19 year old son just moved in with us. (Burlington: house, live in)

[trnsplntsyr]

Hi everybody,
my son just moved here from binghamton, NY. Here in burlington, NC I do not know what there is to do for someone his age. He just moved out from a group home type of situation and I do not want to baby him. he is smart, very out spoken. he just needs help making friends here.
I only had one day off this week and worked all day mid shift at my laocal BP station. Boss does not want him to hang out at the store just to talk and spead his opions to everybody that comes in. He is not used to being by himself. So when it is time for me to clean my house i have no time to entertan him. Hubby told me to let him get used to being here. Then give him chores to do. So when they had three days off this week and I worked I asked them to help me out.
Nither one heard me. Then hubby complains that my son said to him the house is a mess and they must think little faries come in the night to clean. I am not feeling well due to crocic fatage and fibromyliga. a lot of stress at work. We lost a fulltime worker and cash register is not working right
I need help. My hubby asked me to call around places and then have them to call back to ask for my son. There is no listing for 19 years old looking for something to do in the phone book. Hell the only friends I have are at work. The customers is all I know, We just moved here 2004 and I do not drive. hubby does but works.
I need help. I do not want to loose my son and have him move back to NY state as soon as his dad helps him perfect is driving skills.

[TiredOfSFL]

You mention that your son is 19, an age in which young men should be either working or studying but because I also read he came from a "group home type situation" I'm assuming that for some reason he can't do either.

The only idea I have would only work if you are a Christian or at least not closed to getting help from that source. If I were in your place I would contact some fairly big churches and ask for their youth pastor, then explain the situation and ask what activities they may have that he could get involved in (sports, games, outings), this way he could be "entertained" in a safe environment while making good new friends.

Btw, I really feel for you. I also suffer from fatigue and I'm allergic to dust so in order to do cleaning I have to wait for a time I have some energy and must wear one of those paint masks (but often forget so I often feel terrible the next day). I don't have a husband but my two children who live with me don't like helping a whole lot so things are never the way I'd like them to be.

I'm very much into natural healing and because I have a sister who has fibromyalgia I've researched it a bit. Stress is a big factor (and I see you're having quite a bit of it right now...) and so is diet. Please take care of yourself by eating healthily, finding your own ways to relax and get some spiritual/emotional support. If you need someone to "talk" to just PM me and I'll "listen", very often it's very therapeutic sharing our problems with someone else.

[ibeg4sushi]

Find out what he is passionate about, help him find that, help him find ways to volunteer towards those goals. Are there things he would like to try in life? It's time to try them out! Everyone at that age has ideas of the kinds of things they'd like to do in their lifetime. Help him work towards those goals. Sit down with him, make a list. Big ones and small ones. I don't live in Burlington, so I can't otherwise be of help, but try to look at the big picture... Good luck.

[WFW&P]

Ask your customers and explain your situation without sounding needy. My job requires me to be in convenient stores and one thing I have noticed is many of the customers are regulars and may have helpful advise.