I thought there must be something wrong with me!!!!
~Mari

Hey Mari - I had the same experience! I have lived in Oregon for 10 years, just actually joined my church here 2 years ago, although I have been going there for some time. I moved here from southern Illinois, where I had lived for 20 years and had very strong ties. Now after 10 years I am finally starting to feel "at home" again, and I'll be moving to NC in a few months! Am I crazy! But I am hoping that I've learned from my past experiences, and grown as a person. I used to be somewhat shy, and I thought people just didn't want to get to know me. I realize now that no matter who you are, most people aren't going to reach out and make the effort to get to know you and to draw you into their circle. If I want friends in NC, I will have to be the one to reach out. And I'm sure there will be lots of other people who also need friends and are just waiting for someone to befriend them. Just look at this forum - there are LOTS of new people in North Carolina. What a huge resource of potential friends!
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Old 11-05-2006, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Clayton
12 posts, read 31,028 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Putty View Post
Hi, I live outside the Greensboro/W-S area and I am a transplant from the midwest. I have been here awhile and still feel alone. I have tried churches/clubs and such and still have such a hard time connecting. Am I living in the wrong area of NC or should I move out of state? I am 50, and a single female, is that the problem? I think family seems to settle a person, kids in school, etc. I don't have that! Anyone else feel like this? or is it just me?
I would like to stay, but a times I feel recreationally/socially starved. I may feel like that anywhere, so moving isn't always the answer, it is probably within myself somewhere.

Any advice for me?
Hello Putty,

Well, yes and no. Sure, part of it comes from you but with the best will in the world, you cannot build something with nothing. I am in the same situation and age group as yourself, I moved last February from MD to NC and the only friendly person I know to date is the realtor who sold me the house I live in.

My salvation will be to ignore the place I moved into and connect with social clubs in Cary. This is a lively town and within reasonable driving distance for me. I visited Goldsboro only twice so I do not know what it has to offer in the way of social activities, but it probably has less that the Raleigh area.

To make the transition works in NC you need to be 1.= a family with children. 2.= a golfer. Since I am neither, I have been feeling very isolated indeed but I do like the geographical beauty of NC and I intend to stay. Something else will have to give :-)

Don't give up, Yall, soon there will be enough of us to start socializing!
Cheers,
Solange

Last edited by Solange Darcy; 11-05-2006 at 08:47 PM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 11-05-2006, 11:02 PM
 
49 posts, read 211,679 times
Reputation: 33
Try a city council meeting. Just a thought.
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Old 11-06-2006, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
956 posts, read 4,074,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USAGIRL View Post
Try a city council meeting. Just a thought.
Sorry, but a bad idea USAgirl. Last thing they want is a Yankee meddling in their affairs.
Putty - I was a Midwesterner who spent 12 years trying to feel at home in NC, and could never get over the hump. I'd give it a couple of years. If you don't feel at home by then, you probably won't.
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Old 11-07-2006, 08:49 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 9,608,178 times
Reputation: 7044
When we moved to NC and I got all the housing sorted out, it took another 2 years to feel comfortable and at home. I finally found a quilting guild and a smaller one and then was invited to join a quilting bee. So I found a larger group of ladies that I could connect with and thru them a smaller more intimate group to socialize with.

I also started taking classes and got involved in their statewide seminars. What fun.

If we moved again, I would visit all the local craft stores and talk up the owner for ideas about groups and classes. Then I would arrange to attend some classes and meet the membership person.

I would also get online and try to find interest groups. Suggestions for me would be Senior groups, Simple Living groups, Vegetarian groups, gardening groups, animal rescue groups, food coops, etc. Yours would be totally different.

It was not the place but the activities that made my feel at home. I found a lot in NC that was pretty great. We moved back due to a corporate decision and some pretty serious allergies I was experiencing, probably due to the chemicals in and around our new home.
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Old 11-07-2006, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,232 posts, read 3,467,861 times
Reputation: 604
Quote:
Originally Posted by mhogan10010 View Post
Sorry, but a bad idea USAgirl. Last thing they want is a Yankee meddling in their affairs.
Really?! Then that is exactly where I want to go to shake things up a bit. Nothing more exciting than a group of people resisting some form of change. Providing such change is for the better.
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Old 11-08-2006, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
956 posts, read 4,074,044 times
Reputation: 365
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliBoy View Post
Really?! Then that is exactly where I want to go to shake things up a bit. Nothing more exciting than a group of people resisting some form of change. Providing such change is for the better.
If you move to the growing cities in the Piedmont, then its not such a big deal. You go to a small town though.....Change is not something that they embrace. I have even seen insiders (homeboys) get stone walled trying to make some incremental changes.
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Old 11-08-2006, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
1,232 posts, read 3,467,861 times
Reputation: 604
Quote:
Originally Posted by mhogan10010 View Post
If you move to the growing cities in the Piedmont, then its not such a big deal. You go to a small town though.....Change is not something that they embrace. I have even seen insiders (homeboys) get stone walled trying to make some incremental changes.
Yes, I do know about such things. Although, it's certainly understandable, as well. Unfortunately, when it comes to progress (or perceived progress), such tyraids and resistance is futile after a while. Every generation wants to make their impression, and eventually, change is made. I have acreage in a small, but desireable, town in Central Montana, and already Wal-Mart, Costco, and Home Depot want a presence there. There is definitely major resistance from the old timers. But the younger locals want it. And eventually, they will have it. It's just a matter of time.

Anyway, I digress since my commentary is really something that is best left for a separate thread.

As for the OP's concerns, have you considered spreading your geographic wings and look outside for networking opportunities with others of like interest? I'm not terribly younger than yourself, and already, I've developed a nice little network of contacts that will prove to be a great bunch of people to socialize and have fun on weekends, and such. The Internet is great tool for such netoworking.
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Old 07-06-2008, 03:59 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,373 times
Reputation: 10
Default Triad Blues

I moved to WS from California for Graduate school and two years later continue to feel like the problem just has to be either this place or me. I desperately miss my friends who live so far away and who seem to have so much to do with so many people. While my line of work puts a little damper on the time...I still have found few people to connect with. I am in no way interested in Church. I do not have a family. I go to school/work, but have found most people I know from there either have a family or have proven to be not so good friend material. Meeting good friends has been absolutely impossible here and all I can think to do is get out as soon as I finish. Unfortunately I have no advice for you...because I came to this site looking for some kind of advice or social group to attend. I hate to sound so negative. I just can't put a finger on what it is that is missing.
Hope you have started to settle in!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:54 AM
 
39 posts, read 101,598 times
Reputation: 47
Even though I lived in NC most of my life, I'm having a hard time fitting in with people here, too.

BTW, I live in High Point.
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