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I am not Catholic, but why do some people here have problems with being Catholic anyways?
You post brings out an important distinction. Catholicism teaches many things that other Christians consider idolatrous. If only they would learn to separate the beliefs they reject from the people who hold those beliefs, and treat the latter with more respect.
I think Dave made some good points concerning the OP. Is it possible she was discriminated against and faced some uncomfortable situations? I am sure she did, but if you are looking for other people to make your life better by being accommodating and sweet then you are in for a rough road. Her obvious fear and hesitance and I would say outright bigoted attitude toward people in this region I am sure set her up for the kind of resistance she found.
The bottom line is that there are so few Catholics, Jews and long term immigrated Mexicans or Hispanics that most people have no hatred or prejudice toward them in any way. You have to live with a group of people and be exposed to the cultural differences and actually feel a threat to your way of life because of their way of life before any kind of serious prejudice takes hold.
Everything most people have any kind of prejudices against down here concerning those groups could be overcome with a smile and a good attitude. I would be willing to bet most people in this region are so ignorant concerning Catholicism that they would be more that happy to listen to someone actually explain it to them.
Also most people in South Carolina have never seen an actual Mexican. Sure they have seen plenty of people from Honduras and Guatemala but it is so rare to run into a person of Hispanic decent that speaks English well, considers themselves American and someone who has a vested interest in this country. Its nothing like Texas or the Soutwest and people here know nothing about that culture, so all they have to go on is what FOX news tells them and like I said. A good attitude, a smile and some patience can overcome that kind of ignorance.
I am sure she might have been uncomfortable and I really do hate she was not happy here and I hope she finds it elsewhere. But there was nothing here that prevented her from being happy other than her.
I do not think people from outside the region understand how insulting and bigoted it sounds every time someone asks the question "Are we going to be lynched if we move down there?"
I cannot think of a region in the Americas that gets those kind of comments on a regular basis more than the south..well other than Mexico.
I do not think people from outside the region understand how insulting and bigoted it sounds every time someone asks the question "Are we going to be lynched if we move down there?"
I cannot think of a region in the Americas that gets those kind of comments on a regular basis more than the south..well other than Mexico.
These posts are great!! gsup one of my best friends in Chicago is gay and he and his partner have been together for over 20 years as well. I honestly heard his voice reading your post. I miss him so much. Look I'm sure that SC has some wonderful people, honestly; I just didn't find them. My kids and I hung out at the pool the entire first summer we were here and I literally stalked people there that may have had children the same age as mine so that I could strike up conversation with them in hopes that my kids could make some friends but no one was really interested. These were my experiences and mine alone. Yes I am Hispanic and I am fluent in Spanish and I know my culture which I am quite proud of, but I was born and raised in Chicago. If you were to speak with me you would not know I was Hispanic.
Look, all I know is that for three years, I did my best. I joined clubs, was active in my church, explored the wonderful SC history, I participated in everything that was SC life and, yes, I was even polite and flashed smiles all around town. But am I understanding correctly? I was discriminated against because I was afraid of being discriminated against? So I was asking for it? My kids were told that their beliefs were going to result in them going to hell, and it is ok for teachers to make fun of them? I don't think that anything that I say, think, or do should make it ok for an adult to discriminate against my child! I did not fly off the handle when my daughter told me what happened, I didn't bad mouth the teacher. I told her to tell him that she respected his religion so he should respect hers. That was it.
And dave, I get you now. You think that the experiences I had were justified because of my fears. I brought it on myself because I was projecting and that all rubbed off on my kids. So you are ok with the treatment we got here. Not once did you say that what happened to my kids was wrong because I think deep down (or maybe not that deep down) you are ok with it. Nothing wrong with it right? Does that make you just as bad as a racist? Or just a racist? Because that is what you're projecting. The attitude in your statements basically says I was asking for it. I'm not entitled to special treatment, fairness or anything. I just thought that people would act human and decent.
And dave, I get you now. You think that the experiences I had were justified because of my fears. I brought it on myself because I was projecting and that all rubbed off on my kids. So you are ok with the treatment we got here. Not once did you say that what happened to my kids was wrong because I think deep down (or maybe not that deep down) you are ok with it. Nothing wrong with it right? Does that make you just as bad as a racist? Or just a racist? Because that is what you're projecting. The attitude in your statements basically says I was asking for it. I'm not entitled to special treatment, fairness or anything. I just thought that people would act human and decent.
Izzy, no that's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that our fears affect our perceptions, which can skew our understanding of the motive behind somebody's behavior. Sometimes we think we know why somebody treats us a certain way, but many times the reality is totally different. I don't know what you experienced, but it sure sounds like you have a tendancy to view every rejection or negative experience as discrimination, whether true or not. What your daughter experienced regarding her Catholic faith wasn't discrimination. It certainly was an ignorant, rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, counterproductive way for the parties involved to get their point across to her, but it wasn't discrimination. They disagee and reject the Catholic faith, but so what? That's their right. It's not discrimination. The problem is they didn't discriminate, i.e., distinguish, the difference between the religion they reject and your daughter, who as one of God's creations, shouldn't be treated disrespecfully.
I'm really sorry you and your family didn't have a positive experience in SC, especially since you tried so hard to make it work. But sometimes it just doesn't work out, no matter how hard we try. So don't get into the habit of blaming every rejection or misfortune on discrimination. You're too intelligent for that.
You're right dave, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Am I disappointed? Yes, heartbroken. But this is what I will take with me. My husband and I have never been closer, my faith has never been stronger. I actually miss and learned to appreciate that big crazy family of mine that I left back in Chicago. I fell in love with Charleston where I learned more history than I did in any history class. And I had some of the best weekends walking around downtown Greenville and along the Reedy River. I learned what REAL red velvet cake is. My kids have experienced more of the country in their short lives than I have in my entire life. So for that I am thankful.
You're right dave, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Am I disappointed? Yes, heartbroken. But this is what I will take with me. My husband and I have never been closer, my faith has never been stronger. I actually miss and learned to appreciate that big crazy family of mine that I left back in Chicago. I fell in love with Charleston where I learned more history than I did in any history class. And I had some of the best weekends walking around downtown Greenville and along the Reedy River. I learned what REAL red velvet cake is. My kids have experienced more of the country in their short lives than I have in my entire life. So for that I am thankful.
My heart goes out to you. I know what the confusion and pain feels like. Very bitter. Sometimes it just doesn't make any sense, but God knows what he's doing. You will be a better person for this. I absolutely know that beyond a shadow of a doubt because I can sense the kind of person you are from the things you've written. God will build greater things inside you, greater than what you yearned for on the ground in SC. Just remember that no one is perfect. One day, the compassion that you so wanted to receive from others in SC, you will be able to give to them.
Last edited by daveatgso; 02-10-2011 at 07:45 AM..
I find it interesting, that some people just won't belief that somebody can actually have a bad experience in Greenville. I also thought, that Izy was probably more worried than she should have been but it is possible that she tried really hard and it still didn't work out. I'd be a little more careful with making judgments after reading something online.
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