Besides a bar, where can people meet people?

[scnsc]

You've all given me some really great places to start-thank you. Some days are better than others. Seriously, I was always in it for the "we." Always. Still am most times of most days. :-\ I would love nothing more than to learn from this and grow our relationship stronger and better-he's aware of that-this is his choice for now, but if it doesn't go that way, when it comes to the retirement account, I'll let my lawyer handle it if I have to. This is not the same man I knew a year ago folks. That guy is MIA right now. If you're married, I don't care for how long, or how well you think your relationship is, just pick up a copy of "His Needs, Her Needs." If you're in a good spot, fantastic! You will find one or two things to make your marriage better! I wish I had read it five years ago.

[AcadianIrish]

Originally Posted by scnsc

You've all given me some really great places to start-thank you. Some days are better than others. Seriously, I was always in it for the "we." Always. Still am most times of most days. :-\ I would love nothing more than to learn from this and grow our relationship stronger and better-he's aware of that-this is his choice for now, but if it doesn't go that way, when it comes to the retirement account, I'll let my lawyer handle it if I have to. This is not the same man I knew a year ago folks. That guy is MIA right now. If you're married, I don't care for how long, or how well you think your relationship is, just pick up a copy of "His Needs, Her Needs." If you're in a good spot, fantastic! You will find one or two things to make your marriage better! I wish I had read it five years ago.

You sound like a very wise woman!
You husband is lucky to have such a dedicated and forgiving woman. Hopefully, if this "temporary" insanity leaves him.......you will both be able to have a new perspective on what it takes for a marriage to be healthy and strong. If he doesn't wish to work through this and instead chooses to abandon his vows, then I'm sure you are still going to make out fine! You sound like you have a great understanding of how complicated life can be and that not every answer is the same for everyone.
Just from what you have said about reading that book, and the fact that you are even willing to look at the role you might have played within the breaking down of your marriage is amazing. (I'm not saying you have any fault in his infidelity......just that we all have a role we play within relationships)
You really seem to have the concept of "until you walk a mile in someones shoes" and that is what is most important to get you through this whether it works out or it doesn't.

I sense you will be fine........and really don't need anyone's advice.
You already know what you need to do for YOU to heal and so that you can look at yourself in the mirror!