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Greensboro, Winston-Salem, High Point The Triad Area
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Old 07-24-2015, 07:36 AM
 
7,278 posts, read 13,523,592 times
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None of this talk matches anything I've ever experienced. I have friends of all colors, creeds, shapes, and sizes and I've never heard anyone remark on particular rudeness or racism in Greensboro or the Triad.
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Old 07-24-2015, 10:34 AM
 
Location: NC
67 posts, read 103,466 times
Reputation: 82
Sunnymaid123,


I've been here 30 years and I'm going to sort of have to agree with you.
While its true as some have said, there is lots of diversity here, there does seem to be a prominent vibe/culture of elitism /snobbery here, esp in the only real 'nice' area of town which includes friendly center.
I also feel there is huge pressure to conform here and maybe you just aren't blending in well.

I think it might be hard for some to notice this on a large scale if they had not lived in other places.
I think its good that you gave your examples, because that shows that that you are really struggling with this and not just complaining. To be honest, i dont think you are ever gonna get the same type of casual interaction here as in FL, TX, Mex, etc..

I have made plenty of acquaintances, met some really nice people and seem to network 'ok' here,
I dont know what it is really, and i sort of struggle with it too, but there is a pervasive cliquish / clannish vibe here. That's my experience as well. Some of my more down to earth freinds are from Winston as well as Chapel Hill.

Personally, i've just learned not to care, don't associate with such people and never let them be on MY level. But it just really sucks knowing there are other places out there that are so much nicer overall.
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Old 07-24-2015, 10:48 AM
 
2,056 posts, read 2,465,561 times
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"Floridians are very open, liberal and will strike up a conversation with anyone and people are friendlier".

You must be from a Florida in an alternative universe. These rude Yankees are a trial to be around! Anything but friendly. I can live w/ the heat, the nut case politics (especially the present governor), but the people are the number one liability here. They came w/ that east coast attitude and they can leave w/ it as far as I am concerned. In 63 years of living, these are the worst people I have ever lived around in my life. Liberal???? Their politics are slightly to the right of Hitler!
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Old 07-24-2015, 11:19 AM
 
9 posts, read 7,087 times
Reputation: 21
I live near Boston now, and have had experiences with poor service and people flipping me off on the highway. I'll feel right at home apparently. LOL. Single incidents do not define a city!
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Old 07-24-2015, 03:38 PM
LLN
 
Location: Upstairs closet
4,981 posts, read 8,744,235 times
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Racist is the most overused word of 2015!
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Old 07-24-2015, 04:28 PM
 
Location: North Greensboro
819 posts, read 1,014,810 times
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I don't get all this snobbery and elitism i hear about on here, i can walk into the Lamborghini or Ferrari dealer here to just look around and no one treats you like you don't belong there, infact they're very friendly and encourage you to stay and take pictures or videos. For instance when i first moved here, that's exactly what i did, i went straight to FCI to take pictures and videos of the Ferrari Enzo, F50 and F40 that they had on display at the time, and i was welcomed with open arms and encouraged to stay aslong as i like, and i was just in some regular casual clothes, even met a couple people who are now good friends, That's just one good experience i can name that iv'e had here. No one pestered me, asked me if i needed something over and over again, followed me around or just in general made me feel uncomfortable. if i needed something, i'd just ask them. i did get alot of hi's and hello's however.

I remember walking into a Ferrari dealership in Atlanta and they acted like i was going to steal a car the moment i got in the door, constantly questioning what i was i was looking for and casually keeping a keen eye on me, that was Extremely rude.
even walking right behind me with his hands crossed. until i left.
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Old 07-24-2015, 06:25 PM
 
6,611 posts, read 6,923,777 times
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I would never go by something you read online. It sounds like sour grapes to me, and I would take it with a grain of salt.
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Old 07-24-2015, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,614,760 times
Reputation: 1478
Default This is so funny

I'm getting a really big kick out of this thread...


"I picked up a grain of sand and called it the world..."

As LLN wrote, "'Rasism' is the most overused word in 2015."
Like truth, the experience of racism or rudeness is subjective. Racist toward .. whom?

Greensboro... NORTH CAROLINA... has a culture all it's own. It's complex and layered.
  • Yes, I have talked to Latinos who have directly said that, "They don't like Mexicans here."
  • BUT... there are Chicanos who grew up here that are folded into the society and as, "Southern" as Huck ... or Buck. We each bring our karma, complexes, and projections to anywhere we go.
  • The thing with both the Triad and the Triangle is ... they've lived here in this state for centuries. They know each other's grandmothers and grandfathers. Black and White, they've bonded INSIDE the caldron of a racist society. They've done things to survive that they don't really want "outsiders" to know or see.
  • And YES... THERE IS RUDENESS. But what's rude to you, may be normal to someone else. I've had to learn where it comes from... and it doesn't come from a place of superiority (... unless you're talking about the old money people... ), it largely comes from fears of inadequacy and resentment.
  • They expect you to know the rules. This is the SOUTH... Old South, NEW South, Dirty South .. and it's also the East Coast. Sometimes it feels like ... The Deep South meets "The Wire".. on Mother's Day. It really does take time to learn the culture if you're not from the East Coast or the South. (And I've lived in other Southern states.. and this is still different.)
  • CODEPENDENCY ON STEROIDS: This has to be the most ... codependent group I've ever encountered. People have no clue that they're using others as distractions. When asked, they'll come up with excuses or will just lie. When people pay money to tint their windows so they can drive in another person's not-so-blind spot and peek at them... it's like the voyeur of the 60s who'd spend hours peeping in windows hoping to see a naked woman .. or man... walk by. The drug of choice of Codependents is... other people. And like a crack addict, they won't stop, nor even accept they're disturbing the peace of another. Maybe it's a narcissistic legacy of slavery... objectifying people.

When you move here, the FIRST people you're going to meet are the fools and the haters.
(The "good" people who live here don't notice them. They're hurrying past to get home to their families.)
Realize that most people here are compassionate people who want to get to know you.. but this state is really a series of small towns so ... you have to learn their style and give them time to see you're not a "dangerous yankee".

When I first moved here, it felt like I'd moved back to the 7th Grade. The feeling of, "Yo Momma" jokes without saying the words. When they made a joke, it felt offensive. And when I tried to joke around, it felt offensive to them. Different style you have to gradually internalize.

Many "transplants" say it takes 5-to-10 years to be accepted. (I REALLY don't plan on being "accepted" .. so it's forced me to become more of myself... and when I began doing that... people began warming up to me. ) But yeah... too... like someone else said... I've never seen a place with these many colleges and universities ... and such shallow thinking. It IS HARD to have a good conversation here. The cliquishness keeps the consensus reality inside and doesn't seem to grow because of it. If you're fine with this consensus level of their realty, you can be in "hog heaven."

Racism is everywhere. The Confederacy never died. I go to a gym with at least one Klan member. So yes, there is racism here... but what you're more likely to experience is the "Local" culture. There are also men and women of every hue who'll gladly jump into a relationship with you if you're on the same vibe. Anybody who doesn't see it is either in a state of huge denial, is white (so they're not targets), or they're lying...or stupid. On the other hand, a trip downtown shows you that people of various ethnic groups are hanging out, relaxed, and at seemingly peace with each other.

And yes it's also true that people here can SHOCKINGLY posture like they expect you to kiss their behinds. (Remember unloved people anywhere are eager to project their self-hatred outward and then try to slay it in others. So just step away and find someone who's smiling.)

And they GOSSIP like 9-thousand ... and expect you to live up to their mean-spirited gossip... and some idiots will actually get mad at you for being different than the projection they heard or assumed. This can be alarming for people from REAL urban cities who are used to the natural autonomy of "real cities." ("Diversity" here is a joke compared to LARGE urban life.) Twice I've had good old boys act like they're going to jump me for not cow-towing and bowing and smiling at them after they pushed their shopping carts full of beer up on my hip. There is dysfunction everywhere... and it can take the shape of "racism" ... but it's really dysfunctional people with Personality Disorders, jealousies and insecurities.

How to, "Get In" in Greensboro, NOrTh Carolina:
  1. "You have to go TOWARDS them," one young lady who moved here as a child told me. (If you're a loner, Forgeddaboutit. You can be here 20 years and they'll still see you as the same snapshot they took of you on Day 5.)
  2. Remember, YOU may have traveled the world, but their identity is firmly attached to the High School they went to. Give it time.
  3. "We like our churches, baseball, and beer." It's the Bible Belt. It may be 2015 on YOUR calendar, but this is a place where the primary culture is about raising kids and conforming to 2d Century dogma that people don't understand is coded allegory, and don't WANT to. So the sentiment is, "You have to join a church." Look up on the internet some of their weekly activities and attend if they appeal to you.
  4. Dance "Clubs." If you don't believe a 600 year old man built a wooden ship and put a million animals in it, then there are these step clubs and dance groups that people become members of and they have competitions and wear purple and beige matching suits. "If you don't, you'll miss out," people say.
  5. Don't take it personally. Everyone wants to be accepted and liked. Remember these are the days of BIG EGOS and attachment issues. Most of my problems have come from young women who hate their cashier job and saw no reason to show any respect to a stranger they hadn't grown up with. (This is the age of cell phones, computer games, texting on the road going 70 miles an hour, and broken, economically strained homes. )
  6. 35+ Years into Hip Hop, the Chest Beating narcissism of corporate brainwashing on one side, and narrow minded Tea Partiers pumped up with rage on the other, CAN make for some "interesting encounters." So remember, Americans take 80% of the world's psych meds, pain killers, and illegal drugs. It ain't always about you. Sometimes the people you meet (anywhere) are just over inflated, distorted human beings. So use this place to work on your own issues. (we all have them.) Grow some compassion and people will notice it and you'll begin to make friends.

YOU moved here... now see what the culture can teach you. They've been doing this dance for centuries. It's their normal and they're not changing. Use it to grow.
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Old 07-25-2015, 12:04 AM
 
Location: NC
67 posts, read 103,466 times
Reputation: 82
Wow,
Veganwriter you have summed up what i was trying to say so eloquently.
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Old 07-25-2015, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,614,760 times
Reputation: 1478
Default Thanks!

Thanks Midwest1960
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