U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 08-09-2010, 11:45 PM
Location: Tulsa, OK
5,988 posts, read 9,985,249 times
Reputation: 36679


I need some ideas. A lot of you know I lost my wife 2 weeks ago. Some of you have an idea of the kind of woman she was by reading my comments in the past. My talents as a writer are not near good enough to tell you how amazing she was. It's standard to spend several thousands of dollars to place a granite memorial at a grave site. I want to do something so that 50 years from now more than 5 or 6 people, who stopped by her grave, know who she was. Short of building "Nancy Tower" on Chicago's lake front, and that is beyond my budget, I can't think of a lasting memorial. Any suggestions
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 08-09-2010, 11:49 PM
25,947 posts, read 25,905,924 times
Reputation: 26678
Here's an old thread in this forum with a mixture of funny, serious and none at all. They might not be what you want, but may give you some ideas.

Your epitaph
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2010, 11:56 PM
792 posts, read 1,058,364 times
Reputation: 1087
Based on your wife's qualities, perhaps a scholarship fund, in her name and honor, might be a consideration.

Memorials placed in a cemetery seem to be more for family and friends left behind, a place to remember, per se. A scholarship fund dedicated in your wife's memory and honor will keep both her memory and cherished qualities alive for year's to come, to be shared by people she never met.....just a thought......best of luck !
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 12:30 AM
Location: Moved to town. Miss 'my' woods and critters.
25,463 posts, read 11,981,108 times
Reputation: 31635
I agree with Irish4evr. The local school district awards many scholarships to graduating seniors each year that have been primarily funded by family members of their deceased loved ones. An aunt and an uncle of my DH provided a joint scholarship that over the years has brought some financial relief to many young college bound students from this area.

At graduation these many scholarships are made available and listed in the local newspaper thereby providing another method for these thoughtful benefactors to be remembered. It is so very appreciated.

I wish the best for you in this endeavor, studedude. Prayers and thoughts for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 03:33 AM
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
8,233 posts, read 12,836,624 times
Reputation: 10461
I'm sorry for your loss, I don't recall your posts so I'm not familiar with what your wife was like - all I can say is that the ones that catch my eye in cemeteries are ones with an angel or cross over them. They don't have to be large, just something different from your average square headstone. Not sure how much they would cost though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 03:39 AM
Location: Neither here nor there
14,810 posts, read 13,574,437 times
Reputation: 32926
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family over the loss of your beloved wife, studedude.

A scholarship fund is a wonderful idea, as is a beautiful picture, beautifully framed and with a small, memorial plaque attached saying "to honor the memory of _______________ (followed by a few words describing her fine qualities)" and donated to a local nursing home to be hung in a the foyer, day room, etc. of a nursing home in your community. Or.....depending on your funds, a small aviary placed in a local hospital or nursing home with such a plaque attached. (These can by rather pricey but they are lovely to sit and watch.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 05:22 AM
25,947 posts, read 25,905,924 times
Reputation: 26678
There was too much advertising associated with these sites to post them, but type unique memorials in your browser and everything from trees to benches comes up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 05:28 AM
Location: Mayberry
31,591 posts, read 12,720,981 times
Reputation: 68369
I was thinking some kind of small garden somewhere or tree planted in her memory at her favorite place. A plaque could be added too. That depends on your community and who she was close to and what she was interested in.
Continued prayers for your healing dear one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 06:32 AM
Location: Iowa
1,525 posts, read 1,068,779 times
Reputation: 14399
When my MIL passed, the family donated money to the hospital auxillary where she volunteered. She was often out on the walking trail so in memory of her and my BIL that also passed, we have purchased a couple of benches that will be placed along the trail. Their names will be listed so that they can still offer comfort (in a way) to others along the way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-10-2010, 06:32 AM
Status: "The weather is beautiful:)" (set 1 day ago)
Location: Where the sun likes to shine!!
20,369 posts, read 25,524,356 times
Reputation: 87968
My condolences studedude. You are in our thoughts during this difficult time.

Here is an article I found that has some interesting ideas.

Ten Ideas for Creating a Memorial After the Funeral or Life Celebration
by Mary Hickey

Below you will find many memorial and remembrance ideas that you can use to keep the memory of your loved one alive. After the funeral, memorial service or life celebration many people wish to have something permanent as a reminder of the person that they loved and lost. It may help to think about what was important to the person you lost. What did they value? What made them smile? Perhaps by beginning there, the appropriate memorial will present itself. Here are 10 ideas that may help to guide you.

- You can plant a tree in their memory. You can find tree seedlings on the internet. You could also buy a tree at a local nursery.

- Have your love one's photo placed on a stamp. This also would be ideal for the thank you notes you will be sending for the flowers, donations and the help you will be receiving. Get more information here PhotoStamps.com - Personalized Photo Stamps, Custom Stamp, Custom USPS Personalized Stamps. On the anniversary of their death or on their birthday, consider sending a card or a memorial gift to close friends and relatives.

- Donate a memorial bench, if they loved golf, their favorite golf course may welcome the donation of a memorial bench. You may also consider purchasing a plaque or a brick in their name to help fund a community project.

- Have a star in the sky named after your loved one.

- Plant a section in the garden each year with their favorite flowers, you also may want to add a stepping stone or rock with their name on it in their special section of the garden. Consider each year sharing flowers from that section of the garden with the family and friends of your loved one.

- Start a college scholarship in their name.

- Create a video or DVD from photos and video or movie clips. This video can be played at family gatherings and on the person's birthday or anniversary of their death. You can also easily make copies to share with close friends and relatives.

- Create a book of memories for the deceased's family. Have friends and family write on note cards and include the note cards with photos in the book. You may also want to include newspaper articles about the deceased, the obituary etc.

- Create a memorial on the web, there are several websites that allow loved ones to memorialize the deceased through video, pictures, and voice recordings.

- Keep a journal of your memories, your thoughts and what you learned from your loved one.

Dealing with a loss of a loved one is so difficult. It's important to do what brings you peace-of-mind. Focusing on a memorial may help you through the grief process and allow you to focus on the unique and positive aspects of your loved ones life and how that life can be remembered and celebrated for years to come.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top