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Old 07-28-2015, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Boston
6 posts, read 5,908 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello,

I am asking this on behalf of my mother, who just turned 50. We currently live in a suburb about 10 min. north of Boston and are considering moving to NC (Greensboro area most likely) where we would be closer to family. I am enrolled in the UNCG Distance Learning Program and plan to move next spring, along with my grandparents. My mother, recently divorced, is worried about making new friends and what life would be like in that area as compared to Boston. She does have a few good friends now, but would like to find the same thing in the south since she really is a very social person. Work is not a concern since she works remotely from home. Basically, I would like some info/opinions about how easy (or hard) is it to make friends in the south and if this would be believed to be a wise decision.

Thank you very much.
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Old 07-28-2015, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Southport
4,639 posts, read 4,810,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mdonny View Post
Hello,

I am asking this on behalf of my mother, who just turned 50. We currently live in a suburb about 10 min. north of Boston and are considering moving to NC (Greensboro area most likely) where we would be closer to family. I am enrolled in the UNCG Distance Learning Program and plan to move next spring, along with my grandparents. My mother, recently divorced, is worried about making new friends and what life would be like in that area as compared to Boston. She does have a few good friends now, but would like to find the same thing in the south since she really is a very social person. Work is not a concern since she works remotely from home. Basically, I would like some info/opinions about how easy (or hard) is it to make friends in the south and if this would be believed to be a wise decision.

Thank you very much.
I would say if one can make friends, one can make friends in the South. But, its really not possible to generalize about about something like that.
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Old 07-28-2015, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,401 posts, read 19,420,530 times
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50 really isn't considered "old" anymore--I am 51 and in the past year I have joined an adult kickball league where the majority of the players are younger than me (some by 20 years) and was just in a community theater production where some of my fellow actors could easily have been my children. Cities like Greensboro have tons of activities (and I don't mean "Senior activities" aka Mah Jongg and shuffleboard!) that a person with any drive whatsoever can find and get involved in. If she is at all social, she will be fine.

Volunteering at something you believe in (animal shelter, food bank, senior center) is one of the fastest ways to meet like-minded people and then start meeting THEIR friends, etc.

I once read advice, I believe it was right here on C-D, that when you move to a new place and want to meet people, when someone asks you to do something always say YES the first time, even if it's maybe not exactly what you're in the mood for. Once you turn them down, they will be far less likely to ask you to something else that MIGHT be up your alley, and besides, you never know how much you might like doing (whatever). And you'll have spent time with someone making a new connection.
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Old 07-28-2015, 03:27 PM
 
Location: NC High Country
3,867 posts, read 6,659,741 times
Reputation: 3824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francois View Post
.... If she is at all social, she will be fine.

Volunteering at something you believe in (animal shelter, food bank, senior center) is one of the fastest ways to meet like-minded people and then start meeting THEIR friends, etc.

I once read advice, I believe it was right here on C-D, that when you move to a new place and want to meet people, when someone asks you to do something always say YES the first time, even if it's maybe not exactly what you're in the mood for. Once you turn them down, they will be far less likely to ask you to something else that MIGHT be up your alley, and besides, you never know how much you might like doing (whatever). And you'll have spent time with someone making a new connection.
GREAT advice!
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Old 07-28-2015, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Boston
6 posts, read 5,908 times
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Francois, thank you so much for your response. That was very encouraging to hear!
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Old 08-08-2015, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,615,129 times
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Default On the other hand...

If your mom is from BOSTON ... she may NEVER meet people with the same levels of interests that she now has. Greensboro... North Carolina ... is friendly enough... but the mind-sets are extremely ... "local."

To these people, the world drops off when you leave the N.C. Border.
I've never seen so many colleges and universities with students so unaware about life in the greater world.
It's very cliquish, so that means people tend to support each other's small minded realities.

North Carolina is a more folksy place. Chit-chat. Gossip.
When you start in talking about the larger issues of the day, their eyes kind of glaze over and they call you a "show off" for just being you.

Charlotte or even Raleigh may be a better fit.
Atlanta may be even better.
Even Richmond, Virginia.

This place isn't bad... it's just still very much small town America in terms of consciousness.
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Old 08-12-2015, 11:42 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,496 posts, read 62,152,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Francois View Post
I once read advice...
when someone asks you to do something always say YES the first time,
even if it's maybe not exactly what you're in the mood for. Once you turn them down,
they will be far less likely to ask you to something else that MIGHT be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0xgjUhEG3U
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Old 08-12-2015, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Southport
4,639 posts, read 4,810,855 times
Reputation: 3417
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganwriter View Post
If your mom is from BOSTON ... she may NEVER meet people with the same levels of interests that she now has. Greensboro... North Carolina ... is friendly enough... but the mind-sets are extremely ... "local."

To these people, the world drops off when you leave the N.C. Border.
I've never seen so many colleges and universities with students so unaware about life in the greater world.
It's very cliquish, so that means people tend to support each other's small minded realities.

North Carolina is a more folksy place. Chit-chat. Gossip.
When you start in talking about the larger issues of the day, their eyes kind of glaze over and they call you a "show off" for just being you.

Charlotte or even Raleigh may be a better fit.
Atlanta may be even better.
Even Richmond, Virginia.

This place isn't bad... it's just still very much small town America in terms of consciousness.
Your sweeping generalizations are simply meaningless. I've met people in G'boro who were quite well traveled and very knowledgeable of the world and the issues of the day. And I've met people from Boston and New York who think the world stops at the edge of their neighborhood.
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Old 08-16-2015, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Durham, North Carolina
774 posts, read 1,615,129 times
Reputation: 1478
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinadawg2 View Post
Your sweeping generalizations are simply meaningless. I've met people in G'boro who were quite well traveled and very knowledgeable of the world and the issues of the day. And I've met people from Boston and New York who think the world stops at the edge of their neighborhood.
carolinadawg2 .. . this is a BIG piece of why the culture is so "Toxic" here.
(And I'm quoting others.)

You people LOVE to attack.
You love to get on your high horse ... all filled with self-righteous indignation and personalize anything and go off in a huff as if you've actually settled something.

THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE.
This is... SOCIAL MEDIA.

I don't know if you're aware of it... BUT I have a RIGHT to my opinion and my experience.

I'm sure there are intelligent people here. (... somewhere....)
okay... that one was a dirty shot... ((chuckle))

But define "intelligence."
Social intelligence? Musical intelligence? Spiritual intelligence? (that one is very different than, "religious intelligence"... an oxymoron if there ever was one)... athletic intelligence? etc...

One of the biggest problems with trying to have a discussion with people here is that the culture is so tied to where you went to high school and ... "other HISTORIC issues"... that people seem to be taught NOT to talk.

Except when you're in your own cliques and klans...
This keeps systems closed and emotions blocked. New information doesn't get in.
This isn't about ME.

This is about the state.
The Republican State of North Carolina ... and its full spectrum that ranges between generational loves and compassion to flat out ignorance and a STRONG resistance against "change." (Even a narcissistic fear of change or of "difference.")

carolinadawg2 ... read the threads. YOUR state, as heart breaking as it is... has let your school system sink to the lowest ranked for teachers IN THE NATION.
LOWER than Mississippi and Alabama. carolinadawg2 .... I assure you that's no small feat.

MENTAL HEALTH ... another catastrophe.
A woman who works as a counselor in this area complains it's become so bad because its been privatized.
I'm not so sure about that one ... because being a veteran, I encountered so much flack when I first arrive that I went to the VA seeking to join some socialization groups.. ... and encountered the worst mess I've ever seen in my life... and I've lived in different states and drove the roads as a truck driver in every state but Florida and Maine. THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE. Mine... and if you can't accept it, process it, or value it... the situation will never change.

I would have liked to talk to the woman more about it.. but she too got in a huff real fast and instead of wrestling with her, I just disengaged.

The WORLD has problems. But y'all want to keep lying by blaming everything on "new-comers, Yakees, and outsiders." REALLY? In the 'Dirty SOUTH"??

It's very irritating to want to engage with people and find the boundaries so rigid.
I don't care if it's a lawyer, a backer, or someone who works at Lowes.
NC just has it's on culture, and it's VERY "Local."
I can't say i wasn't warned.
Charlotte and Raleigh are different. (More interesting, "outsiders" ... and less people who feel threatened and entitled by "strangers" who look at the Bible a little differently or deeper than they do.0

So ... from no on... carolinadawg2... KNOW ... that my experience and knowledge is JUST as scared as yours and if you don't want to discuss them, your attempts to insult ... are just what you told me... MEANINGLESS. (HUMP!)

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Old 09-05-2015, 03:03 AM
 
17 posts, read 37,987 times
Reputation: 34
Default Cliquish

It is harder to form close bonds in this area than it is in Northern cities. Those native to this area tend to be nice on the surface but often very cliquish and not so open to outsiders. However, I have met a few really good genuine people that were born and raised here. And Greensboro is an attractive city so your mom will probably encounter plenty of folk from other places that call GBO home.
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