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Old 06-07-2009, 11:29 AM
 
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One thing i want to throw out there, which I alluded to earlier, do you honestly and objectively believe it's in your son's best interest to be moved forward? If he moved forward would he continue to struggle? If he was retained would he do better in the next grade 2 yrs down the road, and every grade thereafter vs if he goes there now? I don't know anything about your son or the details of your situation outside of what you posted. I'm not saying you should do one or the other. I'm just saying you need honestly ask yourself these. No matter if the school failed your son, he still failed, and if he didn't learn what he was supposed to learn in his current grade, he may continue to struggle in the next.
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Old 06-07-2009, 11:53 AM
 
Location: The High Seas
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Quote:
do you honestly and objectively believe it's in your son's best interest to be moved forward?
Quote:
his scores on ALL subjects were middle to above grade level,
Most studies indicate that retention is not a good thing. In this case, it would most likely not be a good thing, with the information presented. Each case is different and only qualified teachers and psychs are going to know this particular situation. Now, there's the difficult part!
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Old 06-07-2009, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,097 posts, read 45,613,761 times
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Two of my boys have ADHD. Both are very smart and are now successful adults. Your kids will be too.

These kids must learn their own coping skills, and the methods that work for them to cope with this affliction. Your job is to help your son get accomodated in school so he can learn coping skills without becoming discouraged. In this day and age surely schools have had enough experience with ADHD that they shouldn't need to reinvent the wheel for these kids.
Don't be afraid of medication if it's recommended by your doctor (after thorough evaluation). It is a lifesaver for children who struggle to focus.
One of my kids repeated kindergarten and took Ritalin up until about junior year in HS when he opted to discontinue. He was not so hyperactive, just had a hard time focusing and filtering out distractions. Test taking was a problem for him, so accomodations were made to give them more time to finish.
The older one struggled more from hyperactivity in school, but was allowed to move around a lot if he needed to (In junior high they gave him a camera and let him roam around taking pictures for the yearbook. He had a lot of charm, so his Spanish I teacher in HS passed him if he would promise not to take Spanish II, LOL). He later took medication as an adult. Interestingly, they both thrived in the military. I've heard that ADD-ers do well in this tightly structured environment.

Good luck to you. These kids are a challenge, but they really can thrive and be just fine when they grow up.
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Interestingly, they both thrived in the military. I've heard that ADD-ers do well in this tightly structured environment.

Good luck to you. These kids are a challenge, but they really can thrive and be just fine when they grow up.
I know I have. It's funny b/c, at least in the Marine Corps, ADHD is a disqualifier for enlistment, unless you get a waiver. Though it traditionally gets waived alot if the test scores are there.
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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Iam a parent of a child whose has ADHD and let me tell you everything that people has posted do not realize that if the teachers,adminstrators,and other school officials do not understand the ends and outs of children with this conditions its very little help. I've been fighting with my school district for years about my son. first of all the teachers are not trained to teach these type of children and has stated in so many ways that children with ADHD is often put in their classroom without support that they need to be taugh. One thing people must understand is that their are different levels of ADHD and teachers need to be trained as well and their special educators because they usally only understand the learning part some what but not the behavorial part. Its such a stuggle on both ends. The parent ,teacher and school district must work together for the child. I think a better plan for children with this condition needs a lot of help and understanding from both sides and thats not always the cast. You will have to educate yourself about ADHD and find some parents such as yourself who has children with ADHD and you all work together and help the schools understand because fighting them only hurts your childs education if you go about it in the wrong way. a IEP will help you need to put what modifications in the IEP so that your child will have the same learning opprotunity as others, and with him being held back it will help him in the long run, also find some other activities during the summer for him to do while school is out. and read up on all the ADHD information you can and be prepare for when school starts back with what you feel that he will need so that he can progress in school. remmeber to keep a record of everything and always take a support person to the meeting with you for support. Its been a long road for me and I still working with the school and it hasnt been easy, but you have to do what you must do for your child.

Good luck, I really do understsnd
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Southeastern Cumberland County
983 posts, read 3,522,663 times
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Actually, if YOU request he be tested, they HAVE to test him within, I believe, 30 days. So you do NOT have to wait until 3rd grade.

But...having a child that's just finished 3rd grade...it IS more difficult, and MUCH more stressful! They're getting ready to take the EOG for the 1st time, and they drill, drill, drill these children. Plus having to learn their multiplication tables, etc. These kids and teachers in 3rd grade are under tremendous stress. So if you have a child that is already behind, they're going to fall further behind in 3rd grade without some sort of intervention and a parent that is actively involved trying to help them stay caught up.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:46 PM
 
Location: High Point NC
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Thank you all for responding to my asking for help, The school has not denied him help after his retention the special ed department said they could not do anything now it had to wait till next yr, my question is do they have a right to leave a child back when they knew there was something wrong and chose to over look it? I had him tested by an outside psychologist, I do not actually trust the schools in this kind of testing, I trust someone I have to pay a little more, I was told for my daughter an IEP will be in place for her next year, she goes to Ledford middle school here in davidson county NC, she has already been tested by the school and the psychologist, yet she did not have a IEP in place till I asked why she did not, my son the second grader at wallburg elm was completly over looked, My issue is they KNEW he was having all this trouble yet nothing was done, my son is a very smart child and he proved in on his testing, yet when he is in school he cannot focus, I go crazy trying to get him on the right meds to help him he is extreemly hyperactive is his problem..why am I so confused??? the test for normal are between 90 - 110 my son scored on all subjects 93 -110 yet the teacher graded him below average in all subjects, his therapist does not believe he should be retained do to his knowing the work and can do it, problem is when he gets in a class of 22-23 kids he does not proform, who is right, what do I do?? what is best for my son?? I'm being ripped apart....
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:50 PM
 
Location: High Point NC
7 posts, read 23,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macjr82 View Post
No matter if the school failed your son, he still failed, and if he didn't learn what he was supposed to learn in his current grade, he may continue to struggle in the next.


thing is when he was tested he was middle to above average in the learning of his grade level, he knows the work he will be learning the same work he already knows over again, hows that helping him either, he just has big trouble in a large setting of kids, smaller would be better
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:53 PM
 
Location: On the brink of WWIII
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Ask the teacher if he / she truly believes your son CANNOT do the work and will retaining him actually be the right thing to do?
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Old 06-07-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: High Point NC
7 posts, read 23,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zthatzmanz28 View Post
Ask the teacher if he / she truly believes your son CANNOT do the work and will retaining him actually be the right thing to do?

I have, she sat in the parent /teacher meeting, with the school counselor and the special ed teacher and said she truly believed he was better off being retained.
What breaks my heart is the fact they KNEW he was having such trouble and did nothing, I was the one who took my son and had him tested because I noticed his grades where falling
Why are teachers not made responsible for not noticing when a child is having a lot of difficulties and reporting them? I really have no choice but to retain my child in hopes that he will excel next yr but I just feel so horrible for my son that the school system failed him and I am sure so many other kids as well!
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